WEBVTT
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And now,
it's time for a breakdown.
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Mmm, mmm, mmm, yeah...
00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:45.072
Man, I told you Robbie Wheirdicht
showers here during first period.
00:01:45.240 --> 00:01:47.959
Why doesn't he just shower at home
like a normal person?
00:01:48.520 --> 00:01:50.033
Look at him.
00:01:50.200 --> 00:01:52.031
Does anything about that
look normal to you?
00:01:53.720 --> 00:01:56.439
You know, he's actually
a pretty good dancer.
00:01:59.240 --> 00:02:01.356
I mean, fuck that guy is different!
00:02:04.360 --> 00:02:05.360
Let's wreck him.
00:02:05.800 --> 00:02:07.870
Hey, Weird Dick!
00:02:08.200 --> 00:02:09.200
Come on.
00:02:10.160 --> 00:02:11.840
Finally, young ladies and young gentlemen,
00:02:11.960 --> 00:02:15.839
it is my pleasure
to announce that the winner
00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:19.117
of the National High School
Student of the Year Award
00:02:19.320 --> 00:02:20.799
is none other than your very own
00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:22.837
two-time student body president,
00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:26.470
the captain of
Central High's All Valley track team,
00:02:26.640 --> 00:02:28.153
president of the drama club
00:02:28.320 --> 00:02:31.756
and the senior voted
"Most Likely to Succeed."
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:34.468
I gotta tell you folks,
after 40 years as an educator,
00:02:34.640 --> 00:02:36.471
he is my favorite student.
00:02:37.160 --> 00:02:38.354
I wish he were my son
00:02:38.520 --> 00:02:40.670
if I were medically able to have children.
00:02:42.640 --> 00:02:45.279
He's everybody's
favorite all-around guy...
00:02:45.440 --> 00:02:47.317
Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner! Come on!
00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:12.515
Golden Jet!
Golden Jet! Golden Jet!
00:03:13.360 --> 00:03:14.679
Oh, my goodness.
00:03:15.160 --> 00:03:17.515
Wow! Wow, guys.
00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:20.478
Hey! How about a hand
for Principal Kent, huh?
00:03:20.640 --> 00:03:21.675
Huh?
00:03:22.240 --> 00:03:24.708
Honestly, if my mom
was into white guys, it would be you.
00:03:24.880 --> 00:03:25.880
I know it would, okay?
00:03:28.520 --> 00:03:31.512
Well, as we all know,
this is our last assembly,
00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:34.752
which means this is the last time
in front of you guys
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that I'll be able to tell
the most beautiful girl in the world...
00:03:37.840 --> 00:03:39.876
I'm talking about you, Maggie Johnson,
00:03:40.040 --> 00:03:43.555
that I love you. I love you, baby. I do.
00:03:43.720 --> 00:03:45.551
I'm gonna put it in my pocket.
00:03:45.720 --> 00:03:47.360
I'll save it.
00:03:47.480 --> 00:03:48.480
Okay.
00:03:49.880 --> 00:03:52.075
All right, guys. We're seniors now.
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And once we get those diplomas,
00:03:55.040 --> 00:03:57.998
the decisions that we make after that
are all up to us.
00:03:58.520 --> 00:04:00.909
I don't know what path
life is gonna take me on.
00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:02.593
But I can promise you all this...
00:04:02.800 --> 00:04:04.438
That I, for one, will push myself
00:04:04.600 --> 00:04:06.477
at every stage, at every step.
00:04:06.680 --> 00:04:09.148
So, I got one question to ask.
00:04:09.480 --> 00:04:12.756
I got one question for
the graduating class of 1996
00:04:12.920 --> 00:04:14.194
and that's "Will you..."
00:04:15.240 --> 00:04:16.958
Check out my Weird Dick!
00:04:41.480 --> 00:04:44.278
Hey. Here, here, man.
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Thank you.
00:05:03.680 --> 00:05:05.955
Well, there's no coming back from that.
00:05:07.840 --> 00:05:08.955
Calvin Joyner, everybody,
00:05:09.160 --> 00:05:11.833
voted "Most Likely to Succeed."
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Golden Jet!
Golden Jet! Golden Jet!
00:06:05.760 --> 00:06:07.273
Yo. Check it.
00:06:07.800 --> 00:06:09.416
Oh, come on, man.
I don't want to see that.
00:06:09.440 --> 00:06:10.440
Oh, no, no, it's my dick.
00:06:10.640 --> 00:06:12.320
I know what it is. I don't want to see it.
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Hilarious.
00:06:13.760 --> 00:06:15.360
No, I'm working on this new sexting app.
00:06:15.400 --> 00:06:16.616
It's kind of like Instagram, right?
00:06:16.640 --> 00:06:17.755
But, instead of filters,
00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:19.280
it just makes your junk look huge.
00:06:19.440 --> 00:06:21.317
Like, three to six inches bigger.
00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:24.068
It's called "Junk Mail." Clever, right?
00:06:24.320 --> 00:06:26.400
- No, and here's why...
- Sorry, hang on, one second.
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I'm just gonna...
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What are you doing?
00:06:33.680 --> 00:06:36.513
Okay, and send.
00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:38.600
Sorry, you were saying something boring.
00:06:38.760 --> 00:06:39.988
You just sent a dick pic.
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It's called dating, grandma. Look it up.
00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:43.990
Why are you all cranky-pants
this morning, huh?
00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:46.594
Oh. It's because Ethan got promoted
instead of you?
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Ethan got promoted?
00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:51.376
Youngest senior associate
in the history of the firm.
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Corner office, the whole deal.
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Didn't he used to be your assistant?
00:06:55.840 --> 00:06:57.956
Who cares? Hey, you should
come to lunch with us.
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We're gonna be celebrating his pro-mosh!
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It'll probably be good for you
to kiss the ring a bit.
00:07:02.280 --> 00:07:03.633
"Kiss the ring a bit"?
00:07:03.800 --> 00:07:05.880
Hey, you play your chessboard
however you like, okay?
00:07:06.440 --> 00:07:09.352
Me, lunch today?
I'm gonna French kiss that thing.
00:07:09.600 --> 00:07:10.828
Aah...
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I can't. I'm taking my wife
to lunch today, so...
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All right. Bummer for you.
00:07:20.040 --> 00:07:21.075
Right?
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Can you just get out of my face?
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#Blessed.
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To a guy I not only consider my coworker,
00:07:40.520 --> 00:07:41.873
but my personal friend.
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- To Ethan!
- Cheers!
00:07:46.680 --> 00:07:48.616
Do you wanna move tables?
I know this kind of sucks.
00:07:48.640 --> 00:07:50.358
No, no. It doesn't suck.
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Hey, if I wanted to get
one of those ice teas
00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:54.136
but I want most of it to be bourbon...
What is that called?
00:07:54.160 --> 00:07:57.869
Okay. How about we change the topic
to something a little more fun?
00:07:58.240 --> 00:07:59.798
Anything else, please.
00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:01.149
Oh, how about...
00:08:01.320 --> 00:08:03.390
This is the dress
that I'm thinking about wearing.
00:08:04.200 --> 00:08:05.200
Oh!
00:08:05.360 --> 00:08:06.576
Honey, I want every single girl
00:08:06.600 --> 00:08:08.113
to be jealous tomorrow night.
00:08:08.600 --> 00:08:09.635
Oh.
00:08:09.960 --> 00:08:10.960
What?
00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:12.480
I just... I just don't want to go.
00:08:12.640 --> 00:08:14.551
Calvin, it's our 20-year
high school reunion.
00:08:14.760 --> 00:08:15.920
I'm not gonna go without you.
00:08:16.080 --> 00:08:18.196
We agreed we were going. I RSVP'd for us.
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I just changed my mind. That's all.
00:08:21.160 --> 00:08:22.513
Okay. I see.
00:08:22.680 --> 00:08:25.069
You're disappointed
about the promotion. I get it.
00:08:25.240 --> 00:08:27.231
This is not about the promotion.
00:08:27.440 --> 00:08:30.034
Okay, this has to do with me
not wanting to spend my Friday night
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answering the
"What are you doing now?" question.
00:08:32.040 --> 00:08:33.280
That's what I'll get all night.
00:08:33.320 --> 00:08:35.216
"Hey, Calvin, what are you doing now?"
"I'm an accountant."
00:08:35.240 --> 00:08:36.309
"An accountant? Really?
00:08:36.480 --> 00:08:37.976
"I thought you would be the governor, man.
00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:40.440
"Wait a minute. Didn't you get voted
'Most Likely to Succeed'?
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"I guess we missed that one."
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Is this why you've been
so weird and moody lately?
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'Cause you're freaking out
about the reunion?
00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:46.240
- No.
- And what's the matter
00:08:46.320 --> 00:08:48.016
with being an accountant?
You love your job.
00:08:48.040 --> 00:08:49.519
No, you love your job.
00:08:49.680 --> 00:08:51.376
I'm good at my job.
It's not the same thing.
00:08:51.400 --> 00:08:52.400
Honey, that's not fair.
00:08:52.560 --> 00:08:54.198
You're a partner at your firm.
00:08:54.360 --> 00:08:56.635
Instead, I work
in a building with a giant,
00:08:56.800 --> 00:08:58.320
inflatable gorilla out in front of it.
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Look, I don't want to be
the guy that peaked in high school
00:09:00.360 --> 00:09:02.316
and, after he peaked,
his life went like this...
00:09:05.080 --> 00:09:06.816
I don't know the sound
that that thing makes,
00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:07.976
but you know what I'm trying to do.
00:09:08.000 --> 00:09:09.320
I'm the guy that went down, okay?
00:09:09.360 --> 00:09:10.395
- Yeah.
- Then my life
00:09:10.560 --> 00:09:11.920
down here became a disappointment.
00:09:12.080 --> 00:09:13.274
That's what I'll be.
00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:14.440
Wow.
00:09:15.520 --> 00:09:16.520
What?
00:09:16.680 --> 00:09:18.056
I had no idea that your life with me
00:09:18.080 --> 00:09:20.548
was such a soundless,
crashing disappointment!
00:09:20.720 --> 00:09:22.358
Don't do that.
00:09:22.520 --> 00:09:24.480
- That's not... Don't do that.
- That's the sound.
00:09:24.600 --> 00:09:26.256
You want to know the sound
I'm about to make right now?
00:09:26.280 --> 00:09:27.349
The sound of me not going.
00:09:27.520 --> 00:09:28.919
That's the sound I'm making.
00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:31.240
I'm not going.
00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:35.240
Yeah.
00:09:44.160 --> 00:09:45.878
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
00:09:52.040 --> 00:09:53.040
No.
00:09:54.440 --> 00:09:56.158
Not going to that.
00:10:04.120 --> 00:10:05.269
Bob Stone?
00:10:15.640 --> 00:10:16.789
Okay.
00:10:27.240 --> 00:10:28.240
Hello?
00:10:28.440 --> 00:10:30.795
- Hey.
- Girl, you scared me.
00:10:31.080 --> 00:10:33.594
- I did?
- Yes. I thought that you were...
00:10:34.680 --> 00:10:36.636
I just... On the...
00:10:37.240 --> 00:10:39.959
Never mind. Hey, I'm glad you called.
00:10:40.160 --> 00:10:42.390
I'm sorry about lunch today.
00:10:43.200 --> 00:10:44.235
I'm an idiot, babe.
00:10:44.400 --> 00:10:46.176
I don't even know
what's going on with me right now.
00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:47.713
- I really don't.
- Yeah?
00:10:47.880 --> 00:10:49.871
Actually, honey,
00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:51.920
that's what I was calling
to talk to you about.
00:10:52.480 --> 00:10:55.517
Look, honey, I think that
we should see someone.
00:10:56.560 --> 00:10:59.552
What do you mean, "Someone"?
What do you mean?
00:10:59.760 --> 00:11:01.830
See someone, like a therapist.
00:11:02.200 --> 00:11:04.316
Honey, black people don't go to therapy.
00:11:05.160 --> 00:11:06.559
We go to barbershops.
