WEBVTT
00:00:02.400 --> 00:00:03.731
Oh, my God...
00:00:03.920 --> 00:00:09.245
...it's full-on double rainbow all
the way across the sky!
00:00:09.840 --> 00:00:11.649
Whoa!
00:00:11.840 --> 00:00:14.286
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
00:00:14.480 --> 00:00:17.051
Oh! Oh, my God!
00:00:17.280 --> 00:00:19.647
Whoo!
00:00:19.840 --> 00:00:21.649
What does this mean?
00:00:22.920 --> 00:00:25.366
It's so bright.
00:00:25.560 --> 00:00:27.767
Oh, my God,
it's so bright and vivid.
00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:30.571
It's starting to look
like a triple rainbow.
00:00:30.800 --> 00:00:32.370
Oh!
00:00:35.080 --> 00:00:37.162
Going streaking across the quad!
00:00:45.160 --> 00:00:46.844
Coochie, coochie, coochie!
00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:53.645
Yeah. No, I know. Uh-huh.
00:00:53.840 --> 00:00:56.320
No, I'm not. I'm not.
No, I'm paying attention.
00:00:56.720 --> 00:00:59.121
Mom, I'm listening. Just talk.
00:00:59.480 --> 00:01:01.801
- Tyrone.
- Are you going trick-or-treating?
00:01:02.040 --> 00:01:03.565
- No, because--
- Pow!
00:02:08.640 --> 00:02:10.927
I'm in the car.
I'm literally in the car.
00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:12.565
David, hey. David Clark.
00:02:12.760 --> 00:02:13.841
Rick Nathanson.
00:02:14.720 --> 00:02:17.724
- Uh, I'm sorry.
- Little Ricky. We went to college together.
00:02:18.040 --> 00:02:19.644
Oh, shit. Hey, dude.
00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:23.287
We all took ecstasy at Dave Matthews
one time and I tried to kiss you.
00:02:24.080 --> 00:02:25.844
That's right. I remember that. Yeah.
00:02:26.120 --> 00:02:27.167
Yeah. "Crash."
00:02:27.360 --> 00:02:28.441
Yup.
00:02:28.640 --> 00:02:31.564
Wow. I didn't recognize you.
You look very different.
00:02:31.760 --> 00:02:33.888
I've gained a little bit of daddy weight.
00:02:34.080 --> 00:02:35.491
You know the drill.
00:02:35.680 --> 00:02:37.250
Actually, I don't, no.
00:02:37.880 --> 00:02:41.009
- No way. No way! Still a free agent.
- Mm.
00:02:41.200 --> 00:02:44.363
You son of a bitch!
You lucky son of a bitch.
00:02:44.600 --> 00:02:48.525
You lucky, lucky son of a bitch.
Wow, that's amazing. Wow.
00:02:49.640 --> 00:02:52.086
Here. For old times' sake, huh?
00:02:52.960 --> 00:02:54.041
For daddy stress.
00:02:55.080 --> 00:02:56.411
You're still dealing weed?
00:02:56.920 --> 00:02:58.445
Best in Denver.
00:02:59.280 --> 00:03:01.328
That's fucking awesome. Oh, my God.
00:03:02.320 --> 00:03:03.446
That is so cool.
00:03:03.640 --> 00:03:05.369
- You're still at it.
- Yeah.
00:03:05.560 --> 00:03:07.642
- I envy you, man. I do.
- Ah.
00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:10.525
Look at you. No wife, no kids.
00:03:10.760 --> 00:03:12.091
- No responsibilities.
- Mm-hm.
00:03:12.280 --> 00:03:14.567
Pfft, nothing.
You got nothing.
00:03:14.760 --> 00:03:17.161
You could disappear tomorrow
and who'd even know?
00:03:18.240 --> 00:03:19.924
- Oh, what I wouldn't give.
- Yeah.
00:03:20.120 --> 00:03:22.361
Oh, hey, I didn't mean that in like, I mean--
00:03:22.560 --> 00:03:25.211
No. It's all right. It doesn't bother me.
It's all right.
00:03:25.840 --> 00:03:27.604
- Great seeing you.
- Great seeing you.
00:03:27.800 --> 00:03:29.370
Okay, bud, I believe in you.
00:03:29.600 --> 00:03:31.409
- Hey, David?
- Yeah?
00:03:31.880 --> 00:03:34.247
- Facebook me. We'll get weird.
- I don't think so.
00:03:34.480 --> 00:03:37.245
- Ha, ha! Get out of here.
- Good luck with the family.
00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:40.804
Oh, fuck. Fuck me. Fuck.
Hey, great news.
00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:42.923
We're gonna get high and fuck tonight.
00:03:43.120 --> 00:03:45.407
I'm sorry, honey.
Put Mommy on the phone, okay?
00:04:00.640 --> 00:04:04.326
I'm-a take my skin', boot, rings
All off
00:04:04.520 --> 00:04:07.888
Skirt, boots, rings
All off
00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:11.129
Ooh, baby, you so bad, boy
Drive me mad, boy
00:04:11.320 --> 00:04:13.402
You don't care what they
Say about me
00:04:13.640 --> 00:04:17.406
Girl is a problem
Girl is a problem, problem
00:04:25.440 --> 00:04:26.805
Wow.
00:04:27.000 --> 00:04:29.731
- You dance super good.
- Thanks.
00:04:29.920 --> 00:04:32.002
I'm Kymberly.
With a Y.
00:04:33.440 --> 00:04:35.522
I'm Rose.
With an R.
00:04:36.200 --> 00:04:37.804
Is that your stage name?
00:04:38.040 --> 00:04:39.883
- My what?
- Your stage name.
00:04:40.080 --> 00:04:43.323
To protect yourself from the creeps
out there. You should pick one.
00:04:43.520 --> 00:04:48.401
You know, something simple but sexy
and cute and short, maybe.
00:04:48.640 --> 00:04:51.086
- Do you have a nickname?
- Totally!
00:04:51.280 --> 00:04:52.520
Great. Use that, because--
00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:54.643
I even got a tattoo of it. Do you wanna see?
00:04:54.840 --> 00:04:55.921
Uh, well, n--
00:04:56.120 --> 00:04:57.326
Check it out.
00:04:57.560 --> 00:05:01.087
"Boner Garage." Oh, whoa.
00:05:01.320 --> 00:05:03.049
You got a little arrow there even.
00:05:03.280 --> 00:05:05.009
Is that not like the hottest?
00:05:05.240 --> 00:05:07.242
Boner Garage, you're up.
00:05:07.440 --> 00:05:11.570
Oh, look at that. So excited and full of life.
That'll fade.
00:05:11.760 --> 00:05:16.641
Hey, Rose. I know you're "technically"
on break, but I need a lap dance. Table five.
00:05:16.840 --> 00:05:19.684
Just don't get too close.
The guy has two hook hands.
00:05:21.160 --> 00:05:22.730
How did we let that guy back in here?
00:05:23.160 --> 00:05:25.401
Must have picked the locks. Ha, ha!
00:05:53.680 --> 00:05:54.886
How was work this evening?
00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:56.201
What do you care?
00:05:56.400 --> 00:05:57.526
I'm just asking.
00:05:57.720 --> 00:05:58.960
Oh, just don't.
00:05:59.280 --> 00:06:01.203
Fine. Well, is your dummy boyfriend around?
00:06:01.400 --> 00:06:03.721
No. Jimmy's with his parents. Why?
00:06:03.960 --> 00:06:06.804
Well, because Jimmy still owes me
400 bucks, so...
00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:09.442
Maybe you shouldn't loan drugs
to people.
00:06:10.360 --> 00:06:12.362
- All right. Good tip.
- Mm-hm.
00:06:13.280 --> 00:06:16.443
I was thinking is that maybe you
could help him out, settle his debt.
00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:20.762
- Not a fucking chance.
- You'd be doing me a solid, neighbor.
00:06:20.960 --> 00:06:23.406
Oh, really? Neighbor?
You're not a neighbor.
00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:26.604
You're a drug dealer whose apartment
smells like cheese and feet.
00:06:26.800 --> 00:06:29.690
Mm. Yeah, it's a candle
I got from Anthropologie.
00:06:29.880 --> 00:06:32.770
Cheesy Feet. That's what they call it.
It's a bestseller.
00:06:34.320 --> 00:06:36.721
Oh, Rose, got a piece of your mail here.
00:06:37.320 --> 00:06:40.767
I'd lend you some money,
but we're not neighbors.
00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:42.206
Oh, you're such a dick!
00:06:43.360 --> 00:06:45.124
Have fun dying alone, jerk.
00:06:45.320 --> 00:06:47.641
Have fun digging out the singles
from your crotch.
00:06:47.880 --> 00:06:49.609
My crotch only takes 20s, David.
00:06:54.080 --> 00:06:55.366
Hey, David.
00:06:55.600 --> 00:06:58.604
- Hi, Kenny.
- I heard you and Mrs. O'Reilly fighting.
00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:01.849
It's called flirting, Kenny.
You'll learn about it in college.
00:07:02.520 --> 00:07:05.046
What are you doing up?
It's almost 2. Where's your mom?
00:07:05.240 --> 00:07:09.245
- Uh, she went for a drink. With a friend.
- When?
00:07:09.920 --> 00:07:11.285
Last week.
00:07:11.480 --> 00:07:13.801
Uh, so I got the whole place to myself.
00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:16.731
Yeah. Rolling Han Solo
for the weekend.
00:07:16.920 --> 00:07:18.888
Mm-hm.
00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:21.964
Um, speaking of rolling, I was wondering if--
00:07:22.160 --> 00:07:25.607
- I don't sell to kids, Kenny.
- I'm 18. I'm gonna get my own place soon.
00:07:25.840 --> 00:07:26.887
Not a kid, David.
00:07:27.560 --> 00:07:30.040
Yeah, you are. Take care.
00:07:30.640 --> 00:07:32.847
Give me my fucking phone.
00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:35.964
- You guys are such assholes.
- Hey, baby.
00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:37.400
Leave her alone.
00:07:37.640 --> 00:07:39.404
- Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
- Unhand her.
00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:42.005
Hey, leave her alone.
00:07:43.800 --> 00:07:45.723
Goddamn it, Kenny.
00:07:45.920 --> 00:07:47.843
- Fucking tough guy Huh?
- You don't have to--
00:07:48.040 --> 00:07:49.201
Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
00:07:49.440 --> 00:07:51.727
Easy, easy. What's going on here?
00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:55.970
- Mind your fucking business, old man.
- Oh, my God. You're a dude. Ha, ha!
00:07:56.200 --> 00:07:59.568
That scared me. Your voice was so much
deeper than your bone structure.
00:07:59.760 --> 00:08:01.762
These assholes are trying to steal my iPhone.
00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:04.048
You have an iPhone?
Aren't you homeless?
00:08:04.240 --> 00:08:06.083
So? Fuck you, dude.
00:08:07.160 --> 00:08:09.049
Okay, this was fun. Carry on.
00:08:09.240 --> 00:08:10.890
- Come on, let's go.
- What? No.
00:08:11.200 --> 00:08:13.328
These guys are picking on her
and it's not fair.
00:08:13.520 --> 00:08:15.966
What you gonna do, white boy?
You some type of hero?
00:08:16.160 --> 00:08:17.650
Not a hero. He's a dumb kid.
00:08:18.200 --> 00:08:21.727
I got an idea. Leave the girl alone.
Just move along. Huh, what do you say?
00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:23.081
- "Move along"?
- Yeah.
00:08:23.280 --> 00:08:26.762
- What are you, some kind of cop?
- He's not a cop. He's actually really cool.
00:08:26.960 --> 00:08:28.200
- Thanks.
- He's a drug dealer.
00:08:28.440 --> 00:08:30.568
- Really?
- Goddamn it, Kenny.
00:08:30.760 --> 00:08:31.886
Give me your backpack.
00:08:32.080 --> 00:08:33.161
I don't wanna fight.
00:08:33.400 --> 00:08:36.847
Well, there's not gonna be a fight.
See, you either give me the backpack...
00:08:37.040 --> 00:08:39.566
...or I'm gonna stab you in the neck
and take it.
00:08:41.160 --> 00:08:43.766
It's a real Sophie's choice here, huh?
All right.
00:08:44.160 --> 00:08:45.286
Okay, backpack it is.
00:08:45.480 --> 00:08:46.561
If you wa--
00:08:49.080 --> 00:08:50.161
Run, Kenny!
00:08:52.400 --> 00:08:53.561
You're dead meat!
00:08:58.400 --> 00:09:02.325
Hey, sorry, I dropped my phone.
Are we still going out tonight or what?
00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:05.730
Fucking shit! Shit!
00:09:08.440 --> 00:09:09.885
Oh, shit.
00:09:17.320 --> 00:09:18.970
Sorry. This is fucking dumb.
00:09:26.360 --> 00:09:28.169
Whoa-ho-ho, motherfucker.
00:09:29.080 --> 00:09:32.004
- We got you now.
- Unh!
00:09:32.200 --> 00:09:35.283
- Do whatever's in the safe too.
- Look at that.
00:09:35.480 --> 00:09:38.324
It's not even my money.
if you take that my boss will kill me.
00:09:39.400 --> 00:09:42.370
You okay, David?
I can help. I'll call the cops.
00:09:42.600 --> 00:09:44.011
No, I'm okay.
00:09:59.800 --> 00:10:00.847
Hey!
00:10:01.480 --> 00:10:03.289
Whoa, what the--! Unh!
00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:05.482
When Mr. Brad calls, you answer! Get in there!
00:10:14.480 --> 00:10:17.529
Please don't tell me
where we're going. I love surprises.
00:10:18.280 --> 00:10:20.362
- All right. Okay.
- Can I help you?
00:10:20.560 --> 00:10:22.688
Hi. You ordered two black guys.
00:10:22.880 --> 00:10:24.848
Oh. Okay. This guy.
00:10:25.040 --> 00:10:27.361
No. David Clark here
to see Mr. Gurdlinger, please?
00:10:27.600 --> 00:10:29.921
I'll tell him you're here.
Can I get you something?
00:10:30.120 --> 00:10:31.929
Coffee. Tea.
Fresca.
00:10:32.120 --> 00:10:33.167
Hmm.
00:10:33.400 --> 00:10:35.801
You know what,
a Fresca sounds really good.
00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:37.331
- You got it.
- Appreciate it.
00:10:37.520 --> 00:10:39.966
Hold on one second.
You guys want anything? It's on me.
00:10:40.200 --> 00:10:41.326
Replenishes electrolytes.
00:10:41.520 --> 00:10:44.205
Don't want you cramping up
when you jerk each other off.
00:10:44.400 --> 00:10:45.481
Nice meeting you.
00:10:49.080 --> 00:10:50.320
Easy.
00:10:50.720 --> 00:10:52.370
Easy. Oof!
00:10:52.560 --> 00:10:54.881
Okay. I'm gonna hang out here
if that's all right.
00:10:55.080 --> 00:10:57.128
Oh, thank you for that.
That's very helpful.
00:10:57.320 --> 00:11:00.085
Oh! David Clark.
00:11:00.280 --> 00:11:03.250
You're a hard man to find.
Take it easy on the plastic.
00:11:03.440 --> 00:11:05.761
Whoa, Brad, what the fuck is this?
00:11:06.600 --> 00:11:09.126
Look, man, I was gonna call you back.
Do not kill me.
00:11:09.320 --> 00:11:11.448
- I got robbed, okay. I swear.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:11:11.640 --> 00:11:12.766
What are you--? What--?
00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:14.007
Oh, the plastic?
00:11:14.280 --> 00:11:15.441
Yeah, the plastic.
00:11:15.640 --> 00:11:16.687
I've seen Dexter.
00:11:16.880 --> 00:11:21.488
Buddy, I'm putting in a new skylight,
you idiot. Ha, ha.
00:11:21.960 --> 00:11:25.043
You should have seen your face just now.
You shit a brick.
00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:27.364
Well, what am I supposed to think, man?
00:11:27.560 --> 00:11:30.370
You've got these thugs throwing a bag
over my head. Come on.
00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:33.121
I'm sorry about that.
I didn't mean to freak you out.
00:11:33.320 --> 00:11:36.324
- It's fine.
- You do know I've killed people though?
00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:38.086
Yeah, Brad, I know.
00:11:38.280 --> 00:11:39.486
Ha-ha. All right, have a seat.
00:11:41.160 --> 00:11:42.605
Whoa, what the fuck is that?
00:11:42.840 --> 00:11:46.083
What? Oh, my orca?
Yeah, I bought an orca.
00:11:47.720 --> 00:11:49.324
I make a lot of money.
00:11:50.800 --> 00:11:51.961
So you bought a whale?
00:11:52.160 --> 00:11:53.685
Well, I don't like sports cars.
00:11:53.880 --> 00:11:56.360
- Yeah, yeah.
- So where's my money, David?
00:11:56.680 --> 00:11:59.160
Come on, man. We go back.
00:11:59.400 --> 00:12:01.368
We do go back.
But it's not college anymore.
00:12:01.560 --> 00:12:03.608
We're not selling lids out of my dorm room.
00:12:03.800 --> 00:12:06.371
And you owe me $43,000.
00:12:06.560 --> 00:12:09.564
I told you, I got robbed, Brad.
They took everything I had, man.
00:12:09.760 --> 00:12:12.843
This week's drop, 22 grand
of my money that I'd saved. I'm fucked.
00:12:13.080 --> 00:12:18.166
Listen, this is a fucked-up situation.
But I might have a win-win for both of us.
00:12:18.880 --> 00:12:21.451
- Great.
- I have a smidge of very choice...
00:12:21.640 --> 00:12:23.324
...mari-ju-ana down in Mexico...
00:12:23.520 --> 00:12:25.409
...and I need it here by Sunday night.
00:12:25.600 --> 00:12:28.444
My regular courier is out
because he got gunned down.
00:12:28.680 --> 00:12:29.920
That's where you come in.
00:12:30.360 --> 00:12:32.727
You could be my mule.
I need someone I can trust.
00:12:32.920 --> 00:12:36.527
Go to Mexico, bring it back by Sunday night,
not only will I forgive your debt...
00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:41.089
...I will pay you
a standard courier fee of $100,000.
00:12:41.320 --> 00:12:44.369
You're gonna give me 100 grand to move
a smidge across the border?
00:12:45.240 --> 00:12:47.447
Smidge and a half.
It's nothing.
00:12:47.640 --> 00:12:50.644
Dude, I got rolled
by the fucking cast of Annie.
00:12:50.840 --> 00:12:54.401
I come walking in here and you ask me
to be an international drug dealer.
00:12:54.600 --> 00:12:57.888
This is easy money, David.
All you gotta do is pop down to Mexico...
00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:01.527
...go to this address, tell them you're
there to pick up for Pablo Chacon.
00:13:01.720 --> 00:13:03.848
- Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon?
- I am.
00:13:07.080 --> 00:13:10.766
You don't get respect from Mexicans
when your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right?
00:13:10.960 --> 00:13:15.522
I mean, that's white in any language.
See? Big Bad Brad thought of everything.
00:13:18.200 --> 00:13:22.091
I don't know. I don't think so, man.
This is way out of my league.
00:13:22.320 --> 00:13:23.685
It's a federal crime.
00:13:23.880 --> 00:13:27.805
If I try to cross the border with more
than a pound, you're talking like, um...
00:13:28.960 --> 00:13:32.009
Twenty-five years in Mexican prison.
If you get a happy judge.
00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:34.242
Yeah. Jeez. Not good.
00:13:34.440 --> 00:13:36.966
- Although, you're forgetting one thing.
- What?
00:13:37.160 --> 00:13:39.527
You don't have a fucking choice.
00:13:42.680 --> 00:13:45.445
So now you're gonna become
an even bigger drug dealer?
00:13:45.640 --> 00:13:48.007
Drug smuggler, Kenny.
There's a difference.
00:13:51.600 --> 00:13:54.001
You're probably gonna get
searched at the border.
00:13:54.640 --> 00:13:56.722
No offense, you look like a total drug dealer.
00:13:56.920 --> 00:13:59.605
- No shit. Thanks, dude.
- You could wear a disguise.
00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:01.605
- What?
- A disguise.
00:14:01.800 --> 00:14:03.484
That's what I thought. A disguise.
00:14:03.680 --> 00:14:06.684
I dress up. What's the hot
Halloween outfit these days?
00:14:06.880 --> 00:14:09.611
Bane from Batman? Someone like that?
Wear something over my face?
00:14:09.800 --> 00:14:12.565
There's no drugs in here.
You've got nothing to worry about.
00:14:12.760 --> 00:14:13.886
Great idea.
00:14:15.720 --> 00:14:18.326
Hey, pardon me. Hi.
00:14:18.520 --> 00:14:23.162
Hate to bug you, but I'm trying to get
the fam to the zoo and I'm lost as all heck.
00:14:23.360 --> 00:14:24.930
Fuck off, real-life Flanders.
00:14:25.520 --> 00:14:30.242
It's my fault. When it comes to reading maps,
I sure can be an old flibbertigibbet.
00:14:31.960 --> 00:14:33.724
Hey. No parking here, sir.
00:14:33.920 --> 00:14:35.410
Perfect. Fucking tourists.
00:14:35.640 --> 00:14:38.041
Oh, jeez. I'm awful sorry, officer.
00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:40.163
I don't know which way is up around here.
00:14:40.360 --> 00:14:43.011
No problem.
Our city can get confusing sometimes.
00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:44.770
Trying to find our way to the zoo.
00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:48.806
It's two blocks up that way,
take a left, two blocks...
00:14:54.760 --> 00:14:55.841
Holy fucking shit.
00:14:57.760 --> 00:14:59.205
Thank you, dickheads.