00:11:06.720 --> 00:11:08.240
That's where we talk out our problems.
00:11:08.400 --> 00:11:10.709
Or we watch the movie Barbershop.
One or the other.
00:11:10.880 --> 00:11:12.438
Look, my parents were really unhappy
00:11:12.600 --> 00:11:14.511
for a long time before they got divorced.
00:11:14.680 --> 00:11:18.150
And maybe if they saw someone sooner,
they would still be married.
00:11:19.520 --> 00:11:21.416
I just want to nip this thing in the bud,
whatever it is.
00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:23.040
I don't want to end up like my parents.
00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:27.118
Wassup?
00:11:33.640 --> 00:11:35.835
Please, just do it for me,
if not for you.
00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:38.109
All right. Uh...
00:11:38.960 --> 00:11:41.918
- When? When do you want to do it?
- Really?
00:11:42.440 --> 00:11:44.237
The doctor said
he could see us at 6:00 p.m.
00:11:44.920 --> 00:11:47.275
Um... 6:00 p. m., when? Tonight?
00:11:47.440 --> 00:11:49.271
Yeah. Yeah, is that a problem?
00:11:49.440 --> 00:11:53.353
Holy shit! Robbie Wheirdicht?
00:11:54.160 --> 00:11:56.879
Calvin, honey? Hello?
00:11:57.040 --> 00:11:58.473
Um, yeah.
00:11:58.640 --> 00:12:01.552
I can't. I already
made plans for tonight, baby.
00:12:01.720 --> 00:12:03.950
- Plans with who?
- With Bob Stone.
00:12:04.160 --> 00:12:06.151
Who's Bob Stone?
That sounds like a fake name.
00:12:06.320 --> 00:12:09.630
No, no. You remember
Robbie Wheirdicht, from high school?
00:12:09.800 --> 00:12:10.800
No.
00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:13.016
The guy who got beaten up
by Trisha Demarco at homecoming?
00:12:13.040 --> 00:12:14.075
No.
00:12:14.240 --> 00:12:16.696
The kid that tried to rap along to
Coolio's 1,2,3,4 at the talent show
00:12:16.720 --> 00:12:18.456
but then he kinda lost his way,
midway through
00:12:18.480 --> 00:12:20.256
so he just started bopping his head,
and he stood there?
00:12:20.280 --> 00:12:21.793
No. Nothing.
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:24.296
The guy who got thrown out the gym,
butt-ass-naked, senior year?
00:12:24.320 --> 00:12:25.320
Oh, my God, yeah!
00:12:25.480 --> 00:12:27.118
Why wouldn't you start with that?
00:12:27.320 --> 00:12:29.216
Because I thought that was kind of mean.
I don't know.
00:12:29.240 --> 00:12:30.736
He never came back
to school after that, right?
00:12:30.760 --> 00:12:32.955
Like, not for finals
or graduation or anything.
00:12:33.160 --> 00:12:34.991
Didn't he join the military or something?
00:12:35.160 --> 00:12:37.071
I'm not sure.
I don't know if he did or not,
00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:39.595
but he changed his name to "Bob Stone"
00:12:39.760 --> 00:12:41.960
and apparently he's in town
for the high school reunion.
00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:44.216
He wants to go to dinner tonight,
and I kinda already said "yes."
00:12:44.240 --> 00:12:45.376
- Okay.
- If you want me to cancel,
00:12:45.400 --> 00:12:46.833
I will. You know?
00:12:47.000 --> 00:12:48.520
If that's what you want, I don't mind.
00:12:49.080 --> 00:12:51.150
Mmm-mmm. I mean,
it's a little weird, but whatever.
00:12:51.320 --> 00:12:53.675
I'll just see if the doctor
can fit us in tomorrow.
00:12:53.840 --> 00:12:55.956
- How about at lunch time?
- Okay. All right, fine.
00:12:56.120 --> 00:12:57.348
Okay, good. I love you.
00:12:57.520 --> 00:12:59.238
I love you, too, babe. I do.
00:13:04.920 --> 00:13:05.976
- Oh, my...
- What is that?
00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:07.797
- Okay.
- Calvin? Are you...
00:13:07.960 --> 00:13:08.960
Love you. Bye-bye.
00:13:12.080 --> 00:13:13.080
No!
00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:14.874
Stop, stop!
00:13:15.240 --> 00:13:16.434
Hey, man. I...
00:13:16.640 --> 00:13:18.676
Hey! What's up, guys?
00:13:19.200 --> 00:13:21.794
Congratulations on that promotion, man.
00:13:21.960 --> 00:13:22.960
It's quite the thing.
00:13:23.360 --> 00:13:25.954
Thank you.
Hey, that's not work appropriate.
00:13:26.280 --> 00:13:27.280
Yup.
00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:29.032
Not cool, man. Not cool.
00:13:32.560 --> 00:13:34.232
Hey, forward that to me.
00:13:45.760 --> 00:13:47.000
For real man, seriously?
00:13:47.080 --> 00:13:48.752
Yeah. Watch it, punk.
00:13:51.240 --> 00:13:52.639
Excuse you, too.
00:14:12.400 --> 00:14:13.400
My man!
00:14:13.560 --> 00:14:14.959
Back the fuck up!
00:14:15.800 --> 00:14:17.153
- Whoa!
- Back up, man!
00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:19.317
Fine. I'll give you these fists.
00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:20.715
I'll fist your ass.
00:14:21.040 --> 00:14:22.439
Calvin. It's me, Bob.
00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:25.431
What? Sorry, do I know you?
00:14:26.400 --> 00:14:27.400
Do you know...
00:14:27.560 --> 00:14:30.552
Robbie Wheirdicht from high school!
00:14:31.720 --> 00:14:33.392
Are you kidding? What?
00:14:33.880 --> 00:14:36.269
- Wait, you're Robbie Wheirdicht?
- Yeah!
00:14:37.040 --> 00:14:39.713
God, man, look at you!
You've lost, like, 200 pounds!
00:14:39.880 --> 00:14:41.472
I see you gained it back in muscle.
00:14:41.640 --> 00:14:43.232
Oh, my God! You look great!
00:14:43.520 --> 00:14:45.317
- No, you look great!
- Stop it.
00:14:45.480 --> 00:14:47.835
No, you haven't changed
since high school, dude!
00:14:48.120 --> 00:14:51.237
No, you're just sexy as dick right now.
00:14:51.400 --> 00:14:53.436
You don't look somebody
in the eyes and say that.
00:14:53.600 --> 00:14:54.635
Hey, let's get hammered.
00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:57.036
I got an early day at work,
so I'll probably...
00:14:57.200 --> 00:14:58.269
No, come on, I'm buying!
00:14:58.440 --> 00:14:59.440
Oh, shit.
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.000
Mmm.
00:15:01.560 --> 00:15:04.028
I'm sorry, man. I am blown away right now.
00:15:04.400 --> 00:15:06.391
Dude, you used to be Fat Robbie.
00:15:06.640 --> 00:15:08.870
Look at you!
This is like a total transformation.
00:15:09.040 --> 00:15:10.678
You look like Hercules or somebody.
00:15:10.840 --> 00:15:12.336
What did you do? Come on, give it to me.
00:15:12.360 --> 00:15:14.316
- I didn't do much, really.
- Stop it.
00:15:14.840 --> 00:15:16.831
All right. I just did one thing.
00:15:17.160 --> 00:15:18.195
Come on, I need to know.
00:15:18.640 --> 00:15:20.835
I worked out six hours a day, every day,
00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:22.479
for the last 20 years straight.
00:15:24.120 --> 00:15:26.634
- I mean, anybody can do it, right?
- Yeah.
00:15:27.720 --> 00:15:31.554
Yeah. You know, I've gotten into hot yoga.
00:15:33.240 --> 00:15:34.639
I started doing some sessions.
00:15:34.800 --> 00:15:35.800
Uh-huh.
00:15:37.240 --> 00:15:38.468
Nice unicorn, man.
00:15:38.640 --> 00:15:40.835
Oh, yeah,
I'm big-time into 'corns.
00:15:41.040 --> 00:15:42.155
So magical, right?
00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:44.515
You know, they're the most
lethal animal on the planet.
00:15:44.920 --> 00:15:45.920
Here you go.
00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:48.071
Guys, my name's Lexi.
00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:49.656
Just let me know if you need anything.
00:15:49.680 --> 00:15:50.829
Okay.
00:15:51.160 --> 00:15:54.357
I mean, like, anything at all.
00:15:54.800 --> 00:15:56.199
Okie-dokie.
00:15:56.920 --> 00:15:59.559
You're funny. Do you ever, like, Snapchat?
00:15:59.720 --> 00:16:02.359
- Oh, no. You know...
- I wasn't talking to you.
00:16:03.040 --> 00:16:04.160
No, no, no. I don't do that.
00:16:04.200 --> 00:16:06.714
I'm just catching up
with an old friend from high school.
00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:09.556
Aw. You're so sweet.
00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:12.399
I think unicorns are sexy, too.
00:16:14.880 --> 00:16:16.600
That must happen to you
all the time, right?
00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:18.069
Ah, nah.
00:16:18.600 --> 00:16:20.397
I mean, all that meaningless sex is just...
00:16:20.560 --> 00:16:22.198
It's not my bag anymore, CJ.
00:16:23.480 --> 00:16:25.720
No, now, I'm looking for
more of an emotional connection.
00:16:25.920 --> 00:16:26.989
The next woman I lay with,
00:16:27.160 --> 00:16:28.912
she's gonna be beautiful on the inside,
00:16:29.080 --> 00:16:30.752
just as much as she is on the outside.
00:16:31.640 --> 00:16:32.760
Hey, wait. Whatever happened
00:16:32.880 --> 00:16:34.336
to that girl that you liked
in high school?
00:16:34.360 --> 00:16:36.920
Oh, God, man. The "Doogie Howser" girl.
00:16:37.080 --> 00:16:38.911
She was 14, but somehow she was a senior.
00:16:39.080 --> 00:16:40.195
She wore a cape.
00:16:40.920 --> 00:16:43.150
- Darla McGuckian.
- Darla McGuckian.
00:16:43.320 --> 00:16:45.072
"Yucky Gucky."
00:16:45.360 --> 00:16:47.749
- Didn't she have a lazy eye or something?
- Two of 'em.
00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:49.240
Right.
00:16:49.320 --> 00:16:50.456
Hey, but listen,
I don't wanna talk about me.
00:16:50.480 --> 00:16:51.480
I wanna talk about you.
00:16:51.640 --> 00:16:53.056
I heard that
you and Maggie Johnson got hitched.
00:16:53.080 --> 00:16:54.593
Oh, yeah.
00:16:54.840 --> 00:16:56.558
Yeah, man, right after college.
00:16:56.720 --> 00:17:00.110
Wow! The prettiest girl in school,
and the coolest guy in school!
00:17:00.280 --> 00:17:01.280
Oh, man, I got lucky.
00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:02.896
I mean, you guys are like
a power couple, dude!
00:17:02.920 --> 00:17:04.433
- No, no.
- Yes!
00:17:04.600 --> 00:17:07.433
You're like Taylor Swift
and whoever she's dating right now.
00:17:07.600 --> 00:17:10.068
- Power.
- Uh, thanks!
00:17:10.280 --> 00:17:11.713
Yeah. You guys got kids?
00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:13.273
No. No kids yet.
00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:15.351
We planned on it after college,
00:17:15.520 --> 00:17:18.557
but Maggie went to law school,
I kept changing jobs.
00:17:18.760 --> 00:17:22.116
You know, having kids just
isn't in our cards right now.
00:17:22.280 --> 00:17:23.416
Not at this point, that's all.
00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:24.475
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
00:17:24.840 --> 00:17:28.116
I don't wanna talk about
me and Maggie and myself.
00:17:28.280 --> 00:17:29.680
What about you? What are you doing?
00:17:29.840 --> 00:17:31.880
I didn't even ask you, man.
What do you do for work?
00:17:32.120 --> 00:17:33.473
I'm a government contractor.
00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:36.319
Okay, that's cool.
Like, what, buildings and stuff?
00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:38.240
Yeah, sort of.
00:17:39.120 --> 00:17:40.314
But I kinda just got fired.
00:17:40.640 --> 00:17:42.596
- Oh, shit! I'm sorry, man.
- Oh, it's okay.
00:17:42.760 --> 00:17:45.433
Screw those guys, anyway.
They're way too corporate.
00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:48.478
'Cause dudes like me and you,
I mean, we're alpha dogs, right?
00:17:48.680 --> 00:17:50.511
I mean, we're pathfinders
and trailblazers.
00:17:50.680 --> 00:17:53.353
And we don't listen
to what anyone tells us, right?
00:17:54.840 --> 00:17:56.239
- Yeah, right.
- Yeah.
00:17:56.400 --> 00:18:00.837
I mean, come on, man,
I sorta path-find a little bit
00:18:01.000 --> 00:18:05.118
along certain preapproved parameters
that are given to me.
00:18:05.280 --> 00:18:08.670
I'm willing to path-find
but it's all about how it's set up.
00:18:08.840 --> 00:18:13.231
But within the box that I have, I go nuts.
You'll be surprised.
00:18:13.440 --> 00:18:14.776
I had a guy tell me the other day,
00:18:14.800 --> 00:18:17.633
"Hey, Calvin, you know,
I need those accounting numbers back
00:18:17.800 --> 00:18:19.199
"from, you know, the file."
00:18:19.400 --> 00:18:22.198
- I said, "Go fuck yourself, Jim."
- Yeah.
00:18:22.360 --> 00:18:25.591
I didn't say it
because I wasn't in my box,
00:18:26.360 --> 00:18:29.591
- but I thought about it.
- Exactly! Yeah! Yeah!
00:18:30.160 --> 00:18:31.639
I got an idea. Let's do shots!
00:18:31.800 --> 00:18:32.869
No!
00:18:33.040 --> 00:18:34.792
I'm sorry for saying it like that, but no.
00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:36.720
I haven't had shots
in almost 10 years, man.
00:18:36.840 --> 00:18:39.035
What? Come on, we have to!
We're celebrating!
00:18:40.040 --> 00:18:41.040
Celebrating what?
00:18:41.200 --> 00:18:43.496
Celebrating that I'm hanging
with the coolest kid in high school.
00:18:43.520 --> 00:18:45.351
- Stop it.
- Calvin Joyner!
00:18:45.840 --> 00:18:47.717
The Golden Jet.
00:18:48.960 --> 00:18:51.679
You got to be shitting me. Wow!
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:54.118
I haven't... God!
00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:56.711
It's been forever since I heard that, man!
00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:57.920
- I'll do one.
- All right!
00:18:58.040 --> 00:18:59.040
- One shot.
- Shots!
00:18:59.240 --> 00:19:00.309
No. One shot.
00:19:00.480 --> 00:19:02.550
Just one, okay? Bob, it's been a while.
00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:05.080
Oh, shit! You remember this?
00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:06.713
This was the jammy-jam!
00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:08.871
What's that? Is that a fanny pack, Bob?
00:19:09.080 --> 00:19:10.559
Hell, yeah! Dude, you want one?
00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:12.073
No, it's okay.
00:19:12.240 --> 00:19:13.680
I got two at home. I'll hook you up.
00:19:13.880 --> 00:19:16.030
Leather pack for The Jet.
00:19:16.200 --> 00:19:17.235
Fanny!
00:19:17.400 --> 00:19:18.674
Shit.
00:19:19.320 --> 00:19:21.197
What the hell did I get myself into?
00:19:21.800 --> 00:19:23.358
Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm.
00:19:23.760 --> 00:19:26.399
Hey, sir, somebody's
actually sitting there.
00:19:26.600 --> 00:19:28.750
- Yeah, someone was.
- No! Hey, man!
00:19:29.080 --> 00:19:30.576
Hey, you don't see
the sweatshirt right here?
00:19:30.600 --> 00:19:33.160
- Man, somebody's sitting here.
- Move your meat, lose your seat.
00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:34.496
Dude, you don't
have to be a dick about it.
00:19:34.520 --> 00:19:35.800
Somebody's sitting in the chair.
00:19:36.040 --> 00:19:38.759
Bro, are you seriously
gonna go there, bro?
00:19:39.600 --> 00:19:41.556
'Cause there's only one way back, bro.
00:19:41.720 --> 00:19:43.836
Through intensive care, bro.
00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:47.749
Was that the last "bro"?
'Cause if it was, then I'll talk.
00:19:47.920 --> 00:19:49.194
That supposed to be funny?
00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:50.759
- Dude...
- You a comedian now?
00:19:51.040 --> 00:19:53.076
'Cause you don't look like
Dane Cook to me, bro.
00:19:53.240 --> 00:19:54.719
Hey, now!
00:19:55.520 --> 00:19:56.589
What's the rumpus?
00:19:56.840 --> 00:19:57.976
You know...
There's no problem, man.
00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:00.281
Let's just go to another table.
Get your jacket. Let's go.
00:20:00.600 --> 00:20:02.816
- No, we're not gonna go anywhere.
- Listen to your pussy friend.
00:20:02.840 --> 00:20:05.229
Those gym muscles
aren't scaring anybody, pal.
00:20:05.400 --> 00:20:07.436
- Oh, these?
- Let's just go. It's okay.
00:20:07.640 --> 00:20:10.108
No, we're not gonna go.
This man insulted you.
00:20:10.280 --> 00:20:12.080
And we're not gonna leave
until he apologizes.
00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:14.276
- It's okay.
- Hey, we got a problem here?
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:16.471
- No, no.
- Yeah, we got a big problem.
00:20:16.640 --> 00:20:19.313
Your friend, here,
really insulted my friend
00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:20.520
and he needs to apologize.
00:20:20.640 --> 00:20:21.640
I don't think he does.
00:20:21.800 --> 00:20:22.800
He doesn't.
00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:24.837
Oh, you know what, man?
00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:27.416
I think this whole situation's
getting a little out of control.
00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:28.589
I can fix this whole thing.
00:20:28.760 --> 00:20:31.115
I'll order some nachos. The "Explosions."
00:20:31.280 --> 00:20:33.635
It's got four cheeses!
Let's eat 'em together.
00:20:33.800 --> 00:20:34.960
You know what? You take them.
00:20:35.040 --> 00:20:36.040
Let's go.
00:20:36.200 --> 00:20:37.456
Nah. We're not going anywhere, Jet.
00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:39.080
This whole thing will be over in a jiff.
00:20:39.120 --> 00:20:40.633
Hey, how about this?
00:20:40.840 --> 00:20:43.308
Why don't you and your boyfriend
apologize to Big Rick here
00:20:43.480 --> 00:20:45.675
and then go jerk each other
in the parking lot?
00:20:46.160 --> 00:20:47.160
That's a lot...
00:20:47.280 --> 00:20:48.315
Yeah. You're right, CJ.
00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:51.119
That's a lot of homophobia
coming out of a very angry man.
00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:53.800
You need to go get that looked at
by a trained professional.
00:20:53.960 --> 00:20:56.155
But, since you have
escalated this whole scenario
00:20:56.320 --> 00:20:57.799
by bringing what I can only assume
00:20:57.960 --> 00:21:00.349
is an unlicensed firearm
into this public place,
00:21:00.520 --> 00:21:02.670
endangering the lives
of all these innocent people,
00:21:02.840 --> 00:21:05.638
I can no longer,
in good conscience, walk away
00:21:05.800 --> 00:21:07.518
and jerk anyone off in the parking lot.
00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:09.796
I'm afraid we ain't going anywhere.
00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:11.336
It's time for you to get out of here, pal.
00:21:11.360 --> 00:21:12.793
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:21:13.600 --> 00:21:15.431
There's four of us, tough guy.
00:21:16.200 --> 00:21:17.599
Yeah. I got that.
00:21:18.200 --> 00:21:19.856
All right. Before
this whole thing goes down,
00:21:19.880 --> 00:21:21.096
you should know one thing about me.
00:21:21.120 --> 00:21:22.120
What's that?
00:21:26.040 --> 00:21:27.519
I don't like bullies.
00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:40.029
Let's go, Jet.
00:21:41.120 --> 00:21:42.348
Yes.
00:21:43.840 --> 00:21:46.354
Oh, my God! I hope he's Catholic.
00:21:49.360 --> 00:21:50.873
Oh, my God!
00:21:51.080 --> 00:21:52.513
What the hell was that?
00:21:52.680 --> 00:21:54.696
Bob, that was amazing!
I've never seen anything like that!
00:21:54.720 --> 00:21:56.440
You took the one guy,
you hit him like this.
00:21:56.560 --> 00:21:57.896
He couldn't breathe.
00:21:57.920 --> 00:21:59.319
I sat there, I'm looking at him...
00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:00.896
You talkin' to him like,
"I don't like bullies."
00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:02.616
I was like, "That's not a good line."
But it was!
00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:03.816
I didn't even know you could fight!
00:22:03.840 --> 00:22:06.559
You had a unicorn shirt, a fanny pack,
and it totally worked!
00:22:06.760 --> 00:22:08.910
You were like Jason Bourne,
man, but with jorts!
00:22:09.080 --> 00:22:11.389
How did you do that?
Where'd you learn that stuff?
00:22:11.600 --> 00:22:13.397
I took a couple classes at work.
00:22:13.600 --> 00:22:14.919
I hope I didn't go too far.
00:22:15.080 --> 00:22:16.336
I'm sorry about ruining the night, Jet.
00:22:16.360 --> 00:22:19.238
Ruin my night?
No! It was the coolest thing ever, man!
00:22:19.440 --> 00:22:20.839
- Really?
- Yes!
00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:23.400
To see my boy go in and whoop ass
on those idiots back there.
00:22:23.480 --> 00:22:24.629
Dude, that was amazing!
00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:26.711
Wait, we're boys?
00:22:27.360 --> 00:22:28.429
Yeah, we boys.
00:22:30.080 --> 00:22:31.115
Wow. I...
00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:34.000
Never had a boy.
00:22:36.560 --> 00:22:38.835
- That's awesome! Come here!
- Oh, wait.
00:22:39.840 --> 00:22:41.512
Stop. What's going on, man?
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:43.272
- I'm a hugger!
- What're you doing?
00:22:44.600 --> 00:22:47.717
Hey! I got an idea.
Let's roll. Here's my bike.
00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:50.029
Wait. That's your bike?
00:22:50.200 --> 00:22:51.918
Yeah. Kawasaki 800!
00:22:52.080 --> 00:22:53.513
I know what the bike is.
00:22:53.720 --> 00:22:55.392
I had the same bike in high school, man.
00:22:55.600 --> 00:22:57.192
- You still ride?
- No, man.
00:22:57.360 --> 00:22:58.536
I haven't ridden a bike in years!
00:22:58.560 --> 00:22:59.788
Come on, let's roll.
00:23:02.960 --> 00:23:04.473
Where? Where you trying to go?
00:23:04.800 --> 00:23:07.439
I know the perfect spot. Come on, Jet.
00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:09.959
You know, why not? Why not?
00:23:10.120 --> 00:23:12.315
After this... Yeah, okay!
00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:13.789
Let's roll.
00:23:15.840 --> 00:23:18.991
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, Bob! Slow, slow, slow!
00:23:19.480 --> 00:23:20.629
Bob, hey, hey!
00:23:26.800 --> 00:23:29.837
God, this is so crazy, man.
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:31.718
This brings back so many memories.
00:23:33.040 --> 00:23:34.109
I don't know, CJ.
00:23:34.280 --> 00:23:35.976
I mean, high school
wasn't easy for me, man.
00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:37.136
I don't know if you know this,
00:23:37.160 --> 00:23:38.800
but I didn't have many friends back then.
00:23:39.480 --> 00:23:40.480
What?
00:23:41.040 --> 00:23:42.678
- Really?
- No.
00:23:42.840 --> 00:23:44.000
I don't know why I thought...
00:23:44.040 --> 00:23:45.359
True story.