00:15:00.320 --> 00:15:03.449
Hey little lady, don't you say maybe
00:15:03.640 --> 00:15:06.530
Rose, the guy at the bar asked for you
by name.
00:15:06.720 --> 00:15:08.131
Treat him nice.
00:15:08.320 --> 00:15:10.561
Baby, I'ma show you how to
00:15:10.800 --> 00:15:11.881
Yeah!
00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:13.969
Hi. I'm Rose.
00:15:14.760 --> 00:15:17.730
- Hi. Hi.
- What--? Oh, please. No.
00:15:17.920 --> 00:15:19.968
- No, Rose. Hey, Rose, Rose.
- No, no, no, no.
00:15:20.160 --> 00:15:22.527
- Please. Listen to me.
- Duh, duh, duh, duh.
00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:24.644
Ch-ch-ch-chuh.
00:15:27.840 --> 00:15:29.330
You asshole.
00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:33.405
Don't worry. You don't have
to get naked and all that stuff.
00:15:34.200 --> 00:15:36.931
- Unless you want to, you know. Oof!
- Mm-hm.
00:15:37.160 --> 00:15:38.400
- Fuck.
- What do you want?
00:15:40.280 --> 00:15:43.523
How would you like to spend 4th of July
weekend making 10 grand?
00:15:43.720 --> 00:15:44.801
- What?
- Rose, listen.
00:15:45.040 --> 00:15:47.725
All I'm asking is that you go to Mexico with me.
00:15:48.360 --> 00:15:51.125
All right? And then we drive home together
in an RV.
00:15:51.320 --> 00:15:52.401
Mm-hm.
00:15:52.600 --> 00:15:55.080
- And that RV has some pot in it.
- Drug dealing?
00:15:55.280 --> 00:15:58.045
No, it's not drug dealing. It's not.
No, it's smuggling.
00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:00.402
- Are you out of your mind?
- Rose, listen to me.
00:16:00.760 --> 00:16:05.322
Now, me crossing the border by myself,
huge red flag. Huge, all right?
00:16:05.560 --> 00:16:07.642
But families,
they don't get a second look.
00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:10.730
So, Rose, I need you to be my wife.
00:16:11.800 --> 00:16:13.882
That is the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:17.641
Look, Rose, 10,000 bucks,
and your flight's already paid for.
00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:19.205
You can't buy me.
00:16:19.400 --> 00:16:22.370
I'm not buying you, all right? I'm renting you.
00:16:22.560 --> 00:16:23.607
Hmm.
00:16:23.880 --> 00:16:25.006
Like Pretty Woman.
00:16:26.200 --> 00:16:28.043
Pretty Woman?
She was a prostitute.
00:16:28.240 --> 00:16:29.924
And I don't trust you.
00:16:34.440 --> 00:16:37.171
- What did she say?
- What the fuck do you think? She said no.
00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:41.331
Cool. So I guess it's just us, then. A little
father and son bonding trip to Mexico.
00:16:41.560 --> 00:16:45.485
Are you kidding? You and me alone
in a van? It'll look like the pervert Olympics.
00:16:45.800 --> 00:16:47.882
No way. Absolutely not.
No, we need a girl.
00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:51.687
And unless you can think of someone
that can leave town tomorrow, I'm fucked.
00:16:53.080 --> 00:16:54.491
I know a girl.
00:16:58.320 --> 00:17:00.288
I don't get it. What's in it for me?
00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:04.690
I'm thinking a roof over your head,
some actual hot food. That'd be good enough.
00:17:04.880 --> 00:17:06.166
I'm thinking 1000.
00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:09.682
Fine, 1000 bucks, but that's it.
00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:14.130
Great. And if we get caught I'll say you
drugged and kidnapped me. Cool?
00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:18.249
Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, that's fine.
But that's it.
00:17:18.800 --> 00:17:20.802
Kenny, meet your new sister.
00:17:21.600 --> 00:17:23.807
This is great. I've always wanted a sister.
00:17:26.440 --> 00:17:29.489
- Get it off me. Get it off! Get off!
- Hey, come on. Let go.
00:17:29.680 --> 00:17:32.411
- Come on. We gotta clean you up.
- What's wrong with you?
00:17:32.600 --> 00:17:35.331
- Don't say that.
- I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable.
00:17:35.520 --> 00:17:36.646
Wild child
00:17:36.840 --> 00:17:38.410
Boner Garage!
00:17:38.600 --> 00:17:41.171
Going all out
Going for broke
00:17:43.400 --> 00:17:45.607
Oh, great. Rose, I'm glad I caught you.
00:17:45.800 --> 00:17:49.043
I wanted to go over a couple
of minor policy changes...
00:17:49.240 --> 00:17:52.050
...that we have here at the club.
- Like what?
00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:55.562
Like, I want you to start having sex
with the customers for money.
00:17:56.440 --> 00:17:59.569
What? That's totally illegal, Todd.
00:17:59.800 --> 00:18:01.290
Come on, what are you gonna do?
00:18:01.480 --> 00:18:06.088
I gotta stay competitive with those
fuckers who opened up across the street.
00:18:06.280 --> 00:18:07.725
You mean the Apple Store?
00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:09.365
Yeah, and they're killing us.
00:18:09.600 --> 00:18:10.806
Oh, God.
00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:13.970
That's it. I can't do it. I quit.
00:18:14.600 --> 00:18:15.886
Did you hear the good news?
00:18:16.080 --> 00:18:18.367
Now we get to fuck the customers
for money.
00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:21.041
- Wha--?
- Boner Garage loves it.
00:18:21.280 --> 00:18:25.365
I'm out of here. I am out of here.
I quit.
00:18:35.560 --> 00:18:36.686
Fuck.
00:18:37.240 --> 00:18:38.366
Fuck.
00:19:01.280 --> 00:19:04.568
So, Casey, I guess it's nice for you
to get your hair cut.
00:19:04.920 --> 00:19:06.285
Being homeless and all--
00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:10.121
I'm not homeless, fucktard. I have a home.
But I left because my parent--
00:19:10.320 --> 00:19:14.564
Shut up, okay? Please. I don't need
to hear your hard-luck backstory right now.
00:19:14.760 --> 00:19:19.368
I rented Precious on Netflix eight months
ago and I still haven't watched the thing.
00:19:19.560 --> 00:19:20.641
Here. You know what?
00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:24.202
Just give me a little peace and quiet
and buy yourself some new clothes.
00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:27.722
You know, the kind of stuff that loved
children wear. Not this garbage.
00:19:27.920 --> 00:19:29.445
All right? Thank you.
00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:30.841
Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop.
00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:34.608
You're fine.
You already like a total dipshit.
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:38.924
Here. You're gonna need it.
You look like Eminem from 8 Mile.
00:19:40.400 --> 00:19:42.528
Go with her.
Make sure she doesn't steal it.
00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:44.609
And stay the fuck out of Hot Topic.
00:19:45.160 --> 00:19:46.400
David Clark?
00:19:47.160 --> 00:19:49.401
Okay, what are we doing today?
00:19:49.600 --> 00:19:52.570
Yeah, I say,
give me something that says:
00:19:52.760 --> 00:19:56.970
"I get up every morning at 5:30
and commute for an hour to a bullshit job...
00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:59.771
...where my boss expects me
to kiss his balls all day...
00:19:59.960 --> 00:20:03.965
...so I can afford to keep my ungrateful
kids decked out in Dora the Explorer shit...
00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:06.162
...and my wife up to her fat ass
in self-help videos...
00:20:06.520 --> 00:20:09.285
...until the day I get the courage
to put a shotgun in my mouth."
00:20:11.800 --> 00:20:13.006
Right here.
00:20:13.920 --> 00:20:15.843
Yeah. That's it. That's the one.
00:20:47.040 --> 00:20:48.201
All right.
00:20:59.800 --> 00:21:01.211
Get a full body check.
00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:21.925
Sorry.
00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:25.808
Hi, you folks have everything you need?
00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:27.406
Oh, you betcha!
00:21:27.600 --> 00:21:31.685
Yeah, we're heading out on a family vacay
here, you know? Off to see grandma, huh?
00:21:32.440 --> 00:21:34.010
Well, you have a lovely family.
00:21:34.200 --> 00:21:37.522
Oh, thank you very much.
Yeah, this is my son, Kenny Miller, right here.
00:21:37.720 --> 00:21:40.041
- And my lovely daughter...
- Casey?
00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:43.369
Casey. Casey Miller, that's right.
And I'm David Miller.
00:21:43.560 --> 00:21:44.607
We're the Millers.
00:21:44.800 --> 00:21:48.646
Yeah, now, you know, I got my hands
full here. Couple of kooky teenagers.
00:21:49.080 --> 00:21:52.641
Yeah, I'm going through all those
typical teenage girl issues like:
00:21:52.840 --> 00:21:55.491
Finals and college applications...
00:21:55.800 --> 00:21:58.007
...and am I gonna get asked to prom.
00:21:58.200 --> 00:22:00.680
Plus, I haven't gotten my period in
two months...
00:22:01.000 --> 00:22:03.924
...which is really weird because
I've mostly just been doing anal.
00:22:05.560 --> 00:22:08.484
Ha-ha-ha! Oh, that's enough.
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:12.731
Well, thank you for your help, "Natalie."
00:22:13.600 --> 00:22:15.250
Take your seats, please.
00:22:17.520 --> 00:22:18.646
You fucking kidding me?
00:22:18.840 --> 00:22:20.808
I'm good. I got it.
Right over here. Thanks.
00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:22.923
Thank you. Sorry.
00:22:23.120 --> 00:22:27.569
- Honey! Hi! You made it!
- Mm-hm. Eat a dick.
00:22:27.760 --> 00:22:29.285
- Sorry, sorry. Okay.
- Mm-mm.
00:22:29.480 --> 00:22:32.768
- Wow, you look really, like--
- Don't. Just don't, all right?
00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:34.207
Hi, Mom.
00:22:34.400 --> 00:22:35.561
- Jesus.
Mm-hm.
00:22:36.200 --> 00:22:37.725
And who's that?
00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:40.730
Well, that's your daughter. Casey.
00:22:41.240 --> 00:22:42.287
Hey.
00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:43.766
Mm-hm.
00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:45.286
I want 30,000 now.
00:22:45.840 --> 00:22:48.127
- No fucking way.
- Okay. Have a safe flight.
00:22:48.320 --> 00:22:52.291
What? No. Okay. Fine!
Fine. Bloodsucker.
00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:56.405
Mm. All right, happy wife,
happy life. Hi, kids!
00:22:57.720 --> 00:22:59.927
- Make room for your mother.
- Okay.
00:23:02.760 --> 00:23:04.364
- Hey!
- Whoa! No, I didn't--!
00:23:04.560 --> 00:23:07.530
What the fuck? Don't you ever think
that you can ever--
00:23:07.720 --> 00:23:10.007
Family meeting. Let's go.
Get in the back. Go.
00:23:10.240 --> 00:23:11.924
- I didn't mean to.
- I don't care.
00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:16.210
- He just hit me in the fucking face.
- Will you march? No one wants to hear--
00:23:18.880 --> 00:23:20.803
What the fuck?! Are you kidding me?
00:23:21.080 --> 00:23:23.447
Oh, come on, relax, Dorothy. Jesus.
00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:26.211
We're not at the border.
Who cares what they think?
00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:29.324
It's about not drawing attention
to ourselves, you little hobo.
00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:31.843
Hey! Don't talk to her like that.
00:23:32.040 --> 00:23:35.044
Rose, relax, okay?
The only thing you need to worry about...
00:23:35.240 --> 00:23:37.971
...is making them think you could
be someone's mother. Okay?
00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:40.561
Are you kidding me?
I can do this shit in my sleep.
00:23:40.760 --> 00:23:42.091
Excuse me.
00:23:44.280 --> 00:23:47.807
Lord, we thank thee for the blessing
of this family vacation.
00:23:48.080 --> 00:23:50.560
May David find his bliss
and bring us home back safely.
00:23:50.760 --> 00:23:53.889
May Kenny and Casey fortify
their sibling bond...
00:23:54.080 --> 00:23:57.209
...over the warm glow
of our devoted hearts.
00:23:57.600 --> 00:24:01.241
And may this entire airplane
find safe passage...
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:03.488
...and a bountiful life.
00:24:04.080 --> 00:24:05.366
Even the Jews.
00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:08.210
- Amen.
- That was a good one.
00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:09.890
That was beautiful.
00:24:10.080 --> 00:24:12.367
- Oh.
- I wish my family was more like that.
00:24:12.560 --> 00:24:14.244
Oh, stop. Don't.
00:24:14.440 --> 00:24:17.887
No, no, no. Come on. Come in here.
Hug it out. Don't you cry.
00:24:18.080 --> 00:24:19.206
Aw, honey.
00:24:20.160 --> 00:24:21.571
Fuck you.
00:24:21.840 --> 00:24:23.604
All better now? Okay.
00:24:23.840 --> 00:24:27.925
Oh, and don't forget you can use Chex Mix
as a surprise casserole topping.
00:24:28.120 --> 00:24:29.929
Adds that real special crunch.
00:24:30.120 --> 00:24:32.009
- Wow, what a great tip.
- Sure!
00:24:32.240 --> 00:24:33.366
Bye-bye.
00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:36.288
Holy shit, where did that come from?
00:24:36.480 --> 00:24:39.324
It's five summers with my Aunt Barb
in Oklahoma.
00:24:39.520 --> 00:24:40.601
That was amazing.
00:24:40.800 --> 00:24:42.564
Calm down. It wasn't that great.
00:24:42.760 --> 00:24:46.321
Ah, goddamn it. Brad said the RV was
supposed to be out here waiting for us.
00:24:46.520 --> 00:24:48.522
Anybody sees a camper, just let me know.
00:24:49.160 --> 00:24:50.207
Whoa.
00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:02.884
What the fuck is this?
00:25:03.080 --> 00:25:04.206
This thing is ridiculous.
00:25:06.120 --> 00:25:07.770
- Can you drive this?
- I don't know.
00:25:07.960 --> 00:25:09.371
How fast does it go?
00:25:41.920 --> 00:25:44.048
Why the hell are you reading that thing?
00:25:46.040 --> 00:25:48.884
Because I like it. It's fun.
00:25:49.080 --> 00:25:50.411
It's informative.
00:25:50.600 --> 00:25:52.523
"It's fun." That's your idea of fun, huh?
00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:55.371
I have a VCR manual from the '90s
you should check out.
00:25:55.560 --> 00:25:58.325
- I think you'd probably enjoy that.
- Fireworks!
00:25:58.520 --> 00:26:00.045
Oh, my god, guys, look!
00:26:00.280 --> 00:26:02.851
Fireworks! Hey! Fireworks!
Pull over! There's fireworks!
00:26:03.080 --> 00:26:04.684
We're not pulling over for fireworks.
00:26:04.880 --> 00:26:07.281
- Oh, oh, stern.
- What? It's Fourth of July weekend.
00:26:07.480 --> 00:26:09.448
Don't be such a grumpy asshole. Pull over!
00:26:09.640 --> 00:26:10.926
No. Absolutely not.
00:26:11.160 --> 00:26:12.764
Oh, come on, I vote fireworks too.
00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:15.970
See? Even this loser wants fireworks.
Fireworks!
00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:18.481
- Fireworks! Fireworks!
- The kids wanna see fireworks.
00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:20.484
Fireworks! Fireworks! Fireworks!
00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:21.846
Okay, enough!
00:26:25.160 --> 00:26:28.767
Enough!
Let's get something straight right now!
00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:30.883
You are not my kids! Okay?
00:26:31.280 --> 00:26:33.647
You are not my wife!
And we are not a family!
00:26:33.840 --> 00:26:35.285
All right? This is a job!
00:26:35.480 --> 00:26:37.005
We are not the Brady Bunch!
00:26:37.240 --> 00:26:39.925
I'm Marky Mark
and y'all are the Funky Bunch!
00:26:40.840 --> 00:26:43.525
- The what?
- I'm the boss. You hear me?
00:26:43.800 --> 00:26:48.647
So cut the shit! Otherwise, I will turn
this RV around immediately!
00:26:48.960 --> 00:26:52.487
And we will drive straight home.
No drugs for anyone!
00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:54.041
This vacation sucks.
00:26:54.240 --> 00:26:55.605
You--
00:26:56.120 --> 00:26:57.645
It is not a vacation!
00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:07.603
There we go. You fucking happy? Come on.
00:27:18.800 --> 00:27:21.201
Here we go. Everybody just be cool. All right?
00:27:22.280 --> 00:27:23.486
Hey there!
00:27:23.680 --> 00:27:26.923
You got the Miller family here,
reporting for leisure, sir.
00:27:27.160 --> 00:27:29.401
We're just heading down
to México way to do a--
00:27:31.280 --> 00:27:35.888
Oh. Okay. Great. Fantastic. All right,
thank you. Take care, now. All right.
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:41.488
Whoo! Did you see that? I told you
this RV would work! We totally blend.
00:27:41.720 --> 00:27:44.405
Congratulations. You just snuck into Mexico.
00:27:50.480 --> 00:27:51.527
What is this?
00:27:51.720 --> 00:27:53.404
- A meth lab?
- It's Mexico, Casey.
00:27:53.600 --> 00:27:55.364
That's a donkey, donkey, donkey.
00:27:55.800 --> 00:27:59.088
- This RV blends right in, David.
- Will you calm down?
00:27:59.400 --> 00:28:02.404
This thing is ginormous.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
00:28:09.240 --> 00:28:11.368
You have arrived at your destination.
00:28:11.560 --> 00:28:13.483
The route guidance is now finished.
00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:15.682
Are you sure these guys are expecting you?
00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:17.604
Rose, we're good. All right?
00:28:17.840 --> 00:28:21.162
Now will you calm down? These are
Brad's guys. Nothing to worry about.
00:28:21.360 --> 00:28:22.964
Open Sesame. Here we go.
00:28:23.520 --> 00:28:24.726
Hey!
00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:27.408
Hey, I think that guy was in La Bamba.
00:28:28.280 --> 00:28:31.124
Is that a little football over there?
That's fun. Soccer.
00:28:31.320 --> 00:28:32.845
Kids are a good sign, I guess.
00:28:37.080 --> 00:28:40.641
- Hey there.
- What is this place?
00:28:40.840 --> 00:28:43.969
Will you look at this?
It's a cute little drug-dealing community.
00:28:44.200 --> 00:28:45.804
They probably sell churros.
00:28:46.840 --> 00:28:48.490
Will you relax?
00:28:48.680 --> 00:28:50.842
It's fine. We're totally fine.
00:28:51.120 --> 00:28:55.250
I'll run in, pick up a duffel bag, a suitcase
or something and we'll be on our way.
00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:59.001
Hi. Now come on.
See, it's the welcome wagon.
00:28:59.200 --> 00:29:00.440
Let me go talk to this guy.
00:29:01.400 --> 00:29:05.121
Hola. Hola, big man, me llamo David.
00:29:05.320 --> 00:29:07.641
Yeah, I'm here to pick up for Brad Gurdlinger.
00:29:09.720 --> 00:29:10.846
- Oh.
- He's got a gun.
00:29:11.040 --> 00:29:13.247
- Oh, God.
- Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey!
00:29:13.480 --> 00:29:16.927
- Oh, God.
- Palo Hacon! Palo Hacon!
00:29:17.120 --> 00:29:18.485
Pablo Chacon?
00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:23.406
Pablo Chacon. I'm here to pick up
for Pablo Chacon.
00:29:23.600 --> 00:29:25.921
You are the White Gringo
with the haircut of a donkey.
00:29:26.120 --> 00:29:27.929
Uh, yeah. Si.
00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:31.721
Yeah. Yeah, mucho white-o.
Very, very gringo. Yeah.
00:29:31.920 --> 00:29:35.766
- Who are they?
- Um, that's my "family."
00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:38.162
You know, uh, mi familia.
00:29:38.360 --> 00:29:41.409
You know, helping me out here
with the deal. Yeah.
00:29:43.840 --> 00:29:45.205
Yeah.
00:29:45.400 --> 00:29:47.846
Yeah. I know, I can't believe it either.
00:29:49.280 --> 00:29:50.884
Do you see his eye? Jesus Christ.
00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:54.689
Come! Drugs now.
00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:56.689
- Okay, great.
- What?
00:29:56.880 --> 00:29:58.530
That's great. Let's do it. Okay.
00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:03.607
All right, big fella, where's the smidge
of weed everyone's talking about?
00:30:15.320 --> 00:30:18.085
- This is a little more than a smidge.
- Oh, dear.
00:30:18.280 --> 00:30:19.964
Calm down. Okay?
We're gonna be fine.
00:30:20.160 --> 00:30:21.571
Oh, yeah, sure, right.
00:30:21.760 --> 00:30:24.684
All we're doing is smuggling
two metric tons of marijuana...
00:30:24.920 --> 00:30:28.208
...across an international border
in a rented motor home!
00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:31.451
I don't see what could possibly go wrong!
Ugh!
00:30:33.040 --> 00:30:35.850
Okay, uh, I'm gonna
make a phone call real quick.
00:30:36.320 --> 00:30:38.607
Kenny, watch the pot.
00:30:44.760 --> 00:30:45.921
It's a great place.
00:30:46.440 --> 00:30:47.851
Fuck you.
00:30:59.000 --> 00:31:00.445
Hey. Buddy.
00:31:00.600 --> 00:31:04.241
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
I'm like an amazing sculptor.
00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:07.006
- What are you talking about?
- I've been working all day.
00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:11.609
It's an orca and he's breaching
and I'm balls deep in his blow hole.
00:31:11.800 --> 00:31:12.847
What the fuck?
00:31:13.040 --> 00:31:14.087
Uh-oh, something wrong?
00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:16.891
Yeah! Something's wrong.
Something's very, very wrong. Okay?