00:23:45.520 --> 00:23:48.353
Man, I thought high school
was gonna be like Sixteen Candles
00:23:48.520 --> 00:23:50.317
and I was gonna be like Molly Ringwald.
00:23:50.480 --> 00:23:51.616
Sure, things were difficult
in the beginning,
00:23:51.640 --> 00:23:52.959
but then, by the end,
00:23:53.160 --> 00:23:54.354
everything worked out.
00:23:54.520 --> 00:23:56.590
And Jake Ryan picked her up
in that red Porsche.
00:23:56.760 --> 00:23:57.829
What-what?
00:23:58.040 --> 00:23:59.040
You ever see that movie?
00:24:00.320 --> 00:24:02.356
I'm black, so I don't know the...
00:24:02.520 --> 00:24:04.192
You gotta see it, dude.
00:24:04.360 --> 00:24:07.352
Total classic.
It's my favorite all-time movie.
00:24:07.520 --> 00:24:10.637
Then I realized high school
was nothing like Sixteen Candles.
00:24:11.880 --> 00:24:13.711
And I'll never be like Molly Ringwald.
00:24:15.720 --> 00:24:17.472
Yeah, well, depends on who you ask.
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:19.193
That's the thing. For me, I...
00:24:20.800 --> 00:24:21.869
What's going on?
00:24:23.080 --> 00:24:24.308
Oh, wow.
00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:27.936
Hey, man, I just wanna say that
I'm really sorry
00:24:27.960 --> 00:24:30.394
about what Trevor and those guys
did to you back then.
00:24:37.240 --> 00:24:40.038
No biggie. I don't even
think about it anymore. No.
00:24:40.680 --> 00:24:41.829
Okay, good.
00:24:42.080 --> 00:24:43.856
Yeah. Here's the secret.
You know what I did, Jet?
00:24:43.880 --> 00:24:46.314
I took all that stuff
and I balled it up real tight
00:24:46.480 --> 00:24:48.994
and then I shoved it way down deep.
00:24:49.520 --> 00:24:51.511
And I just pretty much ignore it.
00:24:51.960 --> 00:24:54.713
You know, that sounds
really unhealthy, Bob.
00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:56.228
Hey, I gotta tell you.
00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:58.296
You were the only one
who helped me out that day.
00:24:58.320 --> 00:24:59.878
In the gym? Remember that?
00:25:00.040 --> 00:25:02.395
And you gave me your letterman's jacket!
00:25:02.600 --> 00:25:05.637
Hey, not for nothing,
but I never got that jacket back, man.
00:25:06.080 --> 00:25:07.080
Huh!
00:25:07.320 --> 00:25:09.038
Really? Strange.
00:25:10.080 --> 00:25:11.456
Hey, but listen, I just wanna thank you
00:25:11.480 --> 00:25:12.696
for what you did for me that day.
00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:14.040
That was really cool of you, Jet.
00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:16.120
Stop, man.
It was the right thing to do, you know?
00:25:17.800 --> 00:25:20.155
- You wanna hear something weird?
- What?
00:25:20.320 --> 00:25:22.038
I have not been naked since that day.
00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:23.519
I mean, not in front of anyone.
00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:24.989
Never.
00:25:25.160 --> 00:25:26.896
So, you're telling me
that for the last 20 years,
00:25:26.920 --> 00:25:28.751
you've never been seen
in your birthday suit?
00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:30.678
- No.
- So, what about when you have sex?
00:25:31.080 --> 00:25:33.230
I keep it pitch-black,
just like Vin Diesel.
00:25:33.800 --> 00:25:34.800
What?
00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:38.800
You know I've been wondering,
whatever happened to Trevor anyway?
00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:41.679
Did he get hit by a bus
or ripped apart by dogs
00:25:41.840 --> 00:25:43.876
or die slowly of anything?
00:25:44.080 --> 00:25:47.868
No. No, no.
He's a bigtime investment banker downtown.
00:25:48.480 --> 00:25:50.675
- Oh, hey, cool.
- Yeah.
00:25:50.840 --> 00:25:52.159
Good for him, man.
00:25:52.560 --> 00:25:55.074
Hey, Bob, look,
if you ever wanna talk, I'm here.
00:25:55.640 --> 00:25:57.198
So I don't mind, you know?
00:25:57.720 --> 00:25:58.896
I don't mind at all, if you wanna...
00:25:58.920 --> 00:25:59.920
What?
00:26:01.320 --> 00:26:03.072
Whoa.
00:26:03.800 --> 00:26:06.155
This is all our stuff from our year!
00:26:06.320 --> 00:26:09.153
Yeah. Must be getting ready
for the reunion tomorrow night.
00:26:09.320 --> 00:26:10.496
Come on, man. Let's get out of here.
00:26:10.520 --> 00:26:12.715
What? No! "Get out..."
Look, you're all over this!
00:26:12.920 --> 00:26:16.230
Look at this.
Basketball, baseball, cross country.
00:26:16.400 --> 00:26:17.628
Hamlet.
00:26:17.840 --> 00:26:18.840
Prom King.
00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:20.558
There's Darla McGuckian.
00:26:20.760 --> 00:26:22.637
Synchronized swimming, that's so sexy.
00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:25.480
This is like the Guinness Book
of Golden Jet Records right there.
00:26:26.720 --> 00:26:27.948
I see that.
00:26:29.240 --> 00:26:31.720
To be honest with you,
I don't even recognize this guy anymore.
00:26:32.280 --> 00:26:33.838
This guy, here, he was gonna...
00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:35.877
He was gonna conquer the world.
00:26:37.440 --> 00:26:39.032
If 18-year-old me could see me now,
00:26:39.240 --> 00:26:40.912
he'd probably think I was a total loser.
00:26:42.280 --> 00:26:44.111
What? That's crazy talk!
00:26:44.280 --> 00:26:45.793
- You're The Golden Jet, dude!
- Stop.
00:26:45.960 --> 00:26:48.793
Stop, Bob. Spare me
with The Golden Jet shit.
00:26:49.600 --> 00:26:51.670
I'm not The Golden Jet, man.
I'm an accountant.
00:26:51.880 --> 00:26:53.233
That's my reality.
00:26:56.280 --> 00:26:59.192
I just thought
I was meant for more, you know?
00:26:59.880 --> 00:27:01.871
My life would be something special.
00:27:03.800 --> 00:27:06.439
You know how they say every man
is the hero of his own story?
00:27:07.640 --> 00:27:08.709
Was that in Twilight?
00:27:09.360 --> 00:27:12.033
No, I don't think that's where it's from.
00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:14.236
But those books are cool, right? Vampires!
00:27:14.440 --> 00:27:16.431
And there's a wolf-boy.
00:27:16.600 --> 00:27:21.390
I'm not... I'm not talking
about Twilight, Bob, okay?
00:27:21.560 --> 00:27:22.856
I'm talking about the fact that
I don't feel like
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:24.632
I'm the hero of my own story. That's...
00:27:24.800 --> 00:27:26.480
How are you not the hero
of your own story?
00:27:26.600 --> 00:27:28.033
No one else can be!
00:27:28.200 --> 00:27:29.952
Yo, CJ, I gotta be honest with you, man.
00:27:30.120 --> 00:27:31.760
I mean, all this talk about Calvin Joyner
00:27:31.800 --> 00:27:33.040
not feeling like he's a hero...
00:27:33.200 --> 00:27:34.713
That's crazy talk, man.
00:27:35.240 --> 00:27:36.832
No. No, it's not.
00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:38.680
You were the best thing about high school.
00:27:39.080 --> 00:27:40.399
I'll always believe in you.
00:27:40.560 --> 00:27:42.869
Yo, do you remember
those backflips you used to do?
00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:45.360
The crowd would go crazy!
I was there, too.
00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:47.431
I was, like, "What? How's he do that?"
00:27:47.640 --> 00:27:48.675
How did you do that?
00:27:50.560 --> 00:27:52.232
I don't know. I just did it, man.
00:27:52.760 --> 00:27:53.909
Exactly.
00:27:54.080 --> 00:27:55.080
So, do it now.
00:27:55.960 --> 00:27:58.872
No, no. You're crazy! No.
00:27:59.200 --> 00:28:00.269
What's that?
00:28:00.440 --> 00:28:01.616
What're you talking about? What's what?
00:28:01.640 --> 00:28:03.232
- Golden Jet!
- No, stop it.
00:28:03.400 --> 00:28:05.152
- Golden Jet!
- Okay, stop it!
00:28:05.320 --> 00:28:06.833
- Golden Jet!
- All right.
00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:08.319
Golden Jet!
00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:11.358
I'm not gonna stop until
you do The Golden Jet flip!
00:28:11.520 --> 00:28:12.520
Golden Jet!
00:28:12.680 --> 00:28:14.910
All right, everybody, settle down.
Settle down!
00:28:15.080 --> 00:28:17.594
If the crowd wants a Golden Jet flip,
00:28:17.760 --> 00:28:19.478
then they gonna get a Golden Jet flip.
00:28:19.640 --> 00:28:20.755
You go, girl!
00:28:23.560 --> 00:28:26.677
Oh, God!
00:28:26.840 --> 00:28:28.193
That was so close, Jet.
00:28:29.800 --> 00:28:30.800
Here, buddy. Come on.
00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:33.560
They must have just waxed these floors.
00:28:35.840 --> 00:28:37.592
That was definitely a first, man.
00:28:39.040 --> 00:28:40.473
Oh, man, I am beat.
00:28:41.040 --> 00:28:42.040
Oh.
00:28:44.040 --> 00:28:45.075
Hey, Jet!
00:28:45.360 --> 00:28:48.670
Man, I had a great time tonight.
00:28:48.840 --> 00:28:49.840
Whoa!
00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:52.471
You know what?
I had a good time, too, man.
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:54.080
I feel like I needed this, you know?
00:28:54.240 --> 00:28:56.435
Yeah. Yeah. Me, too!
00:28:56.960 --> 00:28:57.960
Thank you.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:00.549
My pleasure, amigo. Any time.
00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:04.110
Hey, if there's ever anything
I can do for you, just say the word.
00:29:04.280 --> 00:29:06.794
Wow. You really mean that?
00:29:07.320 --> 00:29:08.355
Yeah.
00:29:08.520 --> 00:29:11.318
I wasn't gonna bring it up,
but I might as well.
00:29:11.520 --> 00:29:14.637
Lately, I've been having this problem
with my payroll account. And...
00:29:15.360 --> 00:29:16.520
It's all screwed up, somehow.
00:29:16.840 --> 00:29:20.071
You know, I was overseas
working for a while before I got fired.
00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:23.152
So, it's kinda like
a forensic international account thingy
00:29:23.360 --> 00:29:26.557
which, I think,
is kind of your specialty, right?
00:29:27.600 --> 00:29:28.600
Um...
00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:32.788
Yeah, no, it is.
I'll take a look at that for you.
00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:34.296
You would? You would do that for me?
00:29:34.320 --> 00:29:36.834
I've got the login info,
if you wanna crack open your computer,
00:29:37.040 --> 00:29:38.268
we can do this!
00:29:38.720 --> 00:29:40.278
Oh, you mean now?
00:29:40.440 --> 00:29:42.556
- That's awesome! Yeah!
- Okay.
00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:44.392
- Look at this!
- Hey, Bob...
00:29:44.560 --> 00:29:45.595
Whoa!
00:29:45.800 --> 00:29:47.136
Bob, you gotta keep your voice down!
00:29:47.160 --> 00:29:48.275
Maggie's sleeping.
00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:50.440
Wow.
00:29:51.080 --> 00:29:54.311
This is a pretty serious international
account dossier you've got here.
00:29:54.520 --> 00:29:57.637
Right? I just want to make sure
everything was hunky-dory.
00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:03.797
Going to your router.
00:30:03.960 --> 00:30:06.394
Now you're talking to me.
00:30:07.880 --> 00:30:09.950
Bingo. I'm in.
00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:12.755
Oh. That's great, Jet.
Thank you, man!
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:18.471
I mean, just looking at it first-hand,
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:21.950
it kinda looks like it's a bunch of
off-shore escrow accounts.
00:30:22.120 --> 00:30:23.633
These have been backwashed into
00:30:23.840 --> 00:30:26.877
a series of domestic dummy accounts
for some reason.
00:30:27.040 --> 00:30:29.600
I mean, the logs are all crazy, too.
You have China,
00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:31.833
Syria, Iran.
00:30:33.320 --> 00:30:34.673
This is an auction site, Bob!
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:37.592
These are bids. All of these.
00:30:37.760 --> 00:30:40.320
This is hundreds of millions
of dollars in bids, right here.
00:30:40.520 --> 00:30:41.919
And judging by this clock, here,
00:30:42.080 --> 00:30:43.520
it says it's all gonna end tomorrow.
00:30:43.720 --> 00:30:44.755
Whoa!
00:30:44.920 --> 00:30:47.957
- What the hell? Why?
- What did...
00:30:48.120 --> 00:30:49.553
- Oh! I'm sorry, Jet!
- Bob!
00:30:49.720 --> 00:30:52.393
Jet, I'm so sorry! Oh, man.
00:30:52.560 --> 00:30:54.835
- I'm all thumbs.
- It's my computer!
00:30:55.040 --> 00:30:56.553
- I'm sorry.
- No! Please, Bob.
00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:58.096
- I'm sorry, Jet.
- Leave it. I got it.
00:30:58.120 --> 00:31:00.475
It's fine, Bob. It's fine. Just leave it.
00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:01.789
The worst!
00:31:02.080 --> 00:31:03.229
God!
00:31:03.640 --> 00:31:06.029
Hey! What the hell was that on that site?
00:31:06.200 --> 00:31:07.960
That didn't have
anything to do with payroll.
00:31:08.280 --> 00:31:10.271
I don't know. I've never seen that before.
00:31:10.440 --> 00:31:11.440
That was crazy.
00:31:11.640 --> 00:31:14.016
Let's figure it out tomorrow
when we're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
00:31:14.040 --> 00:31:16.349
What do you say, CJ? I am beat.
00:31:17.160 --> 00:31:18.513
Hey, do you mind if I crash here?
00:31:19.360 --> 00:31:20.634
Um...
00:31:21.720 --> 00:31:22.720
No.
00:31:24.240 --> 00:31:26.117
Let me go grab some blankets.
00:31:30.920 --> 00:31:33.229
Hey, thanks for the jammies, Jet.
00:31:34.520 --> 00:31:37.159
Okay, well, you can keep those.
00:31:37.320 --> 00:31:39.117
Those are... Those are officially yours.
00:31:40.560 --> 00:31:41.959
Yeah.
00:31:42.800 --> 00:31:44.597
- All right.
- Oh.
00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:46.920
You gonna sleep with your fanny pack.
00:31:47.080 --> 00:31:49.992
Golden Jet! Yeah, it's my baby.
00:32:01.600 --> 00:32:04.797
You need anything else? You're okay?
00:32:06.760 --> 00:32:10.150
I can't believe I'm having a sleepover
at Calvin Joyner's house right now.
00:32:10.360 --> 00:32:12.828
This is blowing my mind!
00:32:14.320 --> 00:32:15.320
Okay.
00:32:15.880 --> 00:32:16.880
Uh, good night, Bob.
00:32:17.880 --> 00:32:19.029
Good night, Jet.
00:32:38.800 --> 00:32:39.800
Me?
00:32:40.520 --> 00:32:41.714
Yeah, you.
00:32:47.400 --> 00:32:48.879
What the fuck?
00:32:51.760 --> 00:32:52.988
One second.
00:32:57.720 --> 00:32:58.914
Hold on.
00:33:03.400 --> 00:33:04.435
Uh, may I help you?
00:33:04.600 --> 00:33:06.113
Mr. Joyner, my name is Pamela Harris,
00:33:06.280 --> 00:33:08.555
I'm with the Central Intelligence Agency.
00:33:08.720 --> 00:33:11.075
Have you had any contact with this man?
00:33:11.680 --> 00:33:14.319
Uh, yeah, he's on my...
He's on my couch, sleeping.
00:33:14.480 --> 00:33:15.480
Target's in the house.
00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:17.875
What's going on? Hey!
00:33:18.040 --> 00:33:20.474
Excuse me. Excuse me!
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:25.720
Target's fled.
00:33:25.920 --> 00:33:26.989
Shit.
00:33:27.240 --> 00:33:28.355
Target's on the move.
00:33:28.520 --> 00:33:29.589
Excuse me! What...
00:33:33.800 --> 00:33:35.597
Hello, hey! Excuse me!
00:33:35.800 --> 00:33:37.976
- ...and voice chatter in the vicinity.
- Hello! Excuse me!
00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:40.281
If he's in the wind again,
it's gonna be your ass. Go now.
00:33:40.400 --> 00:33:42.550
- Hello!
- Alert Langley, asset uncontained.
00:33:42.720 --> 00:33:43.914
Excuse me!
00:33:44.960 --> 00:33:45.960
- Can I help you?
- Hello!
00:33:46.080 --> 00:33:47.456
It's my house. Is something going on?
00:33:47.480 --> 00:33:49.914
Well, Mr. Joyner,
your sleepover buddy, Robert Wheirdicht,
00:33:50.080 --> 00:33:53.550
AKA Bob Stone, AKA Bob Golden,
AKA Bob Jet,
00:33:53.840 --> 00:33:55.717
is wanted for murder and treason
00:33:55.880 --> 00:33:58.519
and is presently in possession
of highly classified state secrets
00:33:58.720 --> 00:34:00.392
which he intends to sell to our enemies.
00:34:00.600 --> 00:34:01.635
What?
00:34:01.800 --> 00:34:05.588
And if he succeeds, it's gonna spark
a chain reaction of geopolitical events
00:34:05.760 --> 00:34:07.056
that most of our predictive models
00:34:07.080 --> 00:34:09.833
place somewhere between
World War III and outright Armageddon.
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:12.309
So, yeah, I guess you could say
something is going on.
00:34:12.720 --> 00:34:13.720
Oh, you mind?
00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:18.000
Creamer's in the fridge. What?
00:34:18.200 --> 00:34:19.679
I don't need it.
00:34:19.840 --> 00:34:21.717
What I do need is information.
00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:24.713
I need you to tell me
everything and anything
00:34:24.880 --> 00:34:26.632
about your contact with Agent Stone.
00:34:27.520 --> 00:34:30.114
- Agent Stone?
- Bob, your friend Bob.
00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:32.077
Come on. Stay with me, please.
00:34:33.160 --> 00:34:35.310
Okay, I think there's a misunderstanding.
00:34:35.480 --> 00:34:37.630
No. No, he is not my friend.
00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:39.576
Then why did he list you
as his emergency contact
00:34:39.600 --> 00:34:40.749
in all his personnel forms?
00:34:41.040 --> 00:34:42.109
I'm sorry... He what?
00:34:42.280 --> 00:34:44.794
Bob Stone has no siblings, or parents,
or family of any kind.
00:34:45.120 --> 00:34:46.235
You are the only person
00:34:46.400 --> 00:34:48.595
he listed in his personal references.
00:34:48.800 --> 00:34:50.028
Oh...
00:34:50.200 --> 00:34:52.634
That's crazy, all right?
I barely even know the guy.
00:34:52.800 --> 00:34:54.216
Then why was he sleeping on your couch?
00:34:54.240 --> 00:34:55.576
Because we went out
and had drinks last night.
00:34:55.600 --> 00:34:57.560
Oh, so you went out drinking
with your non-friend?
00:34:58.440 --> 00:34:59.440
Okay.
00:35:00.040 --> 00:35:01.439
All right, let's... You're not...
00:35:01.920 --> 00:35:02.955
Time out.
00:35:03.160 --> 00:35:04.559
I'm pressing the time out button.
00:35:04.720 --> 00:35:08.156
Okay? You guys barged in my house.
I pay my taxes.
00:35:08.440 --> 00:35:11.591
So you're not gonna come here
and treat me like I'm the enemy, okay?
00:35:11.760 --> 00:35:14.136
That's the first thing.
Now, if you want to get into facts...
00:35:14.160 --> 00:35:15.639
You wanna talk about facts?
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:16.840
This is Facebook's fault.
00:35:17.000 --> 00:35:18.136
Are you familiar with Facebook?
00:35:18.160 --> 00:35:19.195
We surveil it.
00:35:19.360 --> 00:35:20.918
He sent me a friend request.
00:35:21.080 --> 00:35:22.520
That's how this whole thing started.
00:35:22.720 --> 00:35:23.789
And you accepted?
00:35:24.520 --> 00:35:26.238
Don't do that. Don't do that to me.
00:35:26.400 --> 00:35:29.756
You give me a second. Okay?
Don't fire back like that.
00:35:29.920 --> 00:35:32.036
First of all,
fuck Mark Zuckerberg, all right?
00:35:32.200 --> 00:35:34.555
Now, I accepted because it was Facebook.
00:35:34.720 --> 00:35:36.056
And it's rude when you don't accept it
00:35:36.080 --> 00:35:37.376
and I don't know
if the person on the other end
00:35:37.400 --> 00:35:39.709
can see me not accept it.
That's why I accepted.
00:35:39.880 --> 00:35:41.359
Are you nervous, Mr. Joyner?
00:35:41.680 --> 00:35:42.715
Is it hot?
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:44.757
Are you getting hot?
Because I'm getting hot.
00:35:44.920 --> 00:35:46.239
I'm not gonna take off my jacket
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:48.038
because that makes me look guilty.
00:35:48.200 --> 00:35:50.589
And that's what you guys look for. Hmm?
00:35:51.000 --> 00:35:53.355
Is this what a guilty man would do?
00:35:53.600 --> 00:35:55.909
Look how comfortable I am.
00:35:56.560 --> 00:35:59.080
I'm gonna lean up against this counter,
and I'm not gonna sweat.
00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:03.554
I'm not gonna...
I'm not gonna look flustered at all.
00:36:03.760 --> 00:36:05.591
I'm... Bring it.
00:36:06.040 --> 00:36:07.234
What you want to know?
00:36:07.560 --> 00:36:08.595
Hmm?
00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:09.909
- Mr. Joyner.
- Yeah.
00:36:10.080 --> 00:36:11.911
Bob Stone is a dangerous psychotic.
00:36:12.240 --> 00:36:14.231
- You're lucky to be alive.
- Okay, listen to me.
00:36:14.440 --> 00:36:17.238
Agent Harris, I don't know this man.
00:36:17.520 --> 00:36:19.256
He's just a little weird kid
that I knew in high school.
00:36:19.280 --> 00:36:20.936
He used to put Rice Krispies Treats
in my locker.
00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:22.416
Sometimes I ate 'em, sometimes I didn't.
00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:23.839
I wasn't in carbs back then
00:36:24.200 --> 00:36:26.160
'cause I didn't want that weight
going to my hips.
00:36:26.200 --> 00:36:28.600
As a man, you don't want big hips,
especially in high school.
00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:31.069
Bottom line,
I have no allegiance to this man.
00:36:31.240 --> 00:36:32.798
Zero ties, okay?
00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:34.149
All ties are cut.
00:36:34.320 --> 00:36:36.276
I cut them, so this is me and you.
00:36:36.760 --> 00:36:38.432
So don't put me and him...
00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:40.990
I ain't in this shit, okay?
00:36:41.800 --> 00:36:44.075
All right, Mr. Joyner. Prove it.
00:36:44.960 --> 00:36:46.552
Yeah, well, I need a second.
00:36:46.760 --> 00:36:49.228
You gotta step outside.
I gotta take a shit.
00:36:49.400 --> 00:36:50.594
This is a lot.
00:36:50.760 --> 00:36:53.069
I got to go. Just give me a second, man!
00:36:53.880 --> 00:36:55.836
- I'll be waiting.
- Jesus Christ!
00:37:06.200 --> 00:37:08.953
All teams be advised,
we're Oscar Mike with the bait.
00:37:09.160 --> 00:37:10.736
I'm sorry, did you just
call me "the bait"?