00:31:17.040 --> 00:31:18.371
You said "a smidge of pot."
00:31:18.560 --> 00:31:20.130
This is not a smidge.
00:31:20.280 --> 00:31:21.770
- Smidge and a half? No?
- No.
00:31:21.920 --> 00:31:25.129
You got me moving enough weed
to kill Willie-fucking-Nelson, man!
00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:30.324
Okay? They're using a goddamn bucket
brigade to put it on the RV as we speak!
00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:34.201
You walked in, told them you were picking up
for Pablo Chacon and they were like:
00:31:34.600 --> 00:31:36.170
-"No problem!"
- Wait a minute.
00:31:36.320 --> 00:31:39.403
Why do you sound surprised?
You told them we were coming, right?
00:31:39.560 --> 00:31:40.607
Relax!
00:31:40.760 --> 00:31:44.810
Everything's gonna be fine, man. I greased
the guard in lane one at the border.
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:47.731
He'll let you breeze through,
I'll see you in the morning!
00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:49.251
I'll even buy you brunch.
00:31:49.520 --> 00:31:51.284
Can I change the subject for a second?
00:31:51.440 --> 00:31:53.283
If you get back and see the sculpture...
00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:56.603
...you're gonna look at it and be like,
"Whoa, those balls are huge."
00:31:56.760 --> 00:31:59.445
The balls are the only part
that are not anatomically correct.
00:31:59.640 --> 00:32:01.130
Everything else is perfect.
00:32:01.280 --> 00:32:05.444
But I made the balls a little larger
as a tribute to my manhood.
00:32:05.600 --> 00:32:06.761
Fuck you, Brad.
00:32:06.920 --> 00:32:08.888
That's the David I love!
00:32:09.040 --> 00:32:11.611
Fuck you too! Come on, let's do this!
00:32:11.760 --> 00:32:13.603
Ha, ha! I'll see you soon,
my little drug mule!
00:32:13.760 --> 00:32:15.250
Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw--
00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:17.721
Shit!
00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:24.721
Oh, no. Thank you. I'm good.
00:32:26.400 --> 00:32:27.845
You reject my mother's gift?
00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:31.931
I mean, I don't know
whether I'd put it in those terms.
00:32:32.120 --> 00:32:34.122
- Shut up and take the fruit.
- Right. Got it.
00:32:34.320 --> 00:32:35.446
Thank you, ma'am.
00:32:35.680 --> 00:32:37.489
- You wanna get us killed?
- What?
00:32:38.240 --> 00:32:39.401
Namaste.
00:32:47.800 --> 00:32:48.881
Whoa.
00:32:49.080 --> 00:32:51.287
I think Snoop Dogg would
fuck this fridge.
00:32:51.520 --> 00:32:52.851
At least it keeps it fresh.
00:32:53.800 --> 00:32:57.441
Well, as long as no one sets foot
inside the RV...
00:32:57.640 --> 00:33:00.484
...looks through a window,
or weighs us...
00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:04.171
...we should be pretty good.
- We'll be fine.
00:33:04.680 --> 00:33:06.250
We're totally fucked.
00:33:23.640 --> 00:33:25.369
Aw, shit. What the hell is this?
00:33:25.600 --> 00:33:28.080
- What's it look like? It's a cop, genius.
- Be cool.
00:33:28.280 --> 00:33:31.887
- Remember we're the Millers. Okay.
- Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool.
00:33:33.120 --> 00:33:35.487
- Oh. Buenos dias, officer.
- Hola.
00:33:35.680 --> 00:33:38.445
I'm sorry if we were violating
some of your traffic laws.
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:41.883
You see, the family and I got into
a heated game of road bingo and--
00:33:42.120 --> 00:33:44.122
- Cut the shit.
- I'm sorry?
00:33:44.320 --> 00:33:46.846
I saw you leaving
Pablo Chacon's compound.
00:33:47.080 --> 00:33:50.084
And we both know if I search
your mobile home, what I'd find.
00:33:50.280 --> 00:33:52.282
Much prison time for such things.
00:33:52.480 --> 00:33:53.811
Yeah. Yeah.
00:33:54.240 --> 00:33:56.242
But I don't feel like arresting anybody...
00:33:56.440 --> 00:33:59.762
...so I'll just simply take my bribe
and I'll be on my way.
00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:04.083
Well, all right. Ha, ha.
00:34:04.560 --> 00:34:07.769
This is what I'm talking about.
Great! How much we talking? 100? 200?
00:34:07.960 --> 00:34:10.201
- One thousand.
- A thousand?
00:34:10.440 --> 00:34:13.125
- Mm-hm.
- What, are you buying a house down here?
00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:17.925
It's a lot. Um, we don't have
that sort of cash on us right now.
00:34:20.160 --> 00:34:22.003
You see, that's gonna be a problem.
00:34:22.240 --> 00:34:23.366
Yeah, yeah.
00:34:23.560 --> 00:34:26.928
Maybe you can offer me
something else. Say, uh...
00:34:28.200 --> 00:34:30.328
...something a little more personal?
00:34:32.080 --> 00:34:34.401
- Oh.
- Oh.
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:38.127
I gotcha. Rose, suck his dick.
00:34:39.440 --> 00:34:41.442
Fuck you, I'm not sucking anything.
00:34:41.680 --> 00:34:43.409
Come on. Will you be a team player?
00:34:43.640 --> 00:34:46.246
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Will you stop being selfish?
00:34:46.440 --> 00:34:48.761
Please, please, señora.
No need to be alarmed.
00:34:49.480 --> 00:34:54.247
See, I'm, how you say, a man who
prefers the company of other men.
00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:56.889
- Oh.
- Oh.
00:34:58.360 --> 00:35:00.727
- David, suck his dick.
- Rose.
00:35:00.920 --> 00:35:03.446
Five seconds tops. Just cradle the balls.
00:35:03.640 --> 00:35:05.005
Mm.
00:35:05.240 --> 00:35:08.244
Come on, David. Be a team player.
You're gonna have fun.
00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:11.650
Um...
00:35:12.280 --> 00:35:15.045
Okay. Kenny! Front and center, buddy.
00:35:15.240 --> 00:35:16.890
Uh...
00:35:17.080 --> 00:35:18.320
Okay, so what's the plan?
00:35:18.520 --> 00:35:21.330
Go up there and pretend to
and then you're gonna jump him?
00:35:21.520 --> 00:35:22.806
The plan is, um...
00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:24.240
Here. Come here, come here.
00:35:24.640 --> 00:35:27.689
Okay, um, let's see.
You, you're this bottle cap.
00:35:27.880 --> 00:35:30.690
Right? And I am this cigarette butt.
00:35:30.880 --> 00:35:34.601
Okay, that's us. All right? Okay?
He's over there, right by this, that bush.
00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:36.006
We'll make him the pebble.
00:35:36.200 --> 00:35:39.886
You will go and meet him behind
the bush right over there.
00:35:40.080 --> 00:35:42.128
You suck his dick,
and we get outta here.
00:35:42.360 --> 00:35:44.840
- Okay? Bring it in, on three.
- What?! No!
00:35:45.040 --> 00:35:46.724
What do you mean no? What's wrong?
00:35:46.920 --> 00:35:49.605
- Well, I'm not gay.
- Are you sure?
00:35:50.680 --> 00:35:52.682
I mean, you never really know
until you know.
00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:55.287
- No. I'm not gay.
- Okay. All right. Calm down.
00:35:55.480 --> 00:35:59.485
Look, this gay panic situation you're having
now, it's coming off a little homophobic.
00:36:00.080 --> 00:36:02.401
What, because I don't want
a penis in my mouth?
00:36:02.600 --> 00:36:05.046
Exactly. It's exactly
what homophobic means.
00:36:05.240 --> 00:36:08.847
Look, you go over there, you just,
you know, you pretend it's a girl's dick.
00:36:09.240 --> 00:36:10.605
Any girl's dick you want.
00:36:10.800 --> 00:36:13.565
- I'm not sure I agree with that logic.
- Look, listen to me.
00:36:14.520 --> 00:36:17.171
- What is he saying to him?
- I have no idea.
00:36:17.400 --> 00:36:19.402
All right? Just listen to me. All right?
00:36:19.600 --> 00:36:20.726
Come on, man.
00:36:20.920 --> 00:36:23.321
This is your chance to be the hero.
00:36:24.640 --> 00:36:26.847
- I don't know, David.
- Don't do it for me.
00:36:27.040 --> 00:36:30.442
Don't even do it for you.
Do it for the girls. For Rose and Casey.
00:36:30.640 --> 00:36:33.689
Because, believe me, they won't last
two days in a Mexican prison.
00:36:36.240 --> 00:36:37.844
- Okay.
- Attaboy!
00:36:39.080 --> 00:36:41.128
- I'll do it for the girls.
- I'm proud of you.
00:36:42.040 --> 00:36:44.088
Hey. What's going on?
00:36:44.280 --> 00:36:46.851
Somebody sucking my dick,
or am I getting 1000 pesos?
00:36:47.040 --> 00:36:48.610
No, he's gonna w--
00:36:49.360 --> 00:36:51.806
- "Pesos"? Why didn't you say so?
- Mm-hm. A thousand.
00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:55.083
Oh, well, that's like, what, 80 bucks
American?
00:36:55.280 --> 00:36:57.601
Here. Here you go.
A hundred. Keep the change.
00:37:04.840 --> 00:37:08.049
Can't believe you were gonna suck
that guy's dick. Come on, let's go.
00:37:19.400 --> 00:37:22.688
All vehicles, please proceed
slowly in assigned lanes...
00:37:22.920 --> 00:37:24.649
...and prepare for vehicle inspection.
00:37:27.680 --> 00:37:29.011
Okay, here we go. This is it.
00:37:29.200 --> 00:37:30.645
Kenny, grab the hats. Hurry.
00:37:31.120 --> 00:37:33.646
You said the guard was just
gonna wave us through.
00:37:33.840 --> 00:37:37.242
He will. But let's look the part so
the others don't get suspicious.
00:37:44.240 --> 00:37:45.730
What the fuck does this guy want?
00:37:45.920 --> 00:37:47.649
I don't know. But he's honking.
00:37:48.440 --> 00:37:50.920
- Hi!
- Just ignore them.
00:37:51.320 --> 00:37:55.689
Okay, he's really honking and it's making a
huge scene. I think he just wants to say hi.
00:37:55.960 --> 00:37:57.450
Oh, my God. I don't wanna say hi.
00:37:57.640 --> 00:37:59.927
They're just waving. If we just wave,
he'll stop.
00:38:00.120 --> 00:38:01.849
Fine. I'll say hi. Fine.
00:38:02.640 --> 00:38:03.687
- Hi!
- Hi!
00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:06.969
Howdy-doody! Quite a rig you got there,
amigo.
00:38:07.160 --> 00:38:11.290
That is quite a rig
you guys have there too.
00:38:11.480 --> 00:38:13.960
Well, thank you very kindly.
We do love her.
00:38:14.160 --> 00:38:17.323
We don't take her out as often as
we used to when our girl was small.
00:38:17.680 --> 00:38:22.288
It can be such a bear to carve out quality
family time but you gotta do it, don't you?
00:38:22.640 --> 00:38:24.608
Yeah, David and Rose Miller here.
00:38:24.800 --> 00:38:25.926
Oh.
00:38:26.120 --> 00:38:29.806
This is my daughter, Casey, right here.
And my son, Kenny.
00:38:30.640 --> 00:38:33.371
- How handsome.
- Pleased to make your acquaintance.
00:38:33.560 --> 00:38:36.245
Don Fitzgerald,
my smoldering wife, Edith...
00:38:36.440 --> 00:38:38.249
...and our daughter. Say hi, Melissa.
00:38:49.200 --> 00:38:51.043
- Lane one, please pull forward.
- Oh.
00:38:51.240 --> 00:38:53.686
Sir. Sir, please pull forward.
00:38:56.920 --> 00:38:58.206
I got a joint here.
00:38:59.240 --> 00:39:01.322
- Shut down lane one.
- it's medicinal.
00:39:01.560 --> 00:39:03.005
- What'd he say?
- He has a joint.
00:39:03.200 --> 00:39:04.645
That's it?
00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:08.887
- Hide it.
- Okay.
00:39:09.080 --> 00:39:10.844
Get rid of it! Oh, my God!
00:39:11.040 --> 00:39:12.485
Holy shit.
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:14.843
- Oh, that was so close.
- You have a baby!
00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:18.011
- Oh, I love babies!
- Oh.
00:39:18.200 --> 00:39:20.771
Oh, look at that gorgeous
little bundle of joy!
00:39:21.000 --> 00:39:23.128
What's that beautiful little baby's name?
00:39:23.880 --> 00:39:27.043
- This is our little--
- LeBron.
00:39:27.360 --> 00:39:29.010
- Name's LeBron.
- Yup.
00:39:29.200 --> 00:39:31.487
- Oh.
- A little French fella.
00:39:31.720 --> 00:39:32.767
It's our little LeBron.
00:39:32.960 --> 00:39:36.407
I was against the name at first, but
the missus has a real soft spot...
00:39:36.640 --> 00:39:38.688
...for prima donnas who'll never
be as good as Jordan.
00:39:38.880 --> 00:39:40.405
I can't see the face.
00:39:41.080 --> 00:39:45.005
- I'm dying to see his face.
- Sir, pull forward to lane two.
00:39:45.360 --> 00:39:48.489
- Oh, fuck! Okay, put on the hats.
- You gotta pull over.
00:39:48.680 --> 00:39:51.081
- Here we go.
- Great.
00:39:52.600 --> 00:39:55.331
- My God, I feel like a fucking idiot.
- That's the idea.
00:39:55.520 --> 00:39:59.889
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Everybody smile
and follow my lead, all right?
00:40:00.120 --> 00:40:03.010
I'm gonna take us to the promised land.
Here we go. Here we go.
00:40:05.120 --> 00:40:06.485
Steady.
00:40:07.120 --> 00:40:09.202
- Steady.
- Shit.
00:40:15.480 --> 00:40:17.289
Shh. Shh, shh. I got this one.
00:40:17.480 --> 00:40:22.646
Okay. Everybody just smile. Everybody
be cool. Here we go. Follow my lead. Ahem.
00:40:24.520 --> 00:40:26.921
You bringing anything
into the United States, sir?
00:40:27.120 --> 00:40:28.360
Yuh--
00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:31.571
Sir, are you bringing any contraband
back into the United States?
00:40:31.760 --> 00:40:32.807
Um...
00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:34.240
- Sir?
- David!
00:40:38.760 --> 00:40:41.525
Folks, I need you to pull over and exit the
vehicle, please.
00:40:42.560 --> 00:40:44.847
- But. . ..
- Sir, is that actually necessary?
00:40:45.080 --> 00:40:47.208
I mean, these kids
are pooped and we've just--
00:40:47.400 --> 00:40:50.290
I need everybody out of this
recreational vehicle immediately.
00:40:50.480 --> 00:40:53.131
- I'l just put the baby down.
- We'll put the baby away.
00:40:53.320 --> 00:40:58.406
Bring the child, pull over to the secondary
inspection area and exit the vehicle now!
00:40:59.440 --> 00:41:00.965
- Okay.
- Good.
00:41:04.600 --> 00:41:05.840
It's okay. It's all right.
00:41:06.080 --> 00:41:07.923
It's okay, baby.
It's just a puppy.
00:41:08.720 --> 00:41:09.960
Stand down.
00:41:11.040 --> 00:41:13.042
All right. It's okay.
00:41:14.040 --> 00:41:17.601
Before I search the vehicle, is there
anything you wanna tell me about?
00:41:17.800 --> 00:41:19.370
Because after I open that door...
00:41:20.200 --> 00:41:21.440
...I can't help you.
00:41:27.240 --> 00:41:30.722
Last chance. I'm gonna search this vehicle
top to bottom.
00:41:31.440 --> 00:41:32.487
All right.
00:41:35.520 --> 00:41:36.681
We got runners!
00:41:41.920 --> 00:41:43.684
We got runners!
00:41:44.400 --> 00:41:47.165
Sorry to inconvenience you, folks.
This happens a lot.
00:41:47.360 --> 00:41:48.771
You have a nice day.
00:41:54.320 --> 00:41:56.448
Go. Go, go!
00:42:12.920 --> 00:42:14.968
Ah. Well, that was fucking easy!
00:42:16.520 --> 00:42:18.010
- Oh, my God.
- God!
00:42:18.200 --> 00:42:19.247
Whoo! We did it!
00:42:19.520 --> 00:42:23.002
Nicely done, Millers! Give it up!
Very good job. Here you go.
00:42:23.200 --> 00:42:25.806
Rose! Yeah! David! There you go!
00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:30.483
We are all officially international drug
smugglers. Add it to the resume.
00:42:30.680 --> 00:42:33.524
Ha, ha.
How about a little victory music, huh?
00:42:37.840 --> 00:42:38.921
Oh, no, no, no.
00:42:39.120 --> 00:42:41.407
- Don't change it. I love this song.
- Me too.
00:42:41.600 --> 00:42:44.126
What? I didn't even like this song
when it was popular.
00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:45.731
Come on, loosen up, David.
00:42:48.200 --> 00:42:50.407
Please stick to the rivers
00:42:50.600 --> 00:42:52.762
And the lakes that you're used to
00:42:53.000 --> 00:42:54.047
Don't do this.
00:42:54.240 --> 00:42:57.608
What? This isn't even
a good victory song.
00:42:57.840 --> 00:42:59.842
No, stop. We are not doing this.
00:43:00.040 --> 00:43:03.169
This is embarrassing. Stop.
00:43:04.440 --> 00:43:05.726
Ah, come on.
00:43:06.800 --> 00:43:10.009
I seen a rainbow yesterday
But too many storms have come and gone
00:43:10.200 --> 00:43:12.407
Leavin' a trace of not one God-given ray
Is it because my life is 10 shades of gray
00:43:12.600 --> 00:43:13.647
What the fuck?
00:43:14.520 --> 00:43:17.603
I pray all 10 fade away
Seldom praise him for the sunny days
00:43:17.800 --> 00:43:19.689
You claim the insane
And name this place in time
00:43:19.880 --> 00:43:23.282
For fallin' prey to crime, I swear
The system got you victim to your own mind
00:43:23.480 --> 00:43:26.484
Dreams are hopeless aspirations
In hopes of comin' true
00:43:26.680 --> 00:43:28.728
Believe in yourself
The rest is up to me and
00:43:28.920 --> 00:43:31.651
Don't go chasin' waterfalls
00:43:31.840 --> 00:43:34.286
- Whoo!
- Whoo, yeah, Kenny!
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:36.050
Where did you learn to do that?
00:43:36.240 --> 00:43:37.685
Yeah, whatever.
00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:02.847
Señor Chacon.
00:44:04.800 --> 00:44:06.529
We were not expecting you.
00:44:06.720 --> 00:44:10.645
I decided to bring the gringo myself
to make sure everything goes as planned.
00:44:10.840 --> 00:44:14.925
But the gringo has already left with the
shipment, señor.
00:44:15.200 --> 00:44:16.281
What gringo?
00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:18.448
The gringo with the haircut of a donkey.
00:44:19.360 --> 00:44:21.727
You mean this gringo
with the haircut of a donkey.
00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:24.000
I have failed you, señor.
00:44:24.200 --> 00:44:26.726
If you saw this gringo again would you
recognize him?
00:44:27.080 --> 00:44:29.924
He was driving an RV with his family.
00:44:30.280 --> 00:44:31.691
Get in the car.
00:44:53.720 --> 00:44:55.688
Oh, how fast are you going?
00:44:56.640 --> 00:44:59.564
Calm down, I'm going the speed limit.
We won't get pulled over.
00:44:59.800 --> 00:45:03.600
No, no. I mean, loaded down like this
in a 15-ton vehicle...
00:45:03.840 --> 00:45:06.161
...going up a 10 percent grade.
00:45:06.760 --> 00:45:10.890
Just use your head, David.
I don't think you think things through.
00:45:11.080 --> 00:45:14.562
- What?
- Weight distribution loading and towing.
00:45:14.760 --> 00:45:15.921
- See?
- Yeah, I do.
00:45:16.120 --> 00:45:17.451
I thought this plan through.
00:45:17.640 --> 00:45:19.881
- Seems to be working out.
- Oh, great.
00:45:22.040 --> 00:45:23.485
Oh, Shit!
00:45:25.760 --> 00:45:27.524
Seriously. God...!
00:45:35.120 --> 00:45:37.088
Was this part of your plan, David?
00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:38.361
Damn it.
00:45:38.760 --> 00:45:41.570
- Wait, what are we gonna do now?
- I don't kno--
00:45:41.800 --> 00:45:43.040
I can't even get a signal.
00:45:43.840 --> 00:45:46.491
No shit. We're in the fucking middle of
nowhere, dude.
00:45:46.720 --> 00:45:48.370
Oh, gee, thank you, Casey.
00:45:48.560 --> 00:45:51.166
Thank you for your amazing problem
solving skills. So helpful.
00:45:51.360 --> 00:45:52.646
Whoa. Hey, what are you doing?
00:45:52.840 --> 00:45:56.287
I'm not gonna stand on the side of the
road next to an RV filled with pot.
00:45:56.520 --> 00:45:57.806
I'm gonna try to find help.
00:45:58.000 --> 00:46:01.163
- Yeah, fuck this. I'm going with her. Bye.
- What?
00:46:01.400 --> 00:46:04.006
- Wait up!
- Ugh. Ridiculous!
00:46:04.640 --> 00:46:08.247
Okay. Actually, that's fine. Good idea. Okay,
hurry back though, please.
00:46:08.440 --> 00:46:11.887
"Oh, I have a plan." Really? Good plan.
You don't have any plans.
00:46:14.520 --> 00:46:15.806
Women, am I right?
00:46:16.880 --> 00:46:18.530
Shut the fuck up, Kenny.
00:46:20.760 --> 00:46:24.401
And he's so smug. Ugh.
He drives me crazy.
00:46:24.600 --> 00:46:25.931
Well, yeah, he's an idiot.
00:46:26.120 --> 00:46:28.487
No, he's not an idiot.
He's actually kind of smart.
00:46:28.720 --> 00:46:29.926
Why are you defending him?
00:46:30.120 --> 00:46:32.327
I'm not defending him.
I'm just saying that he--
00:46:32.520 --> 00:46:36.286
Have you seen where we are?
This whole plan is so stupid.
00:46:36.520 --> 00:46:37.646
Oh, really?
00:46:37.840 --> 00:46:41.128
What golden advice did you follow that
ended with you on the streets?
00:46:41.360 --> 00:46:44.648
I don't live on the streets, okay?
I crash with friends.
00:46:44.840 --> 00:46:46.922
Ah. Okay. I see.
00:46:47.120 --> 00:46:49.885
So you were kind of between
couches when David and Kenny found you.
00:46:50.080 --> 00:46:52.242
Are you gonna lecture me?
Seriously, I'll puke.
00:46:52.440 --> 00:46:54.169
You know what, I'm not lecturing you.
00:46:54.360 --> 00:46:57.011
Okay, good. Because I don't
need advice from a stripper.
00:46:57.200 --> 00:46:58.770
All right, you know what you little shit?
I swear--
00:47:00.360 --> 00:47:01.771
What the hell is this?
00:47:03.160 --> 00:47:05.970
Well, look at this
cute little couple of hitchhikers.
00:47:06.160 --> 00:47:07.571
We're here to save your bacon.
00:47:07.800 --> 00:47:10.246
Saddle up, little ladies. Ha-ha-ha!
00:47:10.440 --> 00:47:12.442
Hey. Hi, what's going on?
00:47:12.680 --> 00:47:16.241
They pulled up right after you guys left.
They're gonna tow us to a mechanic.
00:47:16.440 --> 00:47:18.363
They keeping asking to hold
the weed baby.
00:47:18.600 --> 00:47:20.921
All right, all right, calm down. Okay.
00:47:21.120 --> 00:47:24.602
Just calm down, all right? I got this.
Watch.
00:47:25.600 --> 00:47:27.443
I'm holding that baby.
00:47:27.640 --> 00:47:30.769
Edie, you will, I promise,
but it's nap time for LeBron.
00:47:30.960 --> 00:47:32.041
Come on, guys, let's go.
00:47:32.280 --> 00:47:35.409
All aboard the Fitzgerald Express.
Honk, honk!
00:47:35.600 --> 00:47:38.080
Ha-ha-ha!
- Toot, toot!
00:47:39.120 --> 00:47:41.566
It's like we're pretending it's a train,
but it's not.
00:47:49.040 --> 00:47:50.530
- Surrounded by goblins.
- Okay.
00:47:50.760 --> 00:47:51.966
Oh, oh, oh!
00:47:52.160 --> 00:47:54.766
One more sec, okay? Hold on,
one second. Don't freak.
00:47:54.960 --> 00:47:56.644
When you're a synchronized swimmer...
00:47:56.840 --> 00:47:59.081
...you can't use a maxi pad,
you can see it.
00:47:59.280 --> 00:48:01.123
So my friend bought me a box of tampins.
00:48:01.320 --> 00:48:03.846
And I'll tell you, I had
a hard time inserting those.
00:48:04.040 --> 00:48:06.122
- It would just stick halfway out.
Mm-hm.
00:48:06.360 --> 00:48:08.124
- It was just like a Roman candle.
Mm-hm.
00:48:08.440 --> 00:48:11.569
And that is how I found out
I was born with a shallow vagina.
00:48:13.360 --> 00:48:17.570
- That was such a detailed story, Edie.
- Thank you!
00:48:17.760 --> 00:48:22.448
You gotta do a one-woman show.
It's, like, so many layers, you know?
00:48:23.480 --> 00:48:25.687
So, what's your story, David?
00:48:25.920 --> 00:48:27.729
- What do you mean?
- How'd you two meet?
00:48:27.960 --> 00:48:30.486
Ah! Honey, tell her.
00:48:30.680 --> 00:48:33.251
And don't leave out
any of the romantic parts.
00:48:33.600 --> 00:48:34.931
Okay. All right.
00:48:35.120 --> 00:48:37.248
Where did we first meet. Um...
00:48:37.440 --> 00:48:38.805
It's great.
00:48:39.000 --> 00:48:42.641
Well, that would have been when Rose
moved into my apartment building.
00:48:42.840 --> 00:48:44.683
- Ah. That's right.
Mm-hm.
00:48:46.280 --> 00:48:49.443
I remember watching her through the
crack in my door as she was--
00:48:49.640 --> 00:48:50.926
Wait, you were spying on me?
00:48:51.120 --> 00:48:53.885
Now, hon, just because you've heard it
a thousand times...
00:48:54.080 --> 00:48:56.287
...doesn't mean you should interrupt.
Don't be rude.
00:48:56.840 --> 00:48:59.002
All right. Proceed.
00:48:59.840 --> 00:49:01.410
But, yeah, I was spying on her.
00:49:01.600 --> 00:49:03.967
She was unloading this U-Haul
all by herself.
00:49:04.400 --> 00:49:08.485
I wanna go help her, but I don't wanna
come off like I'm hitting on her, because...
00:49:09.080 --> 00:49:11.924
...you know, I'd like to hit on her
maybe at some point.
00:49:13.120 --> 00:49:15.282
And, uh...
00:49:15.480 --> 00:49:20.884
...she was wearing these little navy
blue Chuck Taylors and these jean shorts.
00:49:21.080 --> 00:49:23.606
No pockets on the back,
however that happened.
00:49:23.800 --> 00:49:27.043
And this, uh, Tom Waits T-shirt.
00:49:27.240 --> 00:49:28.969
I was like, "Oh, that's cool."
00:49:29.160 --> 00:49:30.685
Because I love Tom Waits.
00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:32.803
And she just looked beautiful.
00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:40.002
If you're into that kind of mean,
pretty thing.
00:49:42.560 --> 00:49:43.607
So, anyway, uh...
00:49:43.800 --> 00:49:48.488
...she starts to bring up this really big
weird-looking painting up the stairs.
00:49:48.680 --> 00:49:52.526
And I'm like, "Okay, here's my shot."
All right, so I go outside...
00:49:52.720 --> 00:49:56.042
...and I help her with it.
I'm trying to, at least.
00:49:56.240 --> 00:49:57.969
She looks at me and goes:
"Stop it!"
00:49:58.160 --> 00:50:00.527
- She just snaps at me.
- You started yanking at it.
00:50:00.760 --> 00:50:02.683
Next thing you know, it's a tug of war...
00:50:02.880 --> 00:50:05.087
...pulling it back
and forth and out of nowhere--
00:50:05.280 --> 00:50:08.443
His fat fist
goes right through the canvas.
00:50:08.640 --> 00:50:11.803
- But it was an accident.
- Doesn't matter! You ruined my painting.
00:50:12.000 --> 00:50:14.924
Okay. Honestly, I really think
you should've thanked me.
00:50:15.120 --> 00:50:17.202
Yeah, because that painting
was hideous.
00:50:18.760 --> 00:50:21.331
My grandfather painted that painting.
00:50:21.520 --> 00:50:24.330
And it was my favorite thing
in the entire world.
00:50:25.720 --> 00:50:28.690
So we get in this screaming
match in front of the whole building.
00:50:28.920 --> 00:50:31.207
And everybody comes out
and is watching it.
00:50:31.480 --> 00:50:33.608
I mean, from that moment,
we hated each other.
00:50:33.840 --> 00:50:35.285
Oh, man.
00:50:36.600 --> 00:50:40.366
- And then you fell in love. Oh!
- Yeah. Then we fell in love.
00:50:40.560 --> 00:50:44.610
- Ha, ha!
- Hey, now. I think this is our exit.
00:50:44.800 --> 00:50:47.280
David, could you grab me the map
out of the glove box?
00:50:47.800 --> 00:50:49.131
Yes, sir.
00:50:49.880 --> 00:50:52.611
- Whoa. Whoa. Uh...
- Whoa!
00:50:52.800 --> 00:50:55.770
Oh, hey, sorry about that, buddy.
Didn't mean to scare you there.
00:50:55.960 --> 00:50:57.803
That's just my service pistol and badge.
00:50:58.000 --> 00:51:00.082
Oh. Your badge.
00:51:00.680 --> 00:51:03.126
- Are you a cop?
- No, no, no.
00:51:03.320 --> 00:51:04.970
No? Oh, God.
00:51:06.080 --> 00:51:07.286
- I'm in the DEA.
- Oh.
00:51:13.240 --> 00:51:16.130
Yeah, my Don has been an agent for the
last 22 years.
00:51:16.320 --> 00:51:18.004
On a bit of a hiatus at the moment.
00:51:18.200 --> 00:51:21.090
They took him out of the field,
he wasn't aggressive enough.
00:51:21.280 --> 00:51:23.487
- That's enough.
- I'm sorry. It's not right, Don.
00:51:23.720 --> 00:51:26.769
Those young guns aren't half the
agent you are, those crumb-bums.
00:51:26.960 --> 00:51:29.486
Edith, you know how I feel
about your cussing.
00:51:29.680 --> 00:51:32.889
- I'm sorry, Don.
- Edith can be a little hot-blooded at times.
00:51:33.080 --> 00:51:35.890
- I'm 1/8 Italian, so...
- Oh. It's okay.
00:51:37.040 --> 00:51:40.840
Uh, hey, if you guys will excuse me.
00:51:41.040 --> 00:51:42.849
- Wanna join me?
- Where are you off to?
00:51:43.040 --> 00:51:45.361
- We're gonna check on the baby.
- Gonna take a dump.
00:51:45.560 --> 00:51:47.927
- Check the baby's dumps.
- That's what we should say.
00:51:48.160 --> 00:51:51.209
- Yeah, just go check on Lebanon.
- LeBron. His name's LeBron.
00:51:51.400 --> 00:51:55.007
He just has a terrible tummy.
And it's just bad diarrhea stuff.
00:51:55.200 --> 00:51:56.531
Do we still have cornstarch?
00:51:56.720 --> 00:51:58.961
Yeah, there's cornstarch for his bottom.
00:51:59.160 --> 00:52:00.844
- Family meeting.
- Yep.
00:52:01.840 --> 00:52:03.683
I'm getting my hands on that baby.
00:52:06.160 --> 00:52:08.322
He's a narc?
Are you fucking kidding me?!
00:52:08.680 --> 00:52:12.002
Stop panicking! We haven't done anything
suspicious yet, so just relax!
00:52:12.280 --> 00:52:15.648
Oh, really? Okay. What about when they
wanna hold our precious weed baby?
00:52:15.840 --> 00:52:17.171
Give me the baby, all right?
00:52:17.400 --> 00:52:19.721
I'll handle it if it happens.
I'll take care of it.
00:52:19.920 --> 00:52:23.481
Right now, all we have to do is
get away from that fucked up family.
00:52:23.840 --> 00:52:25.490
Oh, fuck. Why are we stopping?
00:52:25.680 --> 00:52:29.162
They heard us. They heard us.
Fuck, we're going to jail.
00:52:31.880 --> 00:52:34.042
No, no, no.
We're just at the garage, okay?
00:52:34.240 --> 00:52:37.210
Everybody calm down. We haven't
done anything. You're right.
00:52:37.400 --> 00:52:40.927
I'll ditch this guy real fast. We're gonna
get in and get out of here, okay?
00:52:41.120 --> 00:52:43.771
Game face, okay?
Miller time. Here we go.
00:52:45.080 --> 00:52:46.684
No other repair shops nearby?
00:52:46.880 --> 00:52:51.010
Run by a Christian and open after
supper on a Saturday night? No, sir.
00:52:51.280 --> 00:52:54.887
Ah, shoot. I'd give you the hose out
of our rig and send you on your way...
00:52:55.080 --> 00:52:56.764
...but we'd be stranded ourselves.
00:52:57.240 --> 00:53:00.164
Besides, this way we can all get to
know each other better.
00:53:00.440 --> 00:53:02.727
- What's happening?
- They're closed till morning.
00:53:03.120 --> 00:53:04.531
Oklahoma.
00:53:05.240 --> 00:53:06.287
Oh, God.
00:53:06.480 --> 00:53:09.086
You folks can make camp with the
Fitzgeralds tonight.
00:53:09.280 --> 00:53:13.330
I know a great spot. We'll set up the old
tents and you can bed down in our Winni.
00:53:13.520 --> 00:53:16.126
- I'll give you a hand with your gear.
- No, no, no.
00:53:16.320 --> 00:53:18.368
That's okay.
Millers carry their own weight.
00:53:18.640 --> 00:53:21.564
- I knew I liked you, David.
- Kenny, you wanna get our shit?
00:53:22.360 --> 00:53:24.601
- Hey.
- This will be a hoot.
00:53:25.080 --> 00:53:28.289
I'll watch your little one so you and your
man can have some snuggle time.
00:53:28.480 --> 00:53:30.960
- I don't want you to have to--
- I am good with babies.
00:53:31.160 --> 00:53:33.561
Nonsense! Oh, give me the baby.
Give me that baby!
00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:46.047
Shit!
00:53:47.480 --> 00:53:48.527
Oh, my God!
00:53:49.720 --> 00:53:51.768
Oh, my God!
00:53:52.440 --> 00:53:55.649
Oh, my God.
Why isn't there blood?!
00:53:55.840 --> 00:53:58.730
Oh, my God! What's happening?
00:53:58.960 --> 00:54:02.931
Thanks a lot, Mom. Now what am I
supposed to use for my health project?
00:54:03.120 --> 00:54:05.361
I'm gonna fail and have to go to
community college.
00:54:05.560 --> 00:54:08.131
- My future's ruined!
- Honey.
00:54:08.480 --> 00:54:10.323
Mrs. Fitzgerald, are you all right?
00:54:10.520 --> 00:54:13.842
- That baby was--?
- Oh, did you think that LeBron was--?
00:54:14.040 --> 00:54:17.886
Heh-heh-heh.
- No, no, no. LeBron was a sack of herbs.
00:54:18.080 --> 00:54:19.684
Oregano and basil mostly.
00:54:19.880 --> 00:54:22.611
We were just treating it like
a real baby, a summer project.
00:54:22.800 --> 00:54:25.121
- Extra credit.
- It teaches the students that...
00:54:25.360 --> 00:54:26.964
...nothing ruins your life like children.
00:54:27.680 --> 00:54:31.162
Yeah. And it also sends that message
to teens, just stick to the big A.
00:54:31.360 --> 00:54:33.169
- Yeah, anal.
- Abstinence, you meant.
00:54:34.400 --> 00:54:36.243
- Neither makes a baby.
- He confuses them.
00:54:37.040 --> 00:54:39.850
Anyway, I'm so sorry, Edie.
We promised our Casey...
00:54:40.080 --> 00:54:43.641
...that we would treat it like a real baby
all summer and we went too far.
00:54:43.880 --> 00:54:44.927
Got used to it. Sorry.
00:54:45.120 --> 00:54:46.645
And so I'm embarrassed, actually.
00:54:46.880 --> 00:54:48.530
I think that would scare anybody.
00:54:48.760 --> 00:54:52.048
She's very emotional. You should have
seen her at the end of Free Willy.
00:54:52.240 --> 00:54:53.446
Oh, stop it, Don.
00:54:55.880 --> 00:54:57.291
I love that whale.
00:54:57.680 --> 00:55:00.126
Well, who loves campfire games?
00:55:00.280 --> 00:55:02.123
Oh, Don.
00:55:04.840 --> 00:55:07.081
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's my pleasure to welcome you...
00:55:07.280 --> 00:55:10.409
...to the annual
singing Fitzgerald family jamboree.
00:55:11.400 --> 00:55:13.368
Our usual guests couldn't be here this year.
00:55:13.760 --> 00:55:17.207
- Uh, they're called the Osmond family.
- Ha-ha-ha!
00:55:19.800 --> 00:55:25.204
But in their place this year we have
the very talented and wonderful Miller family.
00:55:26.240 --> 00:55:29.801
Let's get this party started
with a Fitzgerald family favorite.
00:55:30.400 --> 00:55:33.244
Breakin' rocks in the hot sun
00:55:33.400 --> 00:55:39.760
I fought the law and the law won
00:55:39.920 --> 00:55:41.251
It always does.
00:55:41.440 --> 00:55:44.728
I needed to steal some money
'Cause I had none
00:55:44.880 --> 00:55:47.167
I fought the law and the law won
00:55:47.360 --> 00:55:48.407
Now just the Millers.
00:55:48.560 --> 00:55:52.042
I fought the law and the law won
00:55:52.240 --> 00:55:55.722
I fought the law and the law won
00:55:56.680 --> 00:56:00.685
I want you to imagine you committed a felony,
you've been tried and sent to prison...
00:56:00.840 --> 00:56:04.561
...and you're standing out in the sun
breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. And...
00:56:04.720 --> 00:56:07.644
I fought the law and the law won
00:56:07.840 --> 00:56:10.650
I fought the law and the law won
00:56:10.840 --> 00:56:12.524
- All right, that's great.
- That's good.
00:56:12.720 --> 00:56:15.166
- That's fun. Great song.
- I love it. That was great.
00:56:15.320 --> 00:56:16.890
Great choice.
00:56:17.040 --> 00:56:20.362
- Great, kids.
- Well, that was an A for effort.
00:56:20.560 --> 00:56:23.166
- Whoo! I got the spirit!
- That's great.
00:56:23.320 --> 00:56:24.560
It's a bird, it's a plane.
00:56:24.720 --> 00:56:27.724
- U.S. Air Force, U.S. Air Force. Ollie North!
- Take me home to--
00:56:27.880 --> 00:56:29.291
Looks like a sea animal.
00:56:29.720 --> 00:56:30.846
Hammer tooth shark.
00:56:31.040 --> 00:56:35.602
We wait until they fall asleep
and then we sneak into their tent, all right?
00:56:35.800 --> 00:56:37.723
Mm. Cut their throats.
00:56:38.480 --> 00:56:40.369
- What?
- What?
00:56:40.560 --> 00:56:42.369
No. Jesus.
00:56:42.680 --> 00:56:44.569
- What the fuck's wrong with you?
- Nothing.
00:56:44.760 --> 00:56:48.242
I wasn't saying to do that. I didn't say that.
I thought you were gonna it.
00:56:48.440 --> 00:56:50.841
You thought I was gonna say
"cut their throats"?
00:56:51.280 --> 00:56:53.681
Who do you think I am, Scarf ace?
Give me a break.
00:56:53.880 --> 00:56:55.723
- Herbert Walker Bush!
- Paper airplanes!
00:56:56.320 --> 00:56:57.651
Clowns. Clown sandwich.
00:56:57.840 --> 00:56:59.444
Don't lock the baby in the basement.
00:56:59.680 --> 00:57:02.729
What I was gonna say: We sneak
into the tent, steal Don's keys...
00:57:02.920 --> 00:57:06.686
...then we take the RV back to the shop and
I can swap out their radiator hose for ours.
00:57:06.880 --> 00:57:08.928
Ah. Got it.
00:57:09.120 --> 00:57:11.885
- The Earth! The Earth is on fire!
- Atmosphere.
00:57:12.080 --> 00:57:13.366
Uh...
00:57:13.560 --> 00:57:14.686
Plain and simple.
00:57:14.880 --> 00:57:16.484
Al Qaeda! Al Qaeda!
00:57:18.400 --> 00:57:19.640
It was "plain and simple."
00:57:19.840 --> 00:57:25.131
- See, this was a plane, and then this w--
- Oh, Melissa, of course it was.
00:57:25.480 --> 00:57:26.720
That is so clever.
00:57:26.960 --> 00:57:28.689
Gosh, I thought it was really good.
00:57:29.400 --> 00:57:31.243
I'm a terrible drawer, so...
00:57:32.440 --> 00:57:34.329
- Great, because you're up next.
- Ah.
00:57:36.280 --> 00:57:38.408
- Passing the baton.
- Nice work.
00:57:38.640 --> 00:57:40.404
Okay. Let's go, Kenny.
00:57:40.640 --> 00:57:42.369
DAVID
All right, Kenny, here we go.
00:57:42.600 --> 00:57:44.887
- Draw your brains out.
- All right, that's a line.
00:57:45.080 --> 00:57:47.242
- A slash. Guns and Roses.
- Looks like a spring.
00:57:47.480 --> 00:57:50.529
What is that? That's a-- Kenny,
come on, draw something, buddy.
00:57:50.720 --> 00:57:51.846
- String.
- Come on, son.
00:57:52.040 --> 00:57:54.566
- Rocket. It's a rocket or...
- Is that a cucumber?
00:57:54.760 --> 00:57:56.046
This is really stupid.
00:57:56.280 --> 00:57:58.886
Is it a bad drawing, Kenny?
My guess is "bad drawing."
00:57:59.400 --> 00:58:02.643
- it's...
- Oh! A penis! A penis.
00:58:03.200 --> 00:58:06.249
It's a big dick. Those are balls.
00:58:06.440 --> 00:58:09.649
It's a big black dick! It's a drawing.
Black! It's a big black dick.
00:58:10.600 --> 00:58:12.887
It's a big, big black cock!
00:58:13.640 --> 00:58:14.801
Black Cock Down!
00:58:19.960 --> 00:58:21.200
It's a skateboard.
00:58:21.480 --> 00:58:24.245
- It's a skateboard, great.
- A skateboard. Of course it is.
00:58:24.440 --> 00:58:27.364
- It's a big black skateboard.