00:37:10.760 --> 00:37:11.795
No.
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:13.176
Yeah, you did.
She just called me the bait.
00:37:13.200 --> 00:37:14.200
Why am I the bait?
00:37:14.360 --> 00:37:16.016
No, that doesn't sound like
something I'd ever say.
00:37:16.040 --> 00:37:18.190
- You just said it.
- What's going on here?
00:37:18.360 --> 00:37:19.998
Sir, I'm gonna need you to step aside.
00:37:20.160 --> 00:37:22.310
This is a matter of national security.
00:37:22.600 --> 00:37:23.828
Yeah, right! I love it.
00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:26.360
What is this? Like a strippergram thing
to suck up to Ethan?
00:37:26.520 --> 00:37:27.999
Gotta love strippers. So dirty.
00:37:28.160 --> 00:37:30.116
Show us your tits! Show us your tits!
00:37:30.280 --> 00:37:32.999
Hey, let's see some titty!
00:37:36.040 --> 00:37:38.156
- This you?
- Yeah, right here.
00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:39.833
You did this to yourself.
00:37:45.200 --> 00:37:47.509
- Small.
- Yeah.
00:37:54.680 --> 00:37:55.680
It's my wife.
00:37:56.560 --> 00:37:59.199
Mr. Joyner, it is my legal obligation
to inform you
00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:02.079
that you are now a part of
a highly classified covert action.
00:38:02.240 --> 00:38:04.470
So, say hello to your wife
and then get off the phone.
00:38:04.640 --> 00:38:05.834
Am I clear?
00:38:06.000 --> 00:38:07.513
Don't tell my wife shit. Got it.
00:38:08.360 --> 00:38:09.475
Don't tell your wife shit.
00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:12.472
- What line?
- Line one.
00:38:14.720 --> 00:38:16.760
Hey, Mags.
Hey, I can't really talk right now, babe.
00:38:16.840 --> 00:38:19.673
- I got a lot going on.
- Okay, okay. I get it. You're hungover.
00:38:19.840 --> 00:38:21.751
Listen, Dr. Dan can see us today at lunch.
00:38:22.000 --> 00:38:24.514
- Wait a minute, Dr. Dan?
- The therapist, remember?
00:38:24.680 --> 00:38:27.956
So, I'm thinking we should just
meet at home and go together. Thank you.
00:38:28.120 --> 00:38:31.317
Go. Go on,
and I'll just see you there, okay?
00:38:31.480 --> 00:38:32.640
But I got to really go, babe.
00:38:32.760 --> 00:38:34.496
I'm slammed in here.
So, I gotta get off the phone.
00:38:34.520 --> 00:38:37.120
- All right. Jeez! Is everything okay?
- Everything is fine, babe.
00:38:37.240 --> 00:38:39.629
I gotta keep the line clear.
I love you. Bye, I gotta go.
00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:42.149
Love you. Bye.
00:38:42.720 --> 00:38:43.720
Hmm.
00:38:44.440 --> 00:38:45.475
"Hmm." What?
00:38:45.640 --> 00:38:48.438
I'm an expert in speech pathology
and psycho-lingual subtext.
00:38:48.600 --> 00:38:50.750
Your wife is not fulfilled
in your relationship.
00:38:51.000 --> 00:38:52.000
Wait, what?
00:38:52.360 --> 00:38:53.759
Also, she wants to have a baby.
00:38:54.320 --> 00:38:55.514
Where are you getting...
00:38:59.200 --> 00:39:00.713
Calvin Joyner, Accounting.
00:39:03.400 --> 00:39:05.550
Hello? Calvin Joyner, Accounting.
00:39:06.320 --> 00:39:07.320
Calvin?
00:39:10.680 --> 00:39:12.750
It's Bob! It's Bob!
00:39:12.920 --> 00:39:14.148
Act natural.
00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:16.436
Calvin. Is that you?
00:39:16.600 --> 00:39:17.749
Are you there?
00:39:18.480 --> 00:39:20.675
Well, hey. Well, yeah.
00:39:21.600 --> 00:39:23.431
Yeah, wassup?
00:39:24.280 --> 00:39:26.840
What up, Bobby-o?
00:39:27.000 --> 00:39:29.195
Are you quite well?
00:39:29.360 --> 00:39:30.429
I'm in big trouble.
00:39:30.600 --> 00:39:32.875
Oh, God! I screwed up.
I screwed up big time.
00:39:33.040 --> 00:39:35.156
We gotta talk. Can you meet me?
00:39:35.320 --> 00:39:37.515
Sure. Yeah. Where?
Where do you want me to meet you?
00:39:37.680 --> 00:39:39.880
I'm in the stairwell of your building,
two flights down.
00:39:40.080 --> 00:39:41.274
- Stairwell?
- Hurry!
00:39:42.720 --> 00:39:44.896
- He's in the stairwell, two flights down!
- Move, move!
00:39:44.920 --> 00:39:45.989
Alert Charlie team.
00:39:46.240 --> 00:39:48.151
Hold on. What's going on? Am I safe here?
00:39:48.360 --> 00:39:50.256
As long as Bob Stone
is in the building, no one's safe.
00:39:50.280 --> 00:39:52.157
Get back in your office now!
00:39:56.760 --> 00:39:57.954
Okay!
00:39:58.160 --> 00:40:00.196
Good news is we heard her, guys.
00:40:00.480 --> 00:40:03.358
So, everybody, let's all just stay calm.
00:40:03.520 --> 00:40:05.954
As long as... As long... Shit!
00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:10.956
What the hell is going on?
00:40:11.120 --> 00:40:12.269
- Relax.
- Hey.
00:40:12.440 --> 00:40:14.120
Great job at
getting them out of here, Jet.
00:40:14.280 --> 00:40:15.429
- Oh, Bob!
- That's teamwork!
00:40:15.800 --> 00:40:17.480
Wait! How did you... What did you just do?
00:40:17.560 --> 00:40:18.754
It's a tradecraft, buddy.
00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:20.274
Spoiler alert...
00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:21.595
I'm in the CIA.
00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:22.829
Oh, no shit!
00:40:23.000 --> 00:40:24.416
Hey, hey! What're you doing with my phone?
00:40:24.440 --> 00:40:26.440
You about to turn my phone
into a bomb, aren't you?
00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:28.516
I've seen Homeland.
So I know what they do.
00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:31.314
Homeland?
No, I'm ordering us an Uber.
00:40:31.480 --> 00:40:33.311
Six minutes. That's kinda tight.
00:40:34.200 --> 00:40:35.792
I'm gonna need your tie.
00:40:36.400 --> 00:40:37.515
You're gonna... No!
00:40:37.680 --> 00:40:39.000
- Your necktie, take it off.
- No,
00:40:39.080 --> 00:40:40.736
- I'm not taking my tie off!
- Come on, Jet!
00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:42.400
Don't do that. Don't do that.
00:40:42.440 --> 00:40:43.696
That's good. Save it, save it, save it.
00:40:43.720 --> 00:40:45.073
Save it, Jet.
00:40:45.240 --> 00:40:47.216
- There we go, just right over here.
- Fine, take it, take it.
00:40:47.240 --> 00:40:49.993
You can have it. Okay, that...
Listen to me. Listen.
00:40:50.160 --> 00:40:51.195
Stop. Stop!
00:40:51.360 --> 00:40:53.351
I need to know
what is happening, right now.
00:40:53.520 --> 00:40:55.511
Okay, okay. You know what?
Moving too fast.
00:40:55.720 --> 00:40:58.871
Bottom line, are you in or you out?
00:40:59.680 --> 00:41:01.016
What are you... In or out of what?
00:41:01.040 --> 00:41:03.508
Mmm-mmm. No time
for questions, just action.
00:41:03.680 --> 00:41:05.750
- In or out?
- Okay, then I'm out.
00:41:06.400 --> 00:41:08.391
I'm sorry, Jet.
Actually, you're already in.
00:41:08.560 --> 00:41:09.993
Then why would you ask me?
00:41:10.160 --> 00:41:11.960
Because I thought
you would go, "I'm in, Bob!"
00:41:12.120 --> 00:41:13.536
And we would've had a really cool moment,
00:41:13.560 --> 00:41:15.040
but you kinda ruined the whole thing.
00:41:15.120 --> 00:41:16.155
I ruined...
00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:17.389
Okay, okay, okay.
00:41:17.560 --> 00:41:18.959
Listen to me right now.
00:41:19.160 --> 00:41:20.856
Bob, I don't know what it is
that you're into
00:41:20.880 --> 00:41:22.313
but what I do know is that
00:41:22.480 --> 00:41:26.359
I am really, really 100% out!
00:41:26.520 --> 00:41:27.520
Do you understand that?
00:41:27.680 --> 00:41:29.955
- God, you are good!
- What?
00:41:30.120 --> 00:41:32.918
Calvin Joyner, president of the Drama Club
for a reason, folks!
00:41:33.080 --> 00:41:35.800
- You're like a snack-size Denzel.
- Okay. Stop it, stop it, stop it.
00:41:36.800 --> 00:41:38.199
This is not a game.
00:41:38.360 --> 00:41:39.873
I'm being serious right now.
00:41:40.560 --> 00:41:41.560
I'm out!
00:41:44.120 --> 00:41:45.314
Okay. Okay.
00:41:45.520 --> 00:41:47.590
I can't say I'm not disappointed, Jet,
00:41:48.440 --> 00:41:49.714
but if you're out, you're out.
00:41:49.880 --> 00:41:51.757
Thank you! I'm out!
00:41:51.920 --> 00:41:53.876
I'm just happy that we can communicate
00:41:54.040 --> 00:41:55.678
openly and honestly.
00:41:55.840 --> 00:41:58.798
I think it says a lot
about our relationship.
00:41:58.960 --> 00:42:01.315
Wait, hold up, wait.
What're you doing? Oh, my God!
00:42:01.480 --> 00:42:02.515
Here's the thing, though.
00:42:02.680 --> 00:42:04.280
There's only one way for you to get out.
00:42:04.360 --> 00:42:05.475
What's that?
00:42:05.640 --> 00:42:06.834
You gotta get in first.
00:42:07.040 --> 00:42:08.359
What is it that...
00:42:08.520 --> 00:42:09.794
What-what! Take my gun, Jet,
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:11.513
we may have to kill some people.
00:42:11.680 --> 00:42:13.976
- Come on, it's not gonna bite you.
- I will do no such thing.
00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:15.000
I think you'll like it.
00:42:15.160 --> 00:42:16.600
- I will not!
- You're gonna need it.
00:42:17.440 --> 00:42:19.908
You're gonna need it! He's in here!
00:42:20.120 --> 00:42:21.120
Jet.
00:42:21.280 --> 00:42:23.840
He's in there! Bob's in there!
00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:26.275
He's got a gun! He's got a gun!
00:42:28.480 --> 00:42:30.160
- Down, down, get down!
- Move, move, move!
00:42:30.920 --> 00:42:32.136
All right. I'm gonna need
your improv skills.
00:42:32.160 --> 00:42:33.160
What?
00:42:33.360 --> 00:42:35.794
- Hostage role-play, you ready?
- No!
00:42:36.040 --> 00:42:37.598
- Sweet, let's go.
- No, I said no!
00:42:37.760 --> 00:42:38.909
I said no!
00:42:39.080 --> 00:42:40.513
He's got a hostage!
00:42:41.560 --> 00:42:42.560
No!
00:42:42.720 --> 00:42:44.551
No! Stop it, you gonna get me killed!
00:42:46.160 --> 00:42:47.309
Don't shoot!
00:42:59.960 --> 00:43:00.960
There we go, Jet!
00:43:01.760 --> 00:43:02.840
What are you doing?
00:43:02.920 --> 00:43:03.989
Oh! Shoot!
00:43:05.840 --> 00:43:06.840
Don't shoot!
00:43:18.760 --> 00:43:20.990
- Hang tight, Jet!
- No, I'm not doing anything!
00:43:21.200 --> 00:43:22.679
Stop including me in your stuff!
00:43:24.600 --> 00:43:26.238
Get him, Agent! Hit him with the stick!