- I see it.
00:58:27.600 --> 00:58:30.604
Of course. It's very clear.
But, you see, it was up-- There's--
00:58:30.800 --> 00:58:34.043
Its wheels, so I didn't see it
down on the ground, and then it--
00:58:37.920 --> 00:58:40.651
Black Cock Down? Black Cock Down?
00:58:40.840 --> 00:58:43.491
Nice job, Meryl Streep.
Very subtle character work.
00:58:43.680 --> 00:58:45.682
Not my fault that Kenny can't draw.
00:58:45.880 --> 00:58:47.564
Don't you pick on Kenny.
00:58:47.760 --> 00:58:50.161
Nothing about that
looked like a skateboard.
00:58:50.360 --> 00:58:53.204
You leave him alone.
Where the hell's Kenny?
00:58:53.400 --> 00:58:55.482
- You guys, come here.
- What?
00:58:55.680 --> 00:58:57.364
- What's going on?
- Look at these two.
00:58:57.560 --> 00:58:59.403
- Aww.
Uh-oh.
00:59:02.160 --> 00:59:04.811
- Guess I'm not the best drawer.
- No, you were great.
00:59:05.000 --> 00:59:07.048
- I knew that was a skateboard.
- Yeah.
00:59:07.400 --> 00:59:10.324
- I don't know where the confusion was.
- No, I-- That--
00:59:10.640 --> 00:59:12.130
Yeah.
00:59:13.040 --> 00:59:16.089
I, um, really like your family.
They're, uh...
00:59:16.320 --> 00:59:19.881
- They're different.
- Well, they're not my family. I mean--
00:59:20.080 --> 00:59:21.570
Yeah, no, I get what you mean.
00:59:21.760 --> 00:59:23.683
- She wants him to kiss her.
- Absolutely.
00:59:23.880 --> 00:59:27.202
- She does, right?
- And sometimes I feel like I'm adopted...
00:59:27.400 --> 00:59:29.528
...or an alien, you know, or something.
00:59:29.720 --> 00:59:32.644
Right. That's what I meant. Um...
00:59:32.880 --> 00:59:35.406
But also, you know, I
would totally adopt you.
00:59:35.920 --> 00:59:37.126
You know, um...
00:59:38.640 --> 00:59:41.928
Not that I wanna be your daddy.
I just, uh...
00:59:42.400 --> 00:59:44.607
- He's talking too much.
- He won't shut up.
00:59:47.040 --> 00:59:48.326
Uh, well, good night.
00:59:50.560 --> 00:59:52.324
- I'll see you.
- Okay. Um...
00:59:52.800 --> 00:59:53.961
Fucking hug.
00:59:54.160 --> 00:59:55.241
Okay.
00:59:56.680 --> 00:59:57.727
And, uh, Melissa?
00:59:58.600 --> 01:00:01.604
- Yeah?
- Uh, watch out for bears.
01:00:01.800 --> 01:00:05.407
Um, you know. Can't see them coming.
01:00:06.000 --> 01:00:07.286
Good tip.
01:00:13.880 --> 01:00:16.850
That poor kid.
Well, you should go talk to him.
01:00:17.280 --> 01:00:18.486
Who?
01:00:19.480 --> 01:00:21.289
I said you should go--
Well, who do you think?
01:00:21.480 --> 01:00:23.403
Me? What the hell am I gonna say?
01:00:23.600 --> 01:00:25.329
Talk to him about guy stuff.
01:00:25.880 --> 01:00:28.929
- Jesus fucking Christ.
- Come on, how hard is it? Just go.
01:00:34.280 --> 01:00:37.170
- Hey, man, how you doing?
- Hey.
01:00:37.400 --> 01:00:39.402
- Anybody sitting here?
- Uh, no.
01:00:39.600 --> 01:00:42.649
Well, good, good, good, good.
All right.
01:00:44.080 --> 01:00:45.491
So, urn...
01:00:46.520 --> 01:00:49.524
...I saw what just happened
with you and Melissa.
01:00:50.240 --> 01:00:51.924
- Oh.
- Um...
01:00:52.160 --> 01:00:56.802
You know, you don't have to be scared to
kiss a girl. Heh-heh.
01:00:57.040 --> 01:01:01.329
I mean, you damn near sucked a guy's dick
nine hours ago. What are you shy now for?
01:01:02.040 --> 01:01:03.644
That's not funny, David.
01:01:06.320 --> 01:01:09.130
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
01:01:09.920 --> 01:01:12.048
It was a bad joke. Ahem.
01:01:14.320 --> 01:01:17.085
You wanna know something I used
to do when I was your age...
01:01:17.280 --> 01:01:19.487
...kept me from
getting nervous around girls?
01:01:20.200 --> 01:01:23.443
- Yeah.
- I would just count to three.
01:01:24.360 --> 01:01:26.283
- Count to three?
- Yeah.
01:01:26.840 --> 01:01:29.571
- That's your big advice? Count to three?
- Yeah.
01:01:29.760 --> 01:01:33.970
I mean, if you ever wanna kiss a girl
or ask her to go out, or I mean...
01:01:34.160 --> 01:01:37.687
Actually, if you get scared of anything,
just do this: just count to three...
01:01:37.920 --> 01:01:39.251
...and then do it.
01:01:40.200 --> 01:01:44.762
Because if you take too long, you overthink
it and you'll just drive yourself crazy.
01:01:44.960 --> 01:01:46.803
Trust me, it'll change your life.
01:01:48.160 --> 01:01:49.924
I guess that makes sense.
01:01:51.160 --> 01:01:53.527
- Thanks.
- Yeah. No problem.
01:01:53.720 --> 01:01:57.122
And, you know, if you have any other
questions...
01:01:57.320 --> 01:01:59.288
...about, like, the birds and the bees...
01:01:59.520 --> 01:02:02.171
...who puts what into where,
any of that fun stuff...
01:02:02.400 --> 01:02:05.006
...just don't hesitate to ask, okay?
01:02:05.240 --> 01:02:06.287
- Okay.
- Okay.-
01:02:06.560 --> 01:02:07.925
- Good talk.
- Yeah, good talk.
01:02:08.160 --> 01:02:10.003
Oh, my back.
01:02:10.560 --> 01:02:12.927
- So old.
- Yeah.
01:02:35.400 --> 01:02:39.883
Wait. You go in.
I'll keep a lookout, okay? Good.
01:02:40.080 --> 01:02:43.721
Fuck you. This was your idea.
You're going the fuck in there.
01:02:43.920 --> 01:02:45.570
Why are you yelling at me?
01:02:45.760 --> 01:02:47.808
I am not yelling at you.
01:02:48.000 --> 01:02:50.446
Okay. Okay-
01:02:52.320 --> 01:02:53.560
Watch.
01:03:09.120 --> 01:03:10.531
Bin Laden!
01:03:11.680 --> 01:03:13.205
What's happening? Is it raccoons?
01:03:14.480 --> 01:03:15.641
God.
01:03:16.120 --> 01:03:17.690
You were right about them, Edith.
01:03:17.880 --> 01:03:19.644
- No. I'm so sorry.
- Let me explain.
01:03:19.840 --> 01:03:21.251
This is completely explainable.
01:03:21.480 --> 01:03:23.721
- A misunderstanding.
- We didn't mean to do this.
01:03:25.400 --> 01:03:27.721
- You just have to understand something.
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
01:03:30.040 --> 01:03:33.442
We have never done anything like this with
another couple before.
01:03:34.240 --> 01:03:35.651
Uh-huh.
01:03:35.840 --> 01:03:38.446
That's no judgment on you.
We're no squares.
01:03:38.640 --> 01:03:40.802
- I own a vibrator.
- That's right, she does.
01:03:41.680 --> 01:03:43.284
- Awesome.
- I wasn't for it at first.
01:03:43.480 --> 01:03:46.450
The darn thing's made in China,
for cripes' sake...
01:03:46.640 --> 01:03:51.362
...but when you've been married this long
you look for anything to spice things up.
01:03:51.560 --> 01:03:55.406
So, of course we've discussed a scenario
like this.
01:03:55.640 --> 01:03:59.725
Yes. And tonight when you brought up
that big black "babymaker"...
01:04:00.720 --> 01:04:02.848
- Well, we got it.
- Loud and clear.
01:04:03.040 --> 01:04:05.361
Our vibrator is named "Joe Morgan."
01:04:05.880 --> 01:04:08.724
We were picking up
what you were putting down.
01:04:09.080 --> 01:04:11.048
Same page.
- interesting.
01:04:11.280 --> 01:04:15.330
We're very flattered by this, but right now,
in the middle of the night...
01:04:15.520 --> 01:04:18.922
...I'm not sure I'm really ready for it.
Aw, Don.
01:04:19.160 --> 01:04:21.447
Got it. Totally understood. Not a problem.
01:04:21.640 --> 01:04:23.005
We just had to ask. So...
01:04:23.200 --> 01:04:24.486
Wait. I have an idea.
01:04:26.320 --> 01:04:31.008
Okay. Maybe I could take
a baby step tonight.
01:04:31.200 --> 01:04:33.771
I mean, my mouth is for my marriage.
01:04:34.000 --> 01:04:36.924
But I've never touched
another woman before.
01:04:40.040 --> 01:04:43.328
I would be okay with that. Yeah.
01:04:44.040 --> 01:04:45.087
Oh, great.
01:04:45.960 --> 01:04:47.200
Rose?
01:04:48.200 --> 01:04:50.487
- There you go.
- Okay. All right, I'm sitting.
01:04:50.760 --> 01:04:52.171
- Are you okay?
- David.
01:04:52.400 --> 01:04:55.370
- Mother to mother, is this okay with you?
- Yes. "Mother." Yes.
01:04:55.560 --> 01:04:57.881
- Are you sure?
- Let's get this mother started.
01:04:58.120 --> 01:05:00.521
- Shall we? Okay.
Ha-ha-ha!
01:05:00.760 --> 01:05:03.764
- Okay, Don, are you watching?
- I'm good.
01:05:04.720 --> 01:05:06.563
Okay. Uh, wow.
01:05:06.760 --> 01:05:09.411
My heart's pounding
so fast in my chest.
01:05:09.600 --> 01:05:12.251
- Ahem. So I guess we're swinging.
- Hmm? Oh, yeah.
01:05:12.440 --> 01:05:14.283
Ooh. Ha, ha.
01:05:14.480 --> 01:05:15.925
Sorry that I'm taking so long.
01:05:16.120 --> 01:05:18.202
Hello. Ha-ha-ha!
01:05:19.840 --> 01:05:22.889
Okay, I'm just gonna do it real fast.
There we go.
01:05:23.600 --> 01:05:25.011
- There they are.
- There they are.
01:05:25.200 --> 01:05:28.488
- Wow! Wow!
- It's happening. This is happening.
01:05:29.480 --> 01:05:32.563
Don, are you looking at this?
I'm touching her boobs.
01:05:32.960 --> 01:05:35.008
- This is a miracle.
- Okey-doke.
01:05:35.240 --> 01:05:38.483
- Would you like to feel my breasts?
- I think that's enough for tonight.
01:05:38.680 --> 01:05:40.489
- You're right.
- Don't give away the farm.
01:05:40.680 --> 01:05:42.444
- A little roughhouse?
- We should wait.
01:05:43.280 --> 01:05:45.408
- Are you okay down there?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:05:45.600 --> 01:05:47.011
Have fun tonight, kids.
01:05:48.360 --> 01:05:52.285
- Awesome.
- I'm never gonna wash these hands.
01:05:52.480 --> 01:05:53.845
Mwah, mwah, mwah!
01:05:54.400 --> 01:05:55.640
Thank you so much.
01:05:56.040 --> 01:05:58.042
- Good night. That was great.
- Okay, bye, guys.
01:05:58.200 --> 01:06:00.202
Great. What now, genius?
01:06:00.360 --> 01:06:02.408
- Tell me-- What?
- Oh, oh, oh. I don't know.
01:06:02.600 --> 01:06:04.090
I just got earfucked in a tent.
01:06:04.240 --> 01:06:07.050
If you let her finger bang you
they would have given us the keys.
01:06:07.200 --> 01:06:09.965
Oh, really? Why don't you go
suck Don's dick for them...
01:06:10.120 --> 01:06:13.329
...and then you get the keys?
He was certainly loving on those earlobes.
01:06:13.480 --> 01:06:16.882
Okay, look. First, unlike you,
I only suck a man's dick if I'm in love, okay?
01:06:17.040 --> 01:06:18.724
That's kind of a personal rule I have.
01:06:18.880 --> 01:06:21.167
- Yeah, and secondly... And secondly...
- What?
01:06:24.160 --> 01:06:27.289
I don't have a second one.
I don't know where I was going with that.
01:06:27.440 --> 01:06:29.329
Fucking idiot.
01:06:29.960 --> 01:06:31.883
Oh, I thought of one. I got one.
01:06:35.920 --> 01:06:38.048
Here comes Joe Morgan up to the plate.
01:06:39.480 --> 01:06:40.811
Oh, Don.
01:06:46.400 --> 01:06:47.481
Okay, what?
01:06:49.560 --> 01:06:50.891
What? What do you mean?
01:06:51.080 --> 01:06:52.445
Do you wanna talk about it...
01:06:52.640 --> 01:06:55.405
...or mope around like
someone kicked you in the vagina?
01:06:57.400 --> 01:06:59.323
Okay. Um...
01:06:59.520 --> 01:07:01.568
Well, I've never really like--
01:07:01.760 --> 01:07:03.922
Had sex before. Shocker.
01:07:04.160 --> 01:07:05.650
Kissed a girl before.
01:07:06.240 --> 01:07:09.608
Wait, what? I thought you said
you were like 18.
01:07:10.000 --> 01:07:12.401
- Okay, you know what, forget it.
- Okay, okay, wait. Okay.
01:07:12.600 --> 01:07:15.604
Come on. Sit down.
Don't need to be so dramatic.
01:07:15.840 --> 01:07:18.411
Look, it's okay
that you haven't kissed a girl.
01:07:18.600 --> 01:07:20.807
I'm sure there are some girls...
01:07:21.000 --> 01:07:22.764
...who I've never met...
01:07:23.200 --> 01:07:25.567
...that find inexperience
kind of sweet.
01:07:25.760 --> 01:07:30.163
I don't wanna be a sweet, inexperienced
guy who's never been worth kissing.
01:07:30.960 --> 01:07:35.648
I wanna be the guy who grabs a girl
and kisses her. You know?
01:07:38.760 --> 01:07:41.445
Okay, let me make one thing clear.
01:07:41.640 --> 01:07:44.689
This isn't one of those moments
where the girl kisses the boy...
01:07:44.880 --> 01:07:47.884
...and realizes she's been in love with him
the whole time, okay?
01:07:48.720 --> 01:07:50.848
You're my fake brother
and you're a sweet kid...
01:07:51.080 --> 01:07:53.560
...so this is for you
to bring back to Melissa.
01:07:53.760 --> 01:07:55.888
- What is?
- I'm gonna kiss you, dingus.
01:07:56.720 --> 01:07:58.245
Oh.
01:07:59.840 --> 01:08:02.491
- What are you doing? Shut your eyes.
- Okay, sorry. Right.
01:08:02.720 --> 01:08:04.927
That's weird. That's really weird.
01:08:05.120 --> 01:08:07.168
- Sorry.
- All right. Ahem.
01:08:12.800 --> 01:08:14.962
That was okay.
Now more tongue.
01:08:15.160 --> 01:08:17.401
Tongue. I can do that.
01:08:20.080 --> 01:08:22.287
Too much tongue. Too much tongue.
01:08:22.720 --> 01:08:26.088
Right. Too much--
Yeah, that's my fault. My bad. Sorry.
01:08:28.120 --> 01:08:29.201
Less tongue.
01:08:34.720 --> 01:08:35.767
That was good.
01:08:36.960 --> 01:08:39.884
All right, now this time, I want you
to choke me a little bit.
01:08:40.080 --> 01:08:44.051
- Uh, okay.
- Whoa. What's going on here?
01:08:44.240 --> 01:08:45.730
Uh, it's--
01:08:45.920 --> 01:08:48.844
- We're not doing what it looks like.
- Really?
01:08:49.080 --> 01:08:51.731
It looks like Casey's
teaching you how to kiss out of pity.
01:08:51.920 --> 01:08:53.081
Mm-hm.
01:08:53.280 --> 01:08:55.851
Uh, well, then it is what it looks like, yeah.
01:08:56.200 --> 01:08:57.486
Really.
01:08:57.840 --> 01:08:59.285
What did you teach him?
01:08:59.480 --> 01:09:02.404
The basics.
He's never kissed a girl before.
01:09:02.880 --> 01:09:05.531
You haven't?
Oh. Well, honey, show me.
01:09:05.720 --> 01:09:07.882
- Uh, really?
- Yes.
01:09:08.480 --> 01:09:09.606
Okay. Uh--
01:09:12.240 --> 01:09:14.447
Oh. Not bad.
01:09:14.640 --> 01:09:16.005
It's not bad.
01:09:16.480 --> 01:09:18.164
- Try this.
- Okay.
01:09:18.360 --> 01:09:19.441
Come here.
01:09:23.000 --> 01:09:24.047
There you go.
01:09:26.280 --> 01:09:28.203
You feel that?
What I did with my tongue?
01:09:28.960 --> 01:09:32.169
- Yes, ma'am.
- Show Casey what you just learned.
01:09:35.840 --> 01:09:37.410
Look at that.
01:09:38.280 --> 01:09:40.681
Mm! Whoa!
01:09:40.880 --> 01:09:42.120
Wait. Hold on.
01:09:42.360 --> 01:09:46.251
I wanna get a picture of you with
the first girl you ever kissed. Here you go.
01:09:46.440 --> 01:09:47.965
- Mm-hm. Make it good.
- Good.
01:09:48.200 --> 01:09:51.090
Rose. Get in there.
There you go. Photobomb it.
01:09:52.160 --> 01:09:54.606
- This is getting better, it's getting better.
- Okay.
01:09:58.600 --> 01:10:00.125
It's so cute.
01:10:00.320 --> 01:10:02.448
Use your hands. They got
so much fun stuff to play with.
01:10:02.640 --> 01:10:04.290
You're not using your hands.
01:10:09.160 --> 01:10:10.730
Kenny?
01:10:13.040 --> 01:10:15.281
- No, Melissa-- It's, uh--
- I'm sorry.
01:10:15.520 --> 01:10:17.010
Melissa, wait.
01:10:18.080 --> 01:10:19.206
Fuck.
01:10:20.480 --> 01:10:23.324
You know, there's a 50-50 chance
she'll be into it.
01:10:23.520 --> 01:10:25.443
Redhead. They're crazy.
01:10:34.880 --> 01:10:37.565
Grab your things, guys.
Kenny, grab my stuff. Thanks.
01:10:37.720 --> 01:10:40.166
- Here we go.
- Well, looks like you're ready to roll.
01:10:40.320 --> 01:10:44.006
Gary called me first thing. He seemed real
eager for y'all to come pick her up.
01:10:44.160 --> 01:10:46.845
- Good. Good, good, good. Okay.
- Guess this is it, then.
01:10:47.000 --> 01:10:49.765
- Good luck to you, David.
- Hey, thank you, Don. Take care, will you?
01:10:49.920 --> 01:10:53.481
Hey, yeah, listen, I would appreciate it
if you kept what happened last night...
01:10:53.680 --> 01:10:55.967
...all that Chinese vibrator talk, between us.
01:10:56.120 --> 01:10:59.169
- Yeah.
- If folks at my church found out about that...
01:10:59.320 --> 01:11:02.927
Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no. I get it. Yeah.
No, say no more. Mum's the word, okay?
01:11:03.080 --> 01:11:04.161
Before you go running off...
01:11:04.360 --> 01:11:06.681
- Yeah?
- Well, last night notwithstanding...
01:11:06.840 --> 01:11:09.730
...things bedroom-wise between me
and Mrs. Fitzgerald...
01:11:09.880 --> 01:11:12.963
...haven't been a real five-alarm fire of late.
- Okay.
01:11:13.160 --> 01:11:16.607
Now that I'm not working as much,
we have a chance to light the flame again...
01:11:16.760 --> 01:11:19.684
...but our matches are wet.
- Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
01:11:19.840 --> 01:11:23.083
- If you catch my drift.
- I do,yeah.
01:11:23.240 --> 01:11:25.083
Yeah, the matches are genitals. I get it.
01:11:25.240 --> 01:11:28.050
No, I was talking about our passion.
01:11:28.200 --> 01:11:30.282
Right. Sorry, sorry. Of course.
That's the way--
01:11:30.440 --> 01:11:32.090
- That's okay. That's all right.
- Yeah.
01:11:32.240 --> 01:11:33.924
So we've been looking for new ideas...
01:11:34.080 --> 01:11:37.084
...and she read on the internet
about this finger thing--
01:11:37.240 --> 01:11:40.483
- Don, you don't need to share that with me.
- No, no, it's okay. I want to.
01:11:40.640 --> 01:11:42.210
Okay, as long as you're comfortable.
01:11:42.400 --> 01:11:43.925
- I need your advice, David.
- Mm-hm.
01:11:44.240 --> 01:11:47.050
You and Rose seem hotter for each other
than a couple mice...
01:11:47.200 --> 01:11:49.282
...having sexual congress in a wool sock.
01:11:49.920 --> 01:11:51.365
- We do?
- Yeah.
01:11:51.520 --> 01:11:54.330
You're like newlyweds,
the way you keep looking at each other.
01:11:54.920 --> 01:11:57.400
- We are?
- Yeah. I guess I just wanna know...
01:11:57.560 --> 01:12:02.521
...what do you do to keep things exciting
after years in the same fishing hole?
01:12:02.680 --> 01:12:04.842
- Hmm.
- What's your secret?
01:12:05.200 --> 01:12:06.406
Right.
01:12:06.560 --> 01:12:08.642
- And by fishing hole you mean...
- Genitals.
01:12:08.840 --> 01:12:10.080
That's genitals. Okay. Um.
01:12:10.240 --> 01:12:13.369
Yeah, um, my secret? Uh...
01:12:14.280 --> 01:12:16.328
Well, you know what I do, Don?
01:12:16.680 --> 01:12:19.126
I just treat
Rose like she's a stripper.
01:12:22.560 --> 01:12:24.050
- No kidding?
- No kidding.
01:12:24.200 --> 01:12:26.362
Like she's a dirty, dirty stripper.
01:12:28.520 --> 01:12:30.124
Okay. Heh-heh-heh.
01:12:30.320 --> 01:12:31.765
Dirtier the better. Heh.
01:12:31.920 --> 01:12:34.082
- Heh, heh.
- Okay, watch your step.
01:12:34.480 --> 01:12:37.131
It surprise-- It sneaks up on you.
01:12:37.520 --> 01:12:38.726
Everyone got your bags?
01:12:39.240 --> 01:12:42.847
Oh. I am so sorry that Melissa
isn't here to say goodbye.
01:12:43.080 --> 01:12:44.605
She just won't come out of that bedroom.
01:12:44.800 --> 01:12:47.610
You know, she's been sick to her tummy
ever since last night.
01:12:47.840 --> 01:12:51.128
- I think it was something that she ate.
- Just tell her I'm really sorry.
01:12:51.320 --> 01:12:52.651
- Oh, sure.
- Oh.
01:12:53.120 --> 01:12:54.451
Sure will.
01:12:56.240 --> 01:12:58.129
Oh, so sweet, kids.
01:13:00.320 --> 01:13:02.402
You'll always be my special lover.
01:13:04.000 --> 01:13:06.082
OW! Oh, Edie.
01:13:07.280 --> 01:13:08.520
Bye!
01:13:08.720 --> 01:13:11.564
- Happy birthday, America!
- Bye!
01:13:11.760 --> 01:13:13.524
- See ya, now!
- Bye-bye, now.
01:13:15.880 --> 01:13:17.564
- Thank you.
- Bye.
01:13:17.760 --> 01:13:21.560
Let's get out of here. You guys, go to
the RV. I'll get the keys from Skeeter.
01:13:26.040 --> 01:13:27.451
Hello?!
01:13:32.000 --> 01:13:33.809
Hey, Brad, I was just gonna call you.
01:13:34.160 --> 01:13:36.208
Where are you?
Thought you'd be here by now.
01:13:36.360 --> 01:13:37.805
I told you I needed it today.
01:13:37.960 --> 01:13:41.442
No, I know that. No, we just had a little
bit of engine trouble's all, okay?
01:13:41.640 --> 01:13:45.929
We're gonna be on the road in five minutes,
at your front door in just a few hours, okay?
01:13:46.080 --> 01:13:47.809
Nothing stopping us now.
01:13:48.240 --> 01:13:49.685
What the fuck?
01:13:51.760 --> 01:13:53.410
Hand me the phone.
01:13:53.560 --> 01:13:55.961
Uh, Brad, can you hold on for a sec?
01:13:56.320 --> 01:13:58.322
All right, let's not do anything rash.
01:13:58.680 --> 01:14:01.206
- I'm David, what's your name?
- Pablo Chacon.
01:14:01.360 --> 01:14:03.488
Shut the fuck up. Stop, stop.
01:14:03.640 --> 01:14:06.371
- Hola, Brad.
- Pablo!
01:14:08.480 --> 01:14:11.051
You send this amateur fuck-up
to steal from me?
01:14:11.200 --> 01:14:13.931
Listen, I don't know
what David told you-- Hello?
01:14:15.000 --> 01:14:17.685
I would have loved to say good-bye to him.
01:14:24.880 --> 01:14:25.927
Pablo Chacon.
01:14:26.760 --> 01:14:29.809
Turns out there's a real Pablo Chacon
and we stole from him.
01:14:29.960 --> 01:14:33.806
So this is probably gonna end well,
I would imagine.
01:14:35.800 --> 01:14:38.007
I'll be right back.
01:14:38.520 --> 01:14:39.567
No rush.
01:14:41.280 --> 01:14:44.489
I thought you said we were
picking up drugs for Pablo Chacon.
01:14:44.640 --> 01:14:47.291
I thought we were.
Brad told me he was Pablo Chacon.
01:14:47.440 --> 01:14:49.681
- Why do you trust that guy?
- I don't, okay?
01:14:49.880 --> 01:14:52.167
Can you guys stop bickering
for five seconds?
01:14:52.320 --> 01:14:54.482
Okay, how did he even find us?
01:14:54.640 --> 01:14:56.130
- We don't know.
- I don't know.
01:14:56.280 --> 01:14:57.566
With this.
01:14:59.600 --> 01:15:02.524
Cool, is that a transmitter? That's like a--
01:15:02.760 --> 01:15:04.967
You put that in the RV, huh?
In one of the bags?
01:15:05.120 --> 01:15:09.330
- How could you not think of that?
- Because I don't know what I'm doing!
01:15:09.520 --> 01:15:11.807
- Have you not figured that out?
- Silence!
01:15:15.040 --> 01:15:16.610
You all die now.
01:15:16.760 --> 01:15:19.081
But together as a family, with honor.
01:15:19.800 --> 01:15:24.203
But we're not even a real family, okay?
I don't even know these people.
01:15:25.760 --> 01:15:29.003
She's right. That's absolutely right.
No, no. We're not related at all, any of us.
01:15:29.160 --> 01:15:30.525
No. We're just friends.
01:15:30.680 --> 01:15:32.569
- No, we're not--
- We are not friends!
01:15:32.720 --> 01:15:35.166
Look, I'm just a small-time
fucking drug dealer.
01:15:35.320 --> 01:15:36.685
I sell dime bags, all right?
01:15:36.880 --> 01:15:40.487
My daughter here
is just a homeless gutter punk, all right?
01:15:40.680 --> 01:15:44.890
And my son is just a fucking dork that
lives in my building. We don't look alike!
01:15:45.040 --> 01:15:47.725
- Not related.
- A virgin, okay? And my "wife"?
01:15:48.160 --> 01:15:49.969
I mean, she's just a cheap stripper.
01:15:50.120 --> 01:15:52.088
Hey, thanks, David. Nice.
01:15:52.240 --> 01:15:54.811
- We will not do anything if--
- Wait, wait. Heh.
01:15:54.960 --> 01:15:57.850
In the capri pants and the sensible
footwear, a stripper?
01:15:59.080 --> 01:16:00.206
Yes.
01:16:01.240 --> 01:16:02.366
That's right, I am...
01:16:03.320 --> 01:16:04.890
...Mr. Chacon.
01:16:05.720 --> 01:16:07.927
Just give me one chance...
01:16:08.120 --> 01:16:13.206
...to prove to you that I'm worth
way more alive than I am dead.
01:16:20.720 --> 01:16:25.282
Sweet
01:16:25.440 --> 01:16:30.162
Emotion
01:16:30.320 --> 01:16:33.130
Talk about things
And nobody cares
01:16:35.640 --> 01:16:38.007
Wearing hot things
That nobody wears
01:16:45.240 --> 01:16:48.323
Some sweat hog knew
She's a real good liar
01:16:49.880 --> 01:16:53.089
'Cause the backstage boogie
Set your pants on fire
01:16:57.840 --> 01:17:01.765
Sweet
01:17:01.920 --> 01:17:06.482
Emotion
01:17:06.680 --> 01:17:11.402
Sweet
01:17:11.600 --> 01:17:15.321
Emotion
01:17:16.440 --> 01:17:19.410
You stand in the front
Just a shakin' your ass
01:17:21.400 --> 01:17:24.609
I'll take you backstage
You'll be drinking my glass
01:17:26.240 --> 01:17:29.369
I'm talkin' about something
You can sure understand
01:17:43.920 --> 01:17:46.082
Have some respect, it's your mother.
01:18:19.360 --> 01:18:20.771
Get in the RV! Go, go, go!
01:18:28.440 --> 01:18:29.487
Why are we fighting?
01:18:34.600 --> 01:18:36.250
- Do you know how to drive this?
- No.
01:18:37.280 --> 01:18:38.520
No weapons. Here we go.
01:18:38.720 --> 01:18:40.882
- Hurry!
- I don't know how it works.
01:18:43.520 --> 01:18:44.851
Fuck!
01:18:49.560 --> 01:18:52.291
- What just happened?
- I knocked him out. Let's go.
01:18:52.480 --> 01:18:53.641
- You did not.
- Yes, I did.
01:18:57.720 --> 01:18:59.245
Come on, Rose, come on. Come on!
01:19:02.720 --> 01:19:04.006
- Look out!
- Oh, no, please.
01:19:10.440 --> 01:19:12.442
Kenny! Kenny, give me the wheel!
01:19:12.680 --> 01:19:14.045
No, do not pull over!
01:19:15.320 --> 01:19:18.051
Go this way!
No, no, no. Don't get on the freeway.
01:19:18.240 --> 01:19:20.686
- Kenny, just let me in.
- I can't. I'll stop.
01:19:20.880 --> 01:19:22.370
Don't stop! You can't stop.
01:19:22.560 --> 01:19:23.846
Goddamn it, will you let go?
01:19:24.040 --> 01:19:25.963
No, no, no, no!
You're gonna get us killed!
01:19:30.040 --> 01:19:32.691
- All right, just get out of the way.
- I can't.
01:19:44.760 --> 01:19:45.841
Is everybody okay?
01:19:46.040 --> 01:19:47.849
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine. What--?
01:19:48.040 --> 01:19:49.087
Fuck.
01:19:51.480 --> 01:19:54.370
Fuck!
01:19:54.880 --> 01:19:56.166
Ow! Shit! Fuck, fucking--
01:19:56.320 --> 01:19:58.482
Ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow!
01:19:58.640 --> 01:20:01.450
- Oh, my God. Fucking shit! Fuck!
- What the hell is he doing?
01:20:01.600 --> 01:20:03.728
Fuck a donkey! It hurts so much.
01:20:03.880 --> 01:20:06.201
Settle down, man.
What the hell's going on?
01:20:06.400 --> 01:20:08.323
Oh, my God! I'm gonna die.
01:20:08.480 --> 01:20:10.482
Kenny, listen to me.
Calm down, all right?
01:20:10.640 --> 01:20:12.483
Not gonna die. Tell us what's going on.
01:20:12.640 --> 01:20:15.211
- Tell us what happened.
- Fucking spider bit me, David!
01:20:15.360 --> 01:20:17.931
- What? Where did it happen?
- Bit me on my balls.
01:20:18.440 --> 01:20:21.922
On my fucking balls. On my balls,
on my fucking balls!
01:20:22.080 --> 01:20:24.003
Oh, God. Let me see.
Kenny, let me see it.
01:20:24.160 --> 01:20:26.731
No. No fucking way. You're not seeing it.
01:20:26.920 --> 01:20:30.641
Come on. I can't help you unless you
show me. Sweetie, just show it to me.
01:20:30.840 --> 01:20:33.127
Kenny, will you just man up
and drop your pants?
01:20:33.280 --> 01:20:34.964
We've all seen a dick.
01:20:40.120 --> 01:20:41.565
All right, let's see it.
01:20:43.960 --> 01:20:46.486
What? What is it?
What does it look like?
01:20:46.640 --> 01:20:48.483
- I can't look.
- Um...
01:20:48.640 --> 01:20:51.564
- Is it bad?
- Hey, listen to me. It's not that bad.
01:20:51.720 --> 01:20:53.882
- Dude, it's really bad.
- No, it isn't.
01:20:54.040 --> 01:20:56.646
- Have you seen what that-- Look.
- I'm not gonna look.
01:20:56.800 --> 01:20:59.963
- You're going to a hospital.
- What? No. No fucking way.
01:21:00.160 --> 01:21:01.321
How bad is it?
01:21:01.680 --> 01:21:04.524
You're okay. Rub some dirt
on it. Let's get back in the RV.
01:21:04.680 --> 01:21:07.331
No. You're going to see a doctor.
01:21:07.480 --> 01:21:09.608
No fucking way.
No, absolutely not, Rose.
01:21:09.800 --> 01:21:12.371
He's not going to a hospital.
We don't have time.
01:21:12.520 --> 01:21:14.727
Trust me. Kenny is fine.
01:21:14.880 --> 01:21:17.406
I can't feel my bingo.
01:21:19.640 --> 01:21:22.484
- Goddamn it, Kenny.
- Yeah. Totally fine.
01:21:22.640 --> 01:21:25.689
- Go grab him. Grab him!
- If he's dead, we're leaving him.
01:21:32.560 --> 01:21:36.485
Yeah, this is David Mille-- David Clark,
calling for Mr. Gurdlinger again.
01:21:37.520 --> 01:21:39.204
Yes, I'll hold.
01:21:39.560 --> 01:21:42.404
Who's my big black and white baby? Yeah.
01:21:43.200 --> 01:21:45.168
You are. Yes, you are.
01:21:49.680 --> 01:21:51.489
- Yellow-ski.
- Oh, hello, Brad.
01:21:51.640 --> 01:21:54.450
Where the fuck have you been?
I left you five messages, man!
01:21:54.600 --> 01:21:58.491
David! You're alive! Cool.
How'd that happen?
01:21:58.680 --> 01:22:00.444
Ask the real Pablo Chacon.
01:22:00.640 --> 01:22:02.005
I'm not gonna make excuses.
01:22:02.440 --> 01:22:03.930
It was kind of a dick move.
01:22:04.640 --> 01:22:06.688
-"A dick move"? A dick move!
- Little bit.
01:22:07.080 --> 01:22:08.570
Little bit of a dick move.
01:22:08.720 --> 01:22:11.451
Well, tell you what. I'm not driving
another fucking mile.
01:22:11.600 --> 01:22:15.764
All right? I want goddamn hazard pay from
your ass. Otherwise, I'll turn around...
01:22:15.920 --> 01:22:19.891
...and give this smidge of pot back to
Chacon, along with your fucking address.
01:22:20.040 --> 01:22:21.121
Do you understand me?
01:22:21.280 --> 01:22:23.521
Sounds like you're
threatening to double-cross me.
01:22:23.680 --> 01:22:25.489
Fucking right I am.
01:22:25.640 --> 01:22:27.608
And I'm kind of turned on right now.
01:22:28.360 --> 01:22:30.966
You make a good case for hazard pay.
How much you want?
01:22:31.120 --> 01:22:33.930
How much? Oh, I don't know,
half a million dollars.
01:22:34.080 --> 01:22:35.366
- How about that?
- Done.
01:22:36.560 --> 01:22:38.244
Fucking right, it's done. Good.
01:22:38.400 --> 01:22:41.324
But I need it here by tonight
or the deal is off.
01:22:42.040 --> 01:22:43.610
No problem. That's fine with me.
01:22:43.760 --> 01:22:45.489
Where the hell are you, anyway?
01:22:45.640 --> 01:22:50.726
We're at the Corrales Regional Medical
Center in Buttfuck, New Mexico.
01:22:50.880 --> 01:22:52.245
- Why?
- Why? Why?
01:22:52.440 --> 01:22:56.001
Because this goddamn Kenny kid got his
fucking nuts bit by a giant spider.
01:22:56.160 --> 01:22:59.403
That is amazing. Will you let me know
if he develops super powers?
01:23:00.000 --> 01:23:02.082
Listen, man, giddyup, okay?
Tick-tock.
01:23:02.600 --> 01:23:04.921
Tick-tock. Okay.
01:23:08.560 --> 01:23:10.961
Hola, Pablo.
Es Brad.
01:23:11.120 --> 01:23:14.044
Okay. Here me out.
I wanna ask you something.
01:23:21.080 --> 01:23:22.844
Scottie? The doctor will see you now.
01:23:26.680 --> 01:23:28.364
Text me, girl. I gotta bounce.
01:23:29.000 --> 01:23:30.206
Know what I'm saying?
01:23:32.520 --> 01:23:36.002
Oh, God. Really? That guy?
01:23:36.800 --> 01:23:39.371
- What? He's hot.
- Okay.
01:23:40.000 --> 01:23:41.206
"I gotta bounce."
01:23:42.480 --> 01:23:44.323
- Miller family?
- Yeah.
01:23:44.760 --> 01:23:47.240
Hi. Hello, how are you?
01:23:47.440 --> 01:23:50.125
Oh, great. What's the news,
doc, huh? Can we get going?
01:23:50.320 --> 01:23:52.084
- He's about to tell us.
- Oh, good.
01:23:52.280 --> 01:23:56.046
I'm afraid your son had a pretty severe
allergic reaction to the spider's venom.
01:23:56.240 --> 01:23:58.242
Ooh. Too bad. Better get him home.
Where is he?
01:23:58.440 --> 01:24:02.525
He's in a lot of pain right now, we won't be
able to release him for a few hours yet.
01:24:04.800 --> 01:24:07.201
- Why?
- David? David, David! Stop it.
01:24:08.360 --> 01:24:09.691
Please. Continue.
01:24:10.640 --> 01:24:12.449
Uh, he's on an IV
to get some antibiotics--
01:24:13.880 --> 01:24:16.406
Who the fuck cares, man?
Okay? We got shit to do.
01:24:16.600 --> 01:24:19.649
Go get my son and bring him
and his giant nut out here right now.
01:24:19.840 --> 01:24:23.242
Stop it. Doctor, thank you.
I appreciate you taking care of our son.
01:24:23.440 --> 01:24:27.081
- Thank you very much.
- Sure. You seem like a very caring father.
01:24:28.720 --> 01:24:31.246
- What is your fucking problem?
- What?!
01:24:31.440 --> 01:24:33.966
Are you crazy? It's only a few hours.
We'll be fine.
01:24:34.160 --> 01:24:35.400
No, we're not fine. Okay?
01:24:35.600 --> 01:24:38.570
We'll be dead in a few hours.
You forget who's following us?
01:24:38.800 --> 01:24:41.121
Look, here's what I say we do, all right?
01:24:41.600 --> 01:24:44.251
We leave him here,
and then we just keep going, all right?
01:24:44.440 --> 01:24:47.364
So you're saying that the three
of us, we just leave him here.
01:24:47.600 --> 01:24:51.491
No! No, no, no. We don't leave him here.
No. Absolutely not. No, we leave...
01:24:51.720 --> 01:24:53.085
...with him here.
01:24:56.040 --> 01:24:57.087
Okay.
01:25:03.080 --> 01:25:05.447
You know, if we leave Kenny here,
it really isn't--
01:25:06.120 --> 01:25:07.167
Ah.
01:25:07.360 --> 01:25:10.091
No. I don't know where I was going
with that. That's stupid.
01:25:10.280 --> 01:25:11.566
Seriously.
01:25:14.000 --> 01:25:15.365
- What's that?
- I don't know.
01:25:15.560 --> 01:25:18.325
- Don't answer it! It's for me!
- What?
01:25:19.280 --> 01:25:20.327
What's up, dawg?
01:25:20.760 --> 01:25:22.330
Not much, dawg.
What's up with you?
01:25:22.520 --> 01:25:24.488
Here to pick up Casey,
know what I'm saying?
01:25:24.720 --> 01:25:27.200
I'm awake and I speak English,
so, yeah, I do know.
01:25:28.360 --> 01:25:31.569
- What's your name, man?
- Scottie P., you know what I'm saying? Ha-ha.
01:25:32.360 --> 01:25:34.124
Again, I do know what you're saying.
01:25:34.320 --> 01:25:36.800
But I appreciate you continuing
to check in with me.
01:25:37.000 --> 01:25:39.606
- Hi! Bye. We're gonna go.
- Whoa, wait!
01:25:39.800 --> 01:25:42.041
- Where do you think you're going?
- Out.
01:25:42.680 --> 01:25:44.682
I have just made lunch.
01:25:44.880 --> 01:25:47.201
- When are you coming back?
- I don't know, later.
01:25:47.400 --> 01:25:49.289
No! Hey, stop! Stop, listen to me.
01:25:49.480 --> 01:25:51.289
Once Kenny is ready, we're out of here.
01:25:51.480 --> 01:25:54.962
We will leave with or without you.
if you're not here, we're gone. Got it?
01:25:55.160 --> 01:25:57.242
Okay, fine. That's totally fine.
01:25:57.440 --> 01:26:00.364
Wait. Come here.
I'd like to have a chat with your friend.
01:26:00.560 --> 01:26:03.006
- Are you kidding me?
- I am not kidding you.
01:26:03.200 --> 01:26:04.611
Would you please have a seat.
01:26:05.720 --> 01:26:07.006
What is going on?
01:26:13.000 --> 01:26:17.210
So, Scottie P.,
what exactly do you do for a living?
01:26:17.480 --> 01:26:20.450
- Oh, Mom!
- I work for A & J Amusements.
01:26:20.600 --> 01:26:23.080
I'm rocking that Monkey Maze,
you know what I'm saying?
01:26:23.280 --> 01:26:27.569
- What the hell is the Monkey Maze?
- Oh, it's like a Terrifying Deathtrap...
01:26:27.720 --> 01:26:29.131
...but for little kids.
01:26:29.320 --> 01:26:31.561
You're working at the fair. You're a carny.
01:26:31.720 --> 01:26:34.326
No, I drive a motorcycle.
01:26:34.480 --> 01:26:35.845
- Mm-hm.
- Mm-hm.
01:26:36.040 --> 01:26:37.246
Yeah.
01:26:37.400 --> 01:26:41.325
What about you guys? Where you, uh,
stopping in from, you know what I'm saying?
01:26:41.480 --> 01:26:43.482
- Uh, D-town.