00:43:31.240 --> 00:43:32.275
Oh!
00:43:32.600 --> 00:43:34.736
You're doing a great job, Jet.
Just give me a second, okay?
00:43:34.760 --> 00:43:35.795
What the fuck?
00:43:36.840 --> 00:43:37.840
He got a coffee pot!
00:43:55.560 --> 00:43:56.560
He got a banana!
00:44:01.520 --> 00:44:03.033
Oh! Oh!
00:44:04.040 --> 00:44:05.234
Freeze!
00:44:16.560 --> 00:44:18.278
Jet, help!
00:44:18.480 --> 00:44:19.480
What?
00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:22.675
Golden Jet, help.
00:44:22.840 --> 00:44:24.000
No, man, I'm not helping you!
00:44:27.000 --> 00:44:28.000
Oh, shit.
00:44:28.560 --> 00:44:29.834
- Give me the gun!
- Stop it!
00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:31.320
- Stop resisting!
- No, let me go!
00:44:35.080 --> 00:44:37.071
Let me go! I'm trying to give it to you!
00:44:40.120 --> 00:44:41.394
Oh, shit!
00:44:41.560 --> 00:44:42.896
- That was an accident!
- Don't move!
00:44:42.920 --> 00:44:44.194
No, stop! Listen to me!
00:44:46.840 --> 00:44:47.909
Let's go.
00:44:48.680 --> 00:44:50.280
Wait, wait! Come on! What are you... Ah!
00:44:50.800 --> 00:44:52.028
Come on, man!
00:44:52.200 --> 00:44:54.156
This has gotta stop! Okay?
00:44:56.080 --> 00:44:57.115
Shit!
00:45:01.600 --> 00:45:02.874
Don't shoot!
00:45:03.960 --> 00:45:05.791
- Oh, God!
- Show us your hands!
00:45:05.960 --> 00:45:07.393
- Drop your weapon!
- Do it now!
00:45:16.080 --> 00:45:17.080
Ow.
00:45:17.880 --> 00:45:18.880
Sorry, Jet.
00:45:19.040 --> 00:45:21.110
It's over, Bob. Give up.
00:45:21.320 --> 00:45:22.878
You know I can't do that, Pam.
00:45:23.040 --> 00:45:24.871
There's nowhere to run, Agent Stone.
00:45:25.520 --> 00:45:26.714
Just like Caracas.
00:45:27.360 --> 00:45:31.239
Uh, Caracas would've worked
if you trusted me like Calvin trusts me.
00:45:31.400 --> 00:45:32.549
No. No.
00:45:32.720 --> 00:45:34.472
That is not true. I do not trust him!
00:45:34.640 --> 00:45:36.710
I do not trust him at all.
As a matter of fact,
00:45:36.920 --> 00:45:38.416
this is a perfect time
for us to clear this up
00:45:38.440 --> 00:45:40.576
especially in the middle of this standoff.
I shouldn't be here!
00:45:40.600 --> 00:45:43.160
So I feel like me being
in the middle of this throws me in it.
00:45:43.320 --> 00:45:44.639
So let me exclude myself.
00:45:44.840 --> 00:45:46.512
- Hey, stay down!
- Don't move!
00:45:46.720 --> 00:45:49.359
Okay, all right.
I'll stay in. I'll stay in.
00:45:50.640 --> 00:45:51.640
I got a plan.
00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:53.554
Might get us both killed
00:45:53.720 --> 00:45:55.536
but if it works,
it'll be a totally boss story.
00:45:55.560 --> 00:45:56.560
Cool?
00:45:56.720 --> 00:45:58.676
- No! No, it's not cool!
- Cool.
00:45:58.840 --> 00:45:59.989
No, I said it's not cool.
00:46:00.160 --> 00:46:01.673
I said it's not cool!
00:46:01.840 --> 00:46:02.989
Time's up.
00:46:03.680 --> 00:46:04.829
You're right, Pam.
00:46:05.560 --> 00:46:06.629
My time is up.
00:46:06.800 --> 00:46:08.836
In three, two,
00:46:09.680 --> 00:46:10.680
one.
00:46:18.360 --> 00:46:20.396
Bob, Bob, Bob!
00:46:20.960 --> 00:46:23.394
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:46:24.040 --> 00:46:25.234
Oh, shit!
00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:27.000
Whoo-hoo!
00:46:43.920 --> 00:46:45.717
Wow! Did you feel that, Jet?
00:46:45.880 --> 00:46:48.110
That was the balls right there!
00:46:50.160 --> 00:46:51.760
Hey, did you shit yourself a little bit?
00:46:53.520 --> 00:46:55.715
It's all right if you did. Totally cool.
I don't judge.
00:47:01.200 --> 00:47:02.200
Get it off!
00:47:02.600 --> 00:47:03.669
You guys order an Uber?
00:47:06.400 --> 00:47:07.549
What are you doing?
00:47:08.320 --> 00:47:09.816
You better get your tuches in the car.
00:47:09.840 --> 00:47:10.840
You're gonna get shot!
00:47:11.000 --> 00:47:12.149
Don't shoot me! Shoot him!
00:47:12.320 --> 00:47:14.834
Shoot him! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out!
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:17.230
Let me in! Let me in! Let me in! Go, Bob!
00:47:21.720 --> 00:47:23.073
Hey, that's my car!
00:47:23.760 --> 00:47:24.760
Fuck you!
00:47:25.240 --> 00:47:26.958
You get zero stars!
00:47:28.000 --> 00:47:30.195
Put the word out to all assets.
00:47:30.360 --> 00:47:31.918
I'm doubling the price on Bob's head.
00:47:32.360 --> 00:47:33.918
Hey, what the shit,
honey...
00:47:35.520 --> 00:47:36.873
Get Larry on it.
00:47:42.200 --> 00:47:43.235
Car, car, car!
00:47:43.880 --> 00:47:45.598
All right, here's the dilly-o, Jet.
00:47:45.760 --> 00:47:47.480
About three weeks ago,
an enemy of the state
00:47:47.560 --> 00:47:48.788
codenamed "The Black Badger"
00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:51.918
stole the encryption keys
to the entire US spy satellite program
00:47:52.080 --> 00:47:53.336
which he's gonna sell to a buyer
00:47:53.360 --> 00:47:55.256
from that auction site
on your computer last night.
00:47:55.280 --> 00:47:56.315
Bob...
00:47:56.480 --> 00:47:57.696
If we lose control of our satellites,
00:47:57.720 --> 00:48:00.518
we're completely vulnerable
to any terrorist attacks.
00:48:00.680 --> 00:48:02.736
That's why I had to go back
to your office and get you, Jet.
00:48:02.760 --> 00:48:04.512
I need your super sweet accounting skills
00:48:04.680 --> 00:48:06.680
to help me figure out
the last piece of this puzzle
00:48:06.760 --> 00:48:08.990
which is the transaction number
from the winning bid.
00:48:09.160 --> 00:48:11.037
That'll tell us
where the deal is going down.
00:48:12.920 --> 00:48:15.036
That way, we can get The Black Badger.
00:48:15.400 --> 00:48:16.640
I can't do it without you, Jet.
00:48:16.920 --> 00:48:19.115
Are you kidding me? I'm not helping you.
00:48:19.280 --> 00:48:21.032
You attacked somebody with a banana.
00:48:21.200 --> 00:48:23.919
- A banana, force multiplier.
- What?
00:48:24.080 --> 00:48:26.280
Well, basically what that means
is anything in your hand
00:48:26.320 --> 00:48:28.993
is far more dangerous
than just your bare hands alone,
00:48:29.160 --> 00:48:30.160
including a banana.
00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:31.800
Oh!
00:48:32.960 --> 00:48:34.996
Oh! Ah!
00:48:35.280 --> 00:48:36.838
- A force multiplier!
- Yeah.
00:48:37.000 --> 00:48:38.479
Yeah, that's what it is.
00:48:38.680 --> 00:48:40.671
It makes so much more sense to me now.
00:48:40.840 --> 00:48:43.035
That's page-one CIA stuff.
00:48:43.200 --> 00:48:46.590
I almost forgot
that I wasn't in the fucking CIA!
00:48:47.560 --> 00:48:48.675
Stop the car.
00:48:48.840 --> 00:48:50.717
You stop the car right now! Stop the car!
00:48:50.880 --> 00:48:52.757
Okay, okay. That's a great idea, Jet.
00:48:52.920 --> 00:48:54.558
We should get off the grid right now.
00:48:55.880 --> 00:48:57.677
Whoa!
00:49:02.520 --> 00:49:04.670
All right. We're clear.
00:49:10.520 --> 00:49:11.669
Okay.
00:49:12.200 --> 00:49:14.350
Okay. Let's just take some deep breaths.
00:49:14.520 --> 00:49:16.033
Okay? Deep breaths.
00:49:16.960 --> 00:49:19.554
All you gotta do is get out of this car
00:49:19.720 --> 00:49:21.711
and have a rational conversation with Bob
00:49:21.880 --> 00:49:23.279
and he'll understand.
00:49:32.040 --> 00:49:34.873
Robert, I would like to
go home now, please.
00:49:35.040 --> 00:49:36.712
Buddy, you and me both.
00:49:36.880 --> 00:49:39.110
But until we clear our names,
there's no going home.
00:49:39.280 --> 00:49:41.475
I'm sorry, can you clarify
that last sentence for me?
00:49:41.640 --> 00:49:42.960
Yeah, well, now that you're in...
00:49:43.120 --> 00:49:45.236
Let me stop you right there. I'm not in.
00:49:45.400 --> 00:49:47.072
I never said that I was in.
00:49:47.240 --> 00:49:49.993
In fact, I expressly remember
saying that I was out!
00:49:50.160 --> 00:49:51.480
I know, but they think you're in.
00:49:51.800 --> 00:49:52.800
I am...
00:49:53.320 --> 00:49:55.231
I'm fucking out! I'm out!
00:49:55.400 --> 00:49:56.536
- What's left to tell?
- Hey, no, I get it.
00:49:56.560 --> 00:49:58.376
- I'm not in!
- I'm just saying they think you're in.
00:49:58.400 --> 00:50:01.358
- I'm not in! I am not in!
- I get it.
00:50:01.600 --> 00:50:03.591
I'm not in! I'm out!
00:50:03.760 --> 00:50:06.228
One sec, Jet, just gotta disable the GPS.
00:50:06.680 --> 00:50:07.680
Where did you...
00:50:08.120 --> 00:50:09.480
You wanna go under... That's fine!
00:50:09.920 --> 00:50:10.920
Wait a minute.
00:50:10.960 --> 00:50:12.400
You did this on purpose, didn't you?
00:50:13.360 --> 00:50:15.635
This whole thing was done on purpose.
00:50:15.800 --> 00:50:17.358
This is your plan!
00:50:17.520 --> 00:50:19.238
You tricked me!
00:50:19.400 --> 00:50:21.675
It's fine, but I know you tricked me.
00:50:21.840 --> 00:50:23.360
- Trick you?
- You tricked... Hey, boy!
00:50:23.440 --> 00:50:25.556
What? What'd you just...
00:50:25.720 --> 00:50:27.296
I didn't trick you,
you offered to help me.
00:50:27.320 --> 00:50:28.840
You know what's funny? Harris told me.
00:50:29.040 --> 00:50:30.439
She told me everything, man.
00:50:30.600 --> 00:50:32.158
She told me that you stole the codes.
00:50:32.320 --> 00:50:34.256
Let me tell you something about Harris.
You can't trust her.
00:50:34.280 --> 00:50:36.520
She's already trying to frame me
for my partner's murder!
00:50:36.920 --> 00:50:38.592
- You killed your partner?
- No.
00:50:38.800 --> 00:50:39.800
I would never do that.
00:50:39.960 --> 00:50:41.473
The Black Badger killed my partner.
00:50:41.680 --> 00:50:44.080
Let me explain to you something, dude.
This is what happened.
00:50:44.880 --> 00:50:47.240
After The Black Badger
stole the satellite encryption codes,
00:50:47.280 --> 00:50:50.875
my partner Phil and I
tracked him to a penthouse in Kiev.