- Oh, Detroit.
01:26:43.640 --> 01:26:46.086
No, no, no. The other one.
01:26:46.240 --> 01:26:47.969
D-town. The other D-town.
01:26:48.120 --> 01:26:50.487
- Denver...?
- That's the one. There you go.
01:26:50.680 --> 01:26:52.045
- Colorado.
- That's the one.
01:26:52.200 --> 01:26:54.407
Yeah, I love my Rockies,
you know what I'm saying?
01:26:54.600 --> 01:26:56.682
Oh, you like the Rockies?
You're a baseball fan?
01:26:57.600 --> 01:26:59.967
- Uh, no, the mountains.
- Of course.
01:27:01.360 --> 01:27:02.805
Hey, those are cool tats, man.
01:27:02.960 --> 01:27:05.122
Oh, for real. Thank you, bro.
You see the cobra?
01:27:05.520 --> 01:27:07.682
- What's this? The one right there?
- Oh, this?
01:27:07.840 --> 01:27:09.285
Uh-huh.
01:27:09.440 --> 01:27:11.363
That's my credo.
"No ragrets."
01:27:11.520 --> 01:27:14.410
Mm-hm. How about that.
01:27:15.120 --> 01:27:17.088
- You have no regrets?
- Nope.
01:27:17.240 --> 01:27:20.881
- Not one?
- Nope. Ha, ha.
01:27:21.040 --> 01:27:23.486
I wish I did. To talk about something.
01:27:23.640 --> 01:27:24.721
Not one regret, huh?
01:27:24.920 --> 01:27:27.082
That's how I been living my whole life.
01:27:27.240 --> 01:27:29.288
I went to a tattoo artist, I was like:
01:27:29.440 --> 01:27:31.647
"This how I live.
Can you put that on my body?"
01:27:31.800 --> 01:27:33.325
- And he did it.
- Dad.
01:27:33.480 --> 01:27:36.609
- Not even a single letter?
- No, I can't think of one.
01:27:36.760 --> 01:27:39.604
- I love all the letters, know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.
01:27:39.760 --> 01:27:41.808
A lot of letters in the alphabet.
How many?
01:27:41.960 --> 01:27:44.930
- It's in the 20s.
- it's definitely in the 20s, I agree.
01:27:45.080 --> 01:27:47.560
Twenty-six, I think,
if you count Y.
01:27:47.720 --> 01:27:50.803
- Do you have any questions for us, Scottie P?
- Dad.
01:27:51.520 --> 01:27:54.444
- How did you make her so hot?
- What's that?
01:27:54.920 --> 01:27:57.651
- Uh, Casey.
- Aw, that's very sweet of you.
01:27:57.800 --> 01:28:00.167
He wants to know
how we made Casey so hot.
01:28:00.320 --> 01:28:03.608
- It's, uh--
- You guys had to...
01:28:03.760 --> 01:28:06.286
- What'd you ask us?
- ...seminate, like, each other?
01:28:06.440 --> 01:28:08.283
Uh-- Sorry'?
01:28:08.440 --> 01:28:11.011
- Oh, my God.
- Like, is there a way to make them, like...
01:28:11.160 --> 01:28:12.286
...attractive? Like, kids?
01:28:13.440 --> 01:28:15.602
- Doggie style. Know what I mean?
- Dope.
01:28:17.440 --> 01:28:21.240
- Dad.
- Well, I love him. I think he's great.
01:28:21.440 --> 01:28:24.125
A real winner.
If I were you, I wouldn't use protection.
01:28:24.280 --> 01:28:25.805
Scottie P., you're the man.
01:28:25.960 --> 01:28:27.849
- Yo, for real. Thanks, man.
- We're leaving. Bye!
01:28:28.680 --> 01:28:31.001
- Nice meeting you. You do you, Scottie P.
- You too.
01:28:37.600 --> 01:28:39.329
Casey, make good choices!
01:28:42.400 --> 01:28:44.004
Come on, she's gonna be fine.
01:28:44.200 --> 01:28:46.885
Tattooed kid on a motorcycle, no helmet.
01:28:47.600 --> 01:28:49.568
Actually, she might already be pregnant.
01:28:56.320 --> 01:28:59.051
I cannot believe her.
Where the hell is she?
01:28:59.240 --> 01:29:02.926
Look who is concerned about someone
other than themselves.
01:29:03.120 --> 01:29:05.088
What? I just want to get back on
the road.
01:29:05.280 --> 01:29:06.645
No, I know.
01:29:07.000 --> 01:29:08.764
That kid was a dickhead, huh?
01:29:08.960 --> 01:29:10.291
- Right?
- Know what I'm saying?
01:29:10.480 --> 01:29:13.404
- Ha! Jerk.
- Unbelievable.
01:29:13.600 --> 01:29:15.921
Must get her shitty taste in men
from her mother.
01:29:19.400 --> 01:29:21.721
I'm sorry. It was a cheap shot.
01:29:21.920 --> 01:29:24.366
Cheap shot, okay? I'm taking it back.
01:29:25.320 --> 01:29:28.847
I'm sure your boyfriend Jimmy
is very nice.
01:29:29.040 --> 01:29:31.884
He seems like a very good guy.
01:29:32.520 --> 01:29:34.841
Well, he's not. He left.
01:29:35.320 --> 01:29:38.642
Maxed out all my credit cards,
cleaned out my bank account...
01:29:38.840 --> 01:29:40.251
...jetted out of town.
01:29:40.440 --> 01:29:45.002
He stole my favorite mug. Which was
a pretty shitty thing to do. Even for him.
01:29:45.200 --> 01:29:47.646
- I'm really sorry about that. That sucks.
- Whatever.
01:29:47.880 --> 01:29:50.804
That's what you get
for dating a guy who dates strippers.
01:29:51.360 --> 01:29:52.407
Ah, come on.
01:29:52.600 --> 01:29:54.762
You're a lot more than that, Rose,
and you know it.
01:29:58.200 --> 01:30:01.044
- What?
- Rose is not even my real name.
01:30:03.000 --> 01:30:04.331
What's your real name?
01:30:05.720 --> 01:30:06.926
Sarah.
01:30:07.680 --> 01:30:08.806
With an "h"?
01:30:09.160 --> 01:30:11.481
Yep. Right there at the end.
01:30:11.680 --> 01:30:13.250
It's the best way to spell it.
01:30:13.440 --> 01:30:16.330
- That's what my mother thought. Heh.
- Heh.
01:30:18.400 --> 01:30:20.209
Well, David's not my real name either.
01:30:20.640 --> 01:30:23.371
- Really?
- I'm being serious.
01:30:24.680 --> 01:30:27.331
Wow. So you're being ser--
01:30:27.560 --> 01:30:30.564
Well, so then, what's your real name?
01:30:30.920 --> 01:30:32.046
Barbara.
01:30:32.240 --> 01:30:34.481
- Barbara?
- Yeah, named after my mom.
01:30:34.680 --> 01:30:36.967
Oh, so, what are you, like, a Barbara Jr.?
01:30:38.320 --> 01:30:40.322
- You're Barbara Jr.
- You got it. Yeah, yeah.
01:30:40.520 --> 01:30:43.171
My friends in high school
and grade school called me Babs.
01:30:43.360 --> 01:30:44.885
Oh, scarred childhood.
01:30:45.120 --> 01:30:49.045
Not really, not at all. I mean, I was in
musical theater, so I was actually revered.
01:30:50.400 --> 01:30:51.447
Very funny.
01:30:53.360 --> 01:30:54.850
You have a hair...
01:30:56.920 --> 01:30:58.365
Yank, or put behind the ear?
01:30:58.560 --> 01:30:59.800
Guess we could...
01:31:00.640 --> 01:31:01.766
...tuck it back there.
01:31:04.880 --> 01:31:06.962
Whoa. What's going on in here?
01:31:07.560 --> 01:31:10.291
We should ask you the same thing,
young lady! Huh?
01:31:10.520 --> 01:31:12.522
- We've been worried sick.
- That's right.
01:31:12.720 --> 01:31:14.882
Why are you guys talking like that?
01:31:15.200 --> 01:31:16.281
Shit, is someone here?
01:31:16.480 --> 01:31:19.450
Yeah! Yeah, us.
We're here. That's who's here.
01:31:19.760 --> 01:31:22.206
We didn't know if you were dead
in a ditch! Huh?
01:31:22.400 --> 01:31:23.970
You couldn't have called?
Something?
01:31:24.200 --> 01:31:27.124
Or send one of those text messages
you're always sending out?
01:31:27.320 --> 01:31:31.450
"Hey, it's me, Casey, I'm not dead in a
ditch." LOL, picture of a whale, #YOLO.
01:31:31.760 --> 01:31:33.250
- Anything!
- Okay.
01:31:33.760 --> 01:31:35.205
Fine! Whatever!
01:31:35.400 --> 01:31:37.050
Sorry.
01:31:37.240 --> 01:31:38.480
- Whoa!
- Thank you!
01:31:38.720 --> 01:31:40.484
- Was that so hard?
- Appreciate that.
01:31:40.720 --> 01:31:43.883
- She learned a new word, Rose.
- Thank God. "I'm sorry."
01:31:44.360 --> 01:31:46.203
Un-fucking-believable.
01:31:46.640 --> 01:31:48.005
It's gonna be great.
01:31:48.920 --> 01:31:51.048
Oh! There he is. Kenny!
01:31:51.240 --> 01:31:53.720
- Okay, let's go.
- Oh, my God, you look so much better.
01:31:53.920 --> 01:31:56.161
- Doesn't he?
- Like a thousand bucks. Let's go.
01:31:59.000 --> 01:32:01.241
- Come on, we gotta hurry. Come on!
- Take it easy!
01:32:01.440 --> 01:32:03.283
- Will you just relax?!
- Look, I can't--
01:32:04.120 --> 01:32:05.167
- Oh, great.
- Aah!
01:32:05.360 --> 01:32:07.806
- Kenny.
- That's my elbow. Oh...
01:32:08.040 --> 01:32:10.247
- Are you okay?
- I think so.
01:32:10.440 --> 01:32:13.091
Look what happens when you
run around like a crazy person.
01:32:13.280 --> 01:32:16.284
What do mean? He's fine.
Come on, Ken-doll, hop up. Here we go.
01:32:16.480 --> 01:32:18.562
- What's wrong with you?
- What's wrong with me?
01:32:18.800 --> 01:32:21.406
- David!
- Look, this job has a deadline...
01:32:21.600 --> 01:32:23.489
...and it's in four fucking hours.
01:32:23.720 --> 01:32:27.441
If you think I'm gonna lose half a million
dollars because of Kenny's boo-boos...
01:32:27.680 --> 01:32:29.967
...then you're out of your mind.
- Whoa. Wait a second.
01:32:30.680 --> 01:32:33.923
You're making half a million dollars
on this deal?
01:32:36.240 --> 01:32:40.245
- Uh, roughly.
- I cannot believe you.
01:32:40.440 --> 01:32:41.885
Listen to me. I can explain.
01:32:42.080 --> 01:32:47.291
You are making $500,000
and you were only gonna pay me 30?
01:32:47.480 --> 01:32:51.041
You're getting 30 grand?
I'm getting a thousand!
01:32:51.560 --> 01:32:53.085
Wait, you guys are getting paid?
01:32:53.280 --> 01:32:54.725
- You're a liar.
- No, no, no.
01:32:54.960 --> 01:32:57.042
- We want to renegotiate.
- No. No way.
01:32:57.240 --> 01:32:58.571
- What? David.
- No. No way.
01:32:58.800 --> 01:33:02.930
You made your deal with me, I made my
deal with Brad. We're getting outta here.
01:33:03.880 --> 01:33:07.248
See? Good. Casey gets it.
We're not renegotiating now. Let's go.
01:33:07.440 --> 01:33:11.240
I believe we are, right now, because you
wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for us.
01:33:11.480 --> 01:33:12.641
You're right about that.
01:33:12.840 --> 01:33:15.571
I'd be in Denver now if it wasn't
for you slowing me down.
01:33:15.760 --> 01:33:19.162
Are you shitting--? Slowing you down?
What the hell are you talking--?
01:33:19.800 --> 01:33:22.007
Whoa, where the hell are you going?
Hey, hey!
01:33:22.240 --> 01:33:24.049
Hey, I said where are you going?
01:33:24.280 --> 01:33:26.328
You know what? You leave,
you get nothing.
01:33:26.520 --> 01:33:27.965
I don't want your money, okay?
01:33:28.200 --> 01:33:31.044
Casey, come back.
We have to stay together.
01:33:31.240 --> 01:33:32.765
- Come on!
- Why?
01:33:33.520 --> 01:33:34.965
Because we're a family? Huh?
01:33:35.400 --> 01:33:38.404
You want to spend Christmas together?
Help me with my homework?
01:33:38.720 --> 01:33:41.690
Please. This whole thing
has been a total joke.
01:33:42.720 --> 01:33:45.883
Oh, no, I'll tell you what the joke is!
You want to know what the--?
01:33:46.880 --> 01:33:48.006
The j--
01:33:48.440 --> 01:33:50.090
I'm not gonna tell you the joke!
01:33:50.280 --> 01:33:53.489
You don't deserve to hear the joke!
Let's go.
01:33:53.680 --> 01:33:56.081
- I don't think you knew the joke.
- I knew a joke.
01:33:56.280 --> 01:33:57.964
We have to go back and get her.
01:33:58.160 --> 01:34:00.686
What? Are you kidding me?
She left! Screw her, okay?
01:34:00.880 --> 01:34:02.564
Are you coming with me or not, Rose?
01:34:04.040 --> 01:34:07.442
Fine. I'll slide your check
under your door. Kenny, let's go.
01:34:09.200 --> 01:34:10.725
Kenny, come on! Let's go, man.
01:34:10.920 --> 01:34:13.526
We can't leave her, David. It's not right.
01:34:16.240 --> 01:34:17.605
- You know what?
- What?
01:34:18.000 --> 01:34:19.764
You all deserve each other.
01:34:22.680 --> 01:34:24.011
Da-- Wha--?
01:34:35.000 --> 01:34:36.331
He'll come back.
01:34:37.040 --> 01:34:38.087
Right?
01:34:59.320 --> 01:35:00.367
Yo, girl!
01:35:02.200 --> 01:35:04.567
- I got your text. What's up?
- Hey.
01:35:04.760 --> 01:35:06.000
Are you alone?
01:35:06.520 --> 01:35:10.411
Yeah. You think we can go someplace
private and talk?
01:35:11.280 --> 01:35:14.727
I know just the spot,
you know what I'm saying? Heh-heh.
01:35:20.320 --> 01:35:23.164
- A little better.
- See, you're not in synch with what I'm doing.
01:35:23.360 --> 01:35:26.284
I'm just playing a major scale,
but, um, we can move it down.
01:35:26.440 --> 01:35:27.726
- Let's move it.
- Shitty scale.
01:35:27.880 --> 01:35:29.370
Stop talking. Just shut the fuck up.
01:35:31.480 --> 01:35:33.005
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey, Brad.
01:35:33.200 --> 01:35:36.249
I'm just getting some singing lessons
from my main man Ben Folds Five.
01:35:36.400 --> 01:35:39.802
- Ain't that right, Ben Folds Five?
- My name is Ben Folds.
01:35:40.000 --> 01:35:41.729
"Five" is the name of the band.
01:35:41.920 --> 01:35:43.649
You're fucking with me. I love it.
01:35:43.840 --> 01:35:47.128
You gotta meet this guy.
Benji Five is a laugh riot.
01:35:47.280 --> 01:35:49.123
Remember that song "Brick"
we used to listen to?
01:35:49.280 --> 01:35:53.444
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
01:35:53.640 --> 01:35:56.405
it's-- I've got-- It's that guy.
I fucking got that guy.
01:35:56.600 --> 01:35:58.170
He's like my personal bitch.
01:35:58.320 --> 01:36:00.607
- Listen, is everything okay?
- Yeah.
01:36:00.760 --> 01:36:02.762
Yeah, yeah. Uh, things are fine.
01:36:02.920 --> 01:36:05.890
I'm about 200 miles away.
I'll be there in three hours, all right?
01:36:06.040 --> 01:36:09.567
- All right. Peace.
- Agh, fucking asshole.
01:36:09.720 --> 01:36:11.051
Scales. Let's do this.
01:36:11.240 --> 01:36:12.605
This gig sucks.
01:36:12.760 --> 01:36:14.808
Don't talk to me like that.
I will have you killed.
01:36:14.960 --> 01:36:16.803
And no one will miss
your fucking nerd music.
01:36:26.400 --> 01:36:28.164
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
01:36:28.360 --> 01:36:30.010
Great. That's loud.
01:36:38.120 --> 01:36:41.329
Yeah, nice try, radio. Nice try. Heh.
01:36:42.000 --> 01:36:43.764
Okay. Ahem.
01:36:43.960 --> 01:36:45.166
Let's get there.
01:36:47.760 --> 01:36:49.569
Hoo.
01:36:51.000 --> 01:36:52.240
Quiet.
01:36:59.120 --> 01:37:00.770
And I knew better too.
01:37:01.000 --> 01:37:03.321
But we were all on the road together...
01:37:03.520 --> 01:37:06.330
...and it got kind of fun, you know?
01:37:07.160 --> 01:37:08.207
Yeah. Uh-huh.
01:37:08.800 --> 01:37:11.644
And I started thinking of us as kind of
like this...
01:37:13.120 --> 01:37:14.724
Whatever, it's stupid.
01:37:15.760 --> 01:37:18.047
- Fuck them.
- Yeah, fuck them.
01:37:18.240 --> 01:37:22.484
Yo, right now, girl, Scottie P. is gonna make
you feel real good, know what I'm saying?
01:37:22.680 --> 01:37:25.047
- Ha-ha.
- Uh, heh.
01:37:25.240 --> 01:37:28.369
I'm sorry, I'm just feeling kind of cry-ey
and that...
01:37:29.520 --> 01:37:31.363
- I'm just gonna go, okay?
- Come on, girl.
01:37:31.560 --> 01:37:33.881
- You texted me. You know what's up.
- Scottie.
01:37:34.080 --> 01:37:35.320
Hey!
01:37:35.520 --> 01:37:36.646
Get your hands off of her!
01:37:36.840 --> 01:37:38.171
Come here, Casey.
01:37:38.600 --> 01:37:40.204
You put your hands on her again...
01:37:40.400 --> 01:37:43.085
...I will rip that fucking tattoo
right off of your chest.
01:37:43.280 --> 01:37:44.361
You know what I'm saying?
01:37:44.560 --> 01:37:46.608
- Oh, really, bitch?
- Yeah, bitch.
01:37:46.800 --> 01:37:49.883
You know what? Why don't you leave
the girls alone, man.
01:37:50.080 --> 01:37:51.684
What are you gonna do, eyebrows?
01:37:53.240 --> 01:37:54.685
One...
01:37:55.400 --> 01:37:56.640
...two...
01:37:58.280 --> 01:38:00.408
Ow! Broke my nose!
01:38:01.920 --> 01:38:04.764
You're an aggressive woman.
Know what I'm saying?
01:38:07.240 --> 01:38:08.287
Are you okay?
01:38:08.520 --> 01:38:11.000
I'm fine. That was awesome.
You fucking decked him!
01:38:11.200 --> 01:38:13.521
I've dealt with handsy
assholes like him at work.
01:38:13.760 --> 01:38:15.000
Let's just get out of here.
01:38:15.240 --> 01:38:17.004
Thanks for the backup.
Why the counting?
01:38:17.240 --> 01:38:19.447
If you're gonna punch someone,
punch them on one.
01:38:19.640 --> 01:38:21.005
Well, David told me to count.
01:38:21.240 --> 01:38:23.481
David? David hasn't punched
anybody ever.
01:38:28.320 --> 01:38:30.243
I think this Way. Exit.
01:38:34.120 --> 01:38:36.691
I have returned.
01:38:38.520 --> 01:38:40.807
Ha-ha-ha. So here's what happened, okay?
01:38:40.960 --> 01:38:46.126
I'm out on the open road, just by myself, right?
And I'm just beelining it to a huge payday.
01:38:46.280 --> 01:38:48.681
And I start to realize something:
it's boring in here.
01:38:48.840 --> 01:38:50.763
So I thought,
"You know what you gotta do, dummy?
01:38:50.920 --> 01:38:54.527
You gotta turn this RV around
and go back and get those dip sticks."
01:38:54.680 --> 01:38:57.923
Heh. I'm just kidding, you're not dip sticks.
01:38:58.080 --> 01:38:59.889
What do you say we go home?
Come on, let's go.
01:39:00.040 --> 01:39:01.849
Hey, David? Go fuck yourself.
01:39:02.480 --> 01:39:04.289
Uh--? Ha!
01:39:04.880 --> 01:39:07.360
"Go fuck yourself."
"You go fuck yourself."
01:39:07.520 --> 01:39:12.048
Rose, you say, "Go fuck yourself." Then
Kenny's like, "I don't want to fuck anybody."
01:39:12.200 --> 01:39:15.283
This is what I miss, right?
The Ping-Pong action, the repartee.
01:39:15.440 --> 01:39:19.729
Come on, guys. Let's get out of here, go home.
Get in the RV, go home, get out of here.
01:39:19.880 --> 01:39:22.201
Come on, let's go!
01:39:22.360 --> 01:39:25.125
- Whoa, hey, hold on. Where you going?
- Are you serious?
01:39:25.280 --> 01:39:27.203
Look, look, look. Okay.
01:39:27.360 --> 01:39:29.806
I know what this is about, and I get it.
01:39:29.960 --> 01:39:33.009
All right?
We're gonna split the $500,000.
01:39:33.160 --> 01:39:37.051
Evenly. Betwixt the four of us.
01:39:37.440 --> 01:39:40.489
You guys get what I'm saying here?
Kenny, you wanna be like this: "Pfft!"
01:39:40.640 --> 01:39:44.087
Like you're from-- Right?
That's a lot of video games, kiddo.
01:39:44.240 --> 01:39:47.642
All right, Casey, you can buy a house,
and run away from it.
01:39:48.040 --> 01:39:50.520
You know what I mean? Like, whatever.
You get $125,000.
01:39:50.680 --> 01:39:51.806
You get $125,000.
01:39:52.000 --> 01:39:54.685
You get a-- I mean, I'm like
fucking Oprah here. You know?
01:39:54.880 --> 01:39:57.486
If she was a white dude at a carnival. Heh.
01:39:57.640 --> 01:40:00.211
Come on, guys. Let's get in the RV...
01:40:00.360 --> 01:40:04.001
...and take our butts back to Denver where
we're gonna be rich and we're gonna get paid.
01:40:05.320 --> 01:40:07.766
- Come on, come on.
- Uh, David, listen.
01:40:07.960 --> 01:40:10.964
You misled us. You left us.
01:40:11.120 --> 01:40:15.045
And then you come waltzing back in here
all...l don't know what the hell that was...
01:40:15.200 --> 01:40:17.680
...and you just expect
that we all just forget about it.
01:40:17.840 --> 01:40:20.571
What's wrong with you?
01:40:21.400 --> 01:40:22.447
How do we trust you?
01:40:26.480 --> 01:40:29.404
Okay, look, what do you want?
Do you want me to beg?
01:40:29.600 --> 01:40:31.170
Kids? What do you think?
01:40:31.320 --> 01:40:34.051
- That would make me feel a lot better.
- Works for me. Sure.
01:40:36.520 --> 01:40:38.124
You're joking.
01:40:39.920 --> 01:40:41.046
Wha--?
01:40:41.440 --> 01:40:44.569
You really want me to get on my knees?
And beg you?
01:40:45.360 --> 01:40:47.203
It's a good thing I'm wearing
my begging pants.
01:40:47.360 --> 01:40:49.567
I usually only do this before sex.
01:40:51.080 --> 01:40:53.845
Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going.
Please, please.
01:40:54.000 --> 01:40:56.970
Ahem. Let's do it. Here we go.
01:40:57.120 --> 01:40:58.167
Okay! To the RV, let's go.
01:40:58.560 --> 01:40:59.607
Come on, Babs.
01:41:02.960 --> 01:41:05.440
Whoa, whoa. Slow down.
There's clowns everywhere.
01:41:05.640 --> 01:41:06.801
Here, let Pops get in here.
01:41:07.000 --> 01:41:09.287
We're right down here.
I parked it next to an RV.
01:41:14.200 --> 01:41:15.486
- Melissa.
- Kenny.
01:41:15.680 --> 01:41:17.250
- Rose!
- Edie.
01:41:17.440 --> 01:41:18.646
- Shit.
- Shit.
01:41:18.880 --> 01:41:21.201
I never get used to that language.
01:41:22.280 --> 01:41:26.171
What in the H-E-L-L
are you people doing here?
01:41:26.480 --> 01:41:27.606
Uh... Uh, uh--
01:41:27.800 --> 01:41:30.121
- We came to see the fireworks.
- Yeah. Fireworks.
01:41:30.600 --> 01:41:34.810
Us too! That's so weird!
They're supposed to be amazing here.
01:41:35.000 --> 01:41:36.445
- Melissa, can we talk?
- No.
01:41:36.640 --> 01:41:38.404
- Mom, come on, let's go.
- Melissa!
01:41:38.800 --> 01:41:40.882
Why are you being so rude?
01:41:41.080 --> 01:41:43.686
Do you have your period?
Do you need a tampin?
01:41:43.880 --> 01:41:46.884
Mom, I don't need a tampin.
I don't want to be near these people.
01:41:47.120 --> 01:41:49.248
- Kenny. Let's go.
- We should get out of here.
01:41:49.560 --> 01:41:52.484
- What happened last night was wrong.
- Oh, boy.
01:41:54.400 --> 01:41:56.004
Oh, my God, she knows.
01:41:57.720 --> 01:41:59.802
My daughter knows what we've done.
01:42:00.880 --> 01:42:04.043
Melissa, yes, it was wrong of me
to fondle Mrs. Miller's breasts.
01:42:04.640 --> 01:42:08.406
You're right. I'm not gonna deny that it
gave me a certain amount of pleasure.
01:42:08.640 --> 01:42:13.726
That said, your father and I are struggling
with some serious intimacy issues.
01:42:13.920 --> 01:42:15.046
Okay, no, stop!
01:42:15.240 --> 01:42:16.765
I'm not as tight as I once was.
01:42:16.960 --> 01:42:19.361
- Look...
- He just falls right out.
01:42:19.560 --> 01:42:21.608
It's like throwing a hot dog
down a hallway.
01:42:21.800 --> 01:42:23.962
Ew! What are you talking about?
01:42:24.160 --> 01:42:28.484
I saw Kenny making out with his sister
and mother while their dad watched.
01:42:29.840 --> 01:42:31.410
What? Oh, my--!
01:42:31.600 --> 01:42:34.729
- It wasn't quite like that.
- That's not exactly what happened.
01:42:34.960 --> 01:42:37.850
Rose isn't my mom, she's not
my sister. We're not a real family.
01:42:38.080 --> 01:42:40.208
That's enough, son!
What are you saying?
01:42:40.400 --> 01:42:43.449
He's been drinking. It's hard
to understand. He's being ridiculous.
01:42:43.640 --> 01:42:46.325
David hired us to help him smuggle drugs
across the border.
01:42:46.520 --> 01:42:48.010
You're drug dealers?
01:42:48.400 --> 01:42:51.370
No! No, we're drug smugglers.
There's a difference.
01:42:51.600 --> 01:42:53.170
There's not a difference.
01:42:53.360 --> 01:42:56.125
Okay, Edie, we can explain, all right?
01:42:56.320 --> 01:42:58.687
This is a small misunderstanding.
It really is.
01:42:58.880 --> 01:43:01.486
When he says "smuggle," he doesn't
know what he's saying.
01:43:01.680 --> 01:43:03.921
- It's not drugs.
- He doesn't know what drugs are.
01:43:04.120 --> 01:43:06.088
Seriously. It's just a little tequila.
01:43:07.480 --> 01:43:08.641
What?
01:43:08.840 --> 01:43:09.887
Oh, my God!
01:43:10.120 --> 01:43:13.806
- Hey. Ah, thank God you're alive.
- He's got a gun!
01:43:14.040 --> 01:43:16.202
Listen! Hey, hey, hey.
No, no! Wait, wait, wait!
01:43:21.960 --> 01:43:23.291
This is gonna be fun!
01:43:35.640 --> 01:43:37.210
I still got it.
01:43:37.400 --> 01:43:39.084
Don's a badass.
01:43:39.800 --> 01:43:42.007
Oh, Don.
01:43:43.880 --> 01:43:45.644
Melissa, go find a police officer.
01:43:47.240 --> 01:43:48.810
Okay, Don. Don, listen to me.
01:43:49.000 --> 01:43:51.401
No. Drug smuggling, David?
01:43:51.600 --> 01:43:53.568
And to think of the moment we shared.
01:43:53.760 --> 01:43:55.205
No, Don, there's another guy.
01:43:55.720 --> 01:43:57.484
I don't want to hear about other men!
01:43:58.120 --> 01:44:01.522
What? No! No, no! No! There's
another guy trying to kill us!
01:44:01.720 --> 01:44:03.131
What? Who?
01:44:03.320 --> 01:44:04.481
Pablo Chacon.
01:44:05.120 --> 01:44:06.167
Pablo Chacon.
01:44:06.360 --> 01:44:07.486
Buenas noches, Millers.
01:44:07.680 --> 01:44:09.364
What is he saying?
What does that mean?
01:44:09.560 --> 01:44:11.289
It's a familiar Mexican greeting.
01:44:11.480 --> 01:44:14.643
You in the short jeans
and the funny mustache, give me the gun.
01:44:15.920 --> 01:44:17.126
Melissa.
01:44:19.920 --> 01:44:21.081
And the mug.
01:44:24.080 --> 01:44:25.320
Please don't hurt her.
01:44:26.160 --> 01:44:29.050
- Take her.
- Are you okay? It's okay.
01:44:32.720 --> 01:44:33.926
Now the keys, please.
01:44:34.480 --> 01:44:35.606
Here. Here, here, here.
01:44:35.920 --> 01:44:39.163
Okay, great. You have your drugs,
so you don't have to kill us.
01:44:39.360 --> 01:44:41.124
Oh, I don't have to kill you, huh?
01:44:41.360 --> 01:44:42.407
You take my drugs.
01:44:42.600 --> 01:44:45.570
You make me cross the border into
this fucked-up country.
01:44:45.760 --> 01:44:47.922
You try to burn my face with steam!
01:44:48.120 --> 01:44:50.407
- I'm sorry.
- You destroy my car!
01:44:52.240 --> 01:44:56.006
And I don't like what you do to my man
every time we meet.
01:44:58.320 --> 01:45:00.402
You are the worst family I've ever met.
01:45:02.080 --> 01:45:04.242
But, you're right, I don't have to kill you.
01:45:06.800 --> 01:45:09.167
I want to kill you. All of you.
01:45:09.560 --> 01:45:11.403
Stop. Stop.
01:45:13.040 --> 01:45:15.930
Don't do this. Don't kill these people.
01:45:17.000 --> 01:45:20.607
This is all my fault. I'm the one that
did this. I'm the drug dealer here.
01:45:20.800 --> 01:45:22.165
This is an innocent family...
01:45:22.360 --> 01:45:24.601
...in the wrong place
at the wrong time. Okay?
01:45:25.920 --> 01:45:27.206
And this kid?
01:45:27.520 --> 01:45:30.649
This kid's got the biggest fucking heart
I've ever seen in my life.
01:45:31.480 --> 01:45:33.130
And I'm lucky to call him a friend.
01:45:33.440 --> 01:45:37.286
Man, an hour ago, I would have killed
this girl for you.
01:45:37.480 --> 01:45:40.609
But she's tough as hell.
And a lot smarter than me.
01:45:41.880 --> 01:45:43.166
And this one.
01:45:44.760 --> 01:45:47.491
You. Sarah.
01:45:48.520 --> 01:45:50.727
You're the strongest woman
I've ever met.
01:45:50.920 --> 01:45:52.684
And you'd make a great mom.
01:45:55.320 --> 01:45:56.845
I love all of them.
01:45:58.920 --> 01:46:00.160
Don't kill them.
01:46:00.720 --> 01:46:01.926
Please.
01:46:03.120 --> 01:46:04.451
Just kill me.
01:46:05.360 --> 01:46:07.806
- Tell you what, I'll make a deal, okay?
- Okay.
01:46:08.040 --> 01:46:10.407
I kill you first so you don't
watch your family die.
01:46:21.480 --> 01:46:23.005
David.
01:46:31.720 --> 01:46:33.563
Kenny! That was amazing!
01:46:40.360 --> 01:46:42.089
I'd like to think I taught him that.
01:46:42.720 --> 01:46:45.326
- Mm.
- I know I taught him that.
01:46:47.120 --> 01:46:49.088
Put that tongue back in your mouth,
young man.
01:46:50.880 --> 01:46:52.120
Oh.
01:46:52.320 --> 01:46:54.163
Wow.
01:46:54.360 --> 01:46:56.886
- You kiss a lot better than my sister.
- Hey!
01:46:59.040 --> 01:47:00.326
- One, two, three.
- Mm-hm.
01:47:09.720 --> 01:47:13.691
Well, Mr. Chacon, on behalf
of the United States of America...
01:47:13.880 --> 01:47:15.928
...I'd like to welcome you to our country.
01:47:16.120 --> 01:47:17.531
Grab a seat.
01:47:18.560 --> 01:47:20.927
Sorry you won't get to experience
the freedom part.
01:47:21.320 --> 01:47:23.368
Don, you're my hero.
01:47:27.320 --> 01:47:29.163
I want you to use those zip ties tonight.
01:47:43.120 --> 01:47:44.167
Here.
01:47:44.960 --> 01:47:46.246
Thank you, David.
01:47:48.880 --> 01:47:51.167
- We're gonna go.
- Not so fast.
01:47:51.400 --> 01:47:52.606
- Oh, no, Don.
- Dad, please.
01:47:52.800 --> 01:47:54.245
Girls, hush.
01:47:57.040 --> 01:47:58.929
I believe that you are good people.
01:47:59.120 --> 01:48:01.282
But you broke the law. All of you.
01:48:01.560 --> 01:48:05.007
And worse than that, you put my wife
and daughter's lives in danger.
01:48:05.560 --> 01:48:08.404
- Sorry.
- Gonna have to place you under arrest.
01:48:08.600 --> 01:48:09.840
- Don, why?
- No, Dad, don't.
01:48:10.080 --> 01:48:11.525
And I'm gonna do just that...
01:48:12.480 --> 01:48:14.369
...right after I turn around...
01:48:15.280 --> 01:48:16.566
...and hug my family.
01:48:29.160 --> 01:48:30.685
David, come on.
01:48:38.480 --> 01:48:39.686
It's all here!
01:48:40.080 --> 01:48:42.560
I am blown away, David. Great job.
01:48:43.000 --> 01:48:45.162
But it's late.
01:48:45.600 --> 01:48:48.524
Deadline was last night, so,
sorry, buddy, no deal.
01:48:49.480 --> 01:48:52.484
Brad, I almost got killed
over this shit. Twice.
01:48:52.680 --> 01:48:56.480
I'm not gonna be an asshole about this.
I got two tons of premium weed.
01:48:56.840 --> 01:49:00.526
Yes! And you got Chacon
pinched in the process...
01:49:00.760 --> 01:49:03.843
...which is a huge win for team Brad.
- Mm-hm.
01:49:04.040 --> 01:49:07.169
So how about we shake hands
and call it even.
01:49:09.920 --> 01:49:13.811
- You were never gonna pay me, were you?
- Oh! Bingo. Heh-heh.
01:49:15.120 --> 01:49:17.361
Was that a dick move?
I can't even tell anymore.
01:49:20.640 --> 01:49:22.404
- Move!
- Go! Go! Go!
01:49:23.240 --> 01:49:24.287
DEA!
01:49:25.200 --> 01:49:27.407
- Down, down, down!
- Get on the ground! Freeze!
01:49:29.560 --> 01:49:31.050
Clear!
01:49:33.320 --> 01:49:34.481
You double-crossed me.
01:49:34.800 --> 01:49:36.370
Kind of a dick move, right?
01:49:37.440 --> 01:49:39.010
You got nothing on me!
01:49:39.280 --> 01:49:40.691
Nothing at all.
01:49:41.680 --> 01:49:44.251
Oh, shit! Look at this guy.
01:49:44.440 --> 01:49:46.329
Who let in 50 Cent?
01:49:47.920 --> 01:49:50.082
- Nice work, David.
- Thank you, Don.
01:49:50.280 --> 01:49:52.328
Now, I know you don't get your money...
01:49:52.560 --> 01:49:55.689
...but doing the right thing
had to feel a whole lot better.
01:49:56.080 --> 01:49:57.491
No.
01:49:58.080 --> 01:49:59.445
All right, maybe a little bit.
01:49:59.640 --> 01:50:04.089
As promised, in exchange for your
testimony against Chacon and Gurdlinger...
01:50:04.320 --> 01:50:07.563
...we have to keep you in witness protection
for three to six months.
01:50:07.760 --> 01:50:10.206
- Just me?
- Just you.
01:50:12.760 --> 01:50:16.651
Oh. And any other witnesses to the crime.
01:50:27.480 --> 01:50:29.244
- There you are.
- I don't care.
01:50:29.440 --> 01:50:31.442
- Look at this hot nerd.
- Rub some dirt on it.
01:50:31.680 --> 01:50:33.170
- What are you doing?
- Look at this.
01:50:35.360 --> 01:50:39.206
You gotta tell Casey to stop posting
this stuff. It's already got a million hits...
01:50:39.560 --> 01:50:40.766
...and growing.
01:50:40.960 --> 01:50:43.930
Okay, okay, I'll tell her after lunch.
Oof, you know what else?
01:50:44.120 --> 01:50:45.690
I can see down your tank top.
01:50:52.440 --> 01:50:53.521
- Hey there.
- Hey.
01:50:53.720 --> 01:50:56.803
- Wanted to introduce ourselves. I'm Dan.
- Hey, Dan.
01:50:57.040 --> 01:50:58.883
My wife, Kathy. We just moved in.
01:50:59.320 --> 01:51:00.685
- Hello.
- We're the Johnsons.
01:51:00.920 --> 01:51:03.002
Oh, great. Welcome to the neighborhood.
01:51:03.440 --> 01:51:04.965
Hey, guys. Come here.
01:51:05.160 --> 01:51:06.286
Come meet our neighbors.
01:51:06.480 --> 01:51:07.527
I'm David.
01:51:07.920 --> 01:51:09.888
And this is my family right here.
01:51:10.040 --> 01:51:11.280
This is my son, Kenny.
01:51:11.440 --> 01:51:12.646
My daughter, Casey.
01:51:12.800 --> 01:51:15.326
- And this is my wife, Sarah.
- Nice to meet you.
01:51:15.520 --> 01:51:18.046
- We're the Millers.
- Ah. Pleasure.
01:51:18.200 --> 01:51:20.567
Thanks for saying hi.
All right, take care now.
01:51:20.720 --> 01:51:22.609
- See you soon. Bye.
- Bye.
01:51:22.920 --> 01:51:25.127
- I don't like them.
- I don't like them either.
01:51:25.320 --> 01:51:27.721
Why introduce yourself?
I mean, who the fuck are you?
01:51:27.880 --> 01:51:30.884
I can't believe this.
We're stuck in the suburbs.
01:51:31.040 --> 01:51:35.045
Now, this sucks. I can't wait for the
trial to be over. Gotta get outta here.
01:51:40.400 --> 01:51:41.447
Stick to the big A.
01:51:41.600 --> 01:51:43.170
- Anal.
- Abstinence, you meant.
01:51:43.320 --> 01:51:45.129
- Neither makes a baby.
- He confuses--
01:51:45.280 --> 01:51:47.965
Oscars! For all of you!
01:51:48.120 --> 01:51:51.124
That's very nice of you, but we're
not that good of an actor, no.
01:51:54.600 --> 01:51:56.887
- Those guys are picking on that girl.
- Where?
01:51:59.520 --> 01:52:01.568
- I'll never forget these moments.
- What?
01:52:01.720 --> 01:52:04.200
- And I hope you don't either.
- Ha-ha-ha.
01:52:04.640 --> 01:52:05.880
And, action.
01:52:08.040 --> 01:52:09.963
It takes two men to open this
mini-fridge.
01:52:10.520 --> 01:52:12.568
Aah!
01:52:12.720 --> 01:52:16.611
It's literally so hard!
01:52:17.800 --> 01:52:20.041
- Okay, you guys, seriously, you're mak--
Ha-ha-ha!
01:52:20.440 --> 01:52:21.487
Look, look, look.
01:52:22.960 --> 01:52:24.769
- Ha, ha!
- Leave the girls alone.
01:52:24.960 --> 01:52:28.089
What are you gonna do, freckles?
What are you gonna do, Don Knotts?
01:52:28.240 --> 01:52:30.322
What are you gonna do,
guy with great posture?
01:52:32.640 --> 01:52:34.802
Ow! Broke my nose!
01:52:35.160 --> 01:52:37.401
I'm terrified of blood,
you know what I'm saying?
01:52:37.760 --> 01:52:40.684
You just deviated my septum,
you know what I'm saying?
01:52:40.840 --> 01:52:44.287
Uh, I want a Band-Aid.
01:52:45.680 --> 01:52:47.762
- Closed?
- They're closed. Till morning.
01:52:47.920 --> 01:52:50.400
Oklahoma.
Oh, poop.
01:52:50.560 --> 01:52:52.642
Cheese and rice.
Ants on a log.
01:52:52.800 --> 01:52:55.121
Poop on a Popsicle.
Oh, cock marbles.
01:52:55.280 --> 01:52:58.170
- Oh, fuck.
Ha-ha-ha.
01:53:12.800 --> 01:53:15.451
It just stopped at a certain point...
01:53:15.640 --> 01:53:18.041
...and you just couldn't insert it any more.
01:53:18.200 --> 01:53:21.363
Well, I just looked like I had,
like, a Stormtrooper dick.
01:53:24.800 --> 01:53:27.849
So I'm just gonna-- There we go.
There they are.
01:53:28.000 --> 01:53:29.081
This is crazy.
01:53:29.280 --> 01:53:32.363
Those are just gorgeous, gorgeous,
gorgeous breasts.
01:53:34.880 --> 01:53:36.564
Cut! All right. Cut.
01:53:37.200 --> 01:53:38.929
- And, action.
- Whoo!
01:53:39.120 --> 01:53:42.010
- How about a little victory music, shall we?
- Yes, please.
01:53:45.160 --> 01:53:46.810
- I love this song!
- This is awesome!
01:53:50.360 --> 01:53:55.127
You're job's a joke, you're broke
Your love life's D.O.A.
01:53:55.280 --> 01:53:58.284
I'll be there for you
01:53:58.440 --> 01:53:59.965
When the rain starts to fall
01:54:00.120 --> 01:54:03.283
I'll be there for you
01:54:03.480 --> 01:54:06.006
'Cause you're there for me too
01:54:06.160 --> 01:54:08.527
That was really good.
01:54:10.440 --> 01:54:12.681
That's very funny.
01:58:23.160 --> 01:58:25.208
Adios, Millers.