00:50:51.040 --> 00:50:52.155
- Hey, Phil.
- Yeah.
00:50:52.800 --> 00:50:54.040
I'll see you on the other side.
00:50:55.320 --> 00:50:56.799
See you on the other side.
00:50:58.120 --> 00:50:59.633
All right.
00:50:59.800 --> 00:51:01.313
God, I love that guy.
00:51:01.480 --> 00:51:02.976
He knew we were coming,
so he set a trap.
00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:05.036
Hey, Bob! Bob!
00:51:05.200 --> 00:51:06.269
No!
00:51:06.440 --> 00:51:08.954
Phil was my partner,
my teammate
00:51:09.720 --> 00:51:11.472
- and I couldn't save him.
- No!
00:51:14.320 --> 00:51:15.878
It was awful, Cal.
00:51:16.040 --> 00:51:17.560
It was a setup, right from the get-go.
00:51:19.080 --> 00:51:20.115
Damn, man.
00:51:20.680 --> 00:51:21.976
The Black Badger was never there.
00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:24.275
I should've been the one
on that elevator, not Phil.
00:51:24.760 --> 00:51:25.795
God.
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:28.355
Okay. Bob, please...
00:51:28.560 --> 00:51:30.790
I'm begging you, man.
Can you just let me go home?
00:51:30.960 --> 00:51:32.473
CJ, I totally understand.
00:51:32.640 --> 00:51:34.437
But right now,
Agent Harris and her taskforce
00:51:34.600 --> 00:51:36.318
has that place surveilled up the yin-yang.
00:51:36.480 --> 00:51:38.160
She's got contract killers looking for us.
00:51:38.240 --> 00:51:39.468
Your place isn't safe.
00:51:39.640 --> 00:51:41.312
Oh, my God. Maggie.
00:51:41.480 --> 00:51:43.675
Maggie! What the hell
am I supposed to do about Maggie?
00:51:46.160 --> 00:51:47.880
Get down, Jet!
00:51:56.600 --> 00:51:58.033
Shit! Oh!
00:51:59.000 --> 00:52:00.000
Look out, Bob!
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:14.560
Who the hell is that? Who is that? Bob?
00:52:14.720 --> 00:52:15.948
Oh, shit.
00:52:21.240 --> 00:52:22.240
Larry.
00:52:25.320 --> 00:52:26.594
Thought you retired.
00:52:26.760 --> 00:52:27.760
I did.
00:52:28.320 --> 00:52:30.436
But you're worth a lot of money,
Bob, dead or alive.
00:52:30.680 --> 00:52:33.148
Well, tough luck,
because I've got back up.
00:52:33.320 --> 00:52:34.389
Ain't that right, Jet?
00:52:37.280 --> 00:52:38.280
Jet!
00:53:00.680 --> 00:53:02.989
Hey, baby. I know. I'm sorry I'm late.
00:53:03.200 --> 00:53:05.270
The stupid Koplin deposition ran long.
00:53:05.440 --> 00:53:07.431
I'm leaving right now.
I'll meet you at the house.
00:53:07.600 --> 00:53:08.794
No, no, no! Don't go home!
00:53:08.960 --> 00:53:10.598
- Don't go home!
- Why? What's going on?
00:53:10.760 --> 00:53:13.513
Nothing! Nothing.
I'm just running late, too.
00:53:13.680 --> 00:53:16.114
So I was gonna say
let's just meet at Dr. Dan's office.
00:53:17.360 --> 00:53:19.316
Yeah. Okay. Is everything all right?
00:53:19.480 --> 00:53:21.789
Yeah! Yeah. Why?
00:53:21.960 --> 00:53:23.188
Everything's fine.
00:53:23.360 --> 00:53:25.776
Because you kind of sound
like Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas.
00:53:25.800 --> 00:53:27.074
What?
00:53:28.240 --> 00:53:30.356
That's so funny, babe.
That's such a good reference.
00:53:30.560 --> 00:53:32.312
That's classic Mags right there.
00:53:32.520 --> 00:53:35.273
So, okay. So you're not
gonna go home, right?
00:53:35.480 --> 00:53:36.708
Okay, fine. I won't go home.
00:53:36.880 --> 00:53:38.416
I'll meet you at Dr. Dan's. See you soon.
00:53:38.440 --> 00:53:39.555
Okay. All right, bye.
00:53:39.720 --> 00:53:40.755
All right, bye.
00:54:03.880 --> 00:54:04.880
Get in.
00:54:22.240 --> 00:54:25.949
I'm gonna
address the elephant in the room.
00:54:26.120 --> 00:54:29.430
Okay, first of all, you...
00:54:29.600 --> 00:54:32.433
You guys, I want to say sorry to.
00:54:32.600 --> 00:54:36.149
Because what you're probably thinking
is not what happened.
00:54:36.320 --> 00:54:37.355
Accidents!
00:54:37.720 --> 00:54:38.755
I know you're like,
00:54:38.960 --> 00:54:40.416
"How can you accidentally
pistol-whip somebody
00:54:40.440 --> 00:54:41.440
"and shoot somebody?"
00:54:41.600 --> 00:54:42.600
It can happen.
00:54:42.760 --> 00:54:46.435
Okay? Today is proof
that it can happen. So...
00:54:46.600 --> 00:54:48.431
I'm glad I got to get that off my chest.
00:54:48.960 --> 00:54:50.678
Relax, Mr. Joyner. I believe you.
00:54:50.840 --> 00:54:52.717
Okay, thank you.
00:54:52.880 --> 00:54:55.440
Trust me, I know a
scared-shitless civilian when I see one.
00:54:55.640 --> 00:54:56.868
You don't have to convince me.
00:54:57.040 --> 00:54:59.793
You got him over here. That is me.
00:54:59.960 --> 00:55:01.791
Right now, I'm not comfortable.
00:55:01.960 --> 00:55:03.678
Okay, I am scared, okay?
00:55:03.840 --> 00:55:06.195
I don't have no shit in my system.
00:55:06.400 --> 00:55:08.356
If I sat down on a toilet,
nothing's coming out.
00:55:08.520 --> 00:55:09.669
Farts or just air.
00:55:16.320 --> 00:55:17.548
It'd sound like lasers.
00:55:17.720 --> 00:55:19.153
Thank you for that description.
00:55:19.720 --> 00:55:21.472
Mr. Joyner, let me explain something.
00:55:21.640 --> 00:55:22.914
Bob's last forced psych eval
00:55:23.080 --> 00:55:25.992
show a person rapidly losing
his grip on reality.
00:55:26.160 --> 00:55:27.673
Bob became obsessed with a ghost,
00:55:28.160 --> 00:55:29.354
a figment of his imagination,
00:55:29.520 --> 00:55:31.158
he started calling "The Black Badger."
00:55:31.320 --> 00:55:33.311
This obsession led to an instability,
00:55:33.480 --> 00:55:36.153
first reported by his partner, Phil,
three weeks ago.
00:55:36.320 --> 00:55:38.834
Just before Phil was killed in the field.
00:55:39.000 --> 00:55:40.194
Do you know how Phil died?
00:55:40.360 --> 00:55:43.158
Yeah, Bob told me that
The Black Badger killed him.
00:55:47.400 --> 00:55:48.435
What?
00:55:49.360 --> 00:55:50.360
What?
00:55:50.520 --> 00:55:54.274
Mr. Joyner, Bob Stone is The Black Badger.
00:55:54.880 --> 00:55:57.394
Phil was Bob's partner of six years.
00:55:57.560 --> 00:55:58.560
His best friend.
00:55:58.760 --> 00:56:01.035
- See you on the other side.
- See you on the other side.
00:56:02.040 --> 00:56:03.519
Hey, Bob!
00:56:03.680 --> 00:56:06.000
After he stole
the satellite encryption codes
00:56:06.120 --> 00:56:07.269
Bob betrayed Phil.
00:56:07.440 --> 00:56:08.440
No!
00:56:09.200 --> 00:56:11.873
He killed him to cover his tracks.
00:56:15.880 --> 00:56:18.952
And, after that, Bob went rogue.
00:56:19.200 --> 00:56:20.918
This is all that's left of Phil.
00:56:24.520 --> 00:56:27.193
Um, this is PornHub.
00:56:27.960 --> 00:56:30.872
Oh, shit, shit, shit. Sorry.
00:56:31.720 --> 00:56:32.720
There you go.
00:56:33.360 --> 00:56:36.636
Oh! Oh, God! Oh, I didn't see that coming.
00:56:37.400 --> 00:56:38.515
Oh, man!
00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:42.150
- It's a hell of a way to go.
- Okay, wait a minute.
00:56:42.320 --> 00:56:44.776
Why wouldn't Bob just go sell
the satellite encryption codes himself?
00:56:44.800 --> 00:56:46.736
Because in a black market
blind-bidding situation,
00:56:46.760 --> 00:56:48.536
the buyer and the seller,
they don't know each other.
00:56:48.560 --> 00:56:51.080
They need the auction site
to tell them exactly where to meet up
00:56:51.120 --> 00:56:52.320
and when to make the exchange.
00:56:52.840 --> 00:56:55.912
The transaction number
from the auction site gives them that,
00:56:56.080 --> 00:56:58.071
which means Bob still needs you.
00:56:59.080 --> 00:57:00.216
Which is why we find ourselves
00:57:00.240 --> 00:57:02.549
in a little catch-and-release scenario.
00:57:02.760 --> 00:57:04.796
You are the only one Bob trusts.
00:57:05.600 --> 00:57:07.136
That's why we're putting you in the field.
00:57:07.160 --> 00:57:09.037
The next time you're with Bob,
00:57:10.080 --> 00:57:11.752
press this button.
00:57:11.920 --> 00:57:13.273
We're going to have him cold.
00:57:19.560 --> 00:57:21.357
Now, go take care of your marriage.
00:57:21.520 --> 00:57:24.432
One more thing. Don't tell your wife shit.
00:57:25.600 --> 00:57:26.919
All right.
00:57:28.840 --> 00:57:30.136
I just don't know
what's wrong.
00:57:30.160 --> 00:57:31.673
I mean, the man that I married,
00:57:31.880 --> 00:57:33.916
the person I knew in high school,
00:57:34.080 --> 00:57:38.198
he was filled
with drive and desire. I mean...
00:57:38.360 --> 00:57:39.816
We used to sneak off every lunch hour
00:57:39.840 --> 00:57:41.320
and make out under the gym bleachers.
00:57:41.440 --> 00:57:43.396
Like, that guy, back then,
00:57:43.600 --> 00:57:45.750
- he wanted things, you know?
- Hmm.
00:57:45.920 --> 00:57:48.195
Hey, I'm sorry I'm late.
I couldn't find parking.
00:57:48.400 --> 00:57:50.336
Hi, no, no, it's okay.
We got started without you.
00:57:50.360 --> 00:57:52.191
Babe, Calvin, this is Dr. Dan.
00:57:52.640 --> 00:57:53.709
Hello, Calvin.
00:57:53.880 --> 00:57:55.996
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, jeez. What's the matter?
00:57:56.200 --> 00:57:58.430
- Holy shit! Get behind me!
- Honey... Calvin, what?
00:57:58.600 --> 00:58:00.875
It's okay, Maggie. It's okay. Just relax.
00:58:01.080 --> 00:58:03.361
This is a very common reaction
in the therapeutic process.
00:58:03.520 --> 00:58:04.520
- It is?
- What?
00:58:04.680 --> 00:58:05.680
It is. It absolutely is.
00:58:05.840 --> 00:58:08.957
Calvin, this is a very safe place.
Please, sit down.
00:58:09.120 --> 00:58:11.056
- This is not a safe place!
- No, no, no. Honey, it's a...
00:58:11.080 --> 00:58:12.696
No, this is most definitely
not a safe place!
00:58:12.720 --> 00:58:14.517
Me and my wife are leaving. Let's go.
00:58:14.680 --> 00:58:16.671
No, no, no! You are going to sit down,
00:58:16.840 --> 00:58:19.798
and we are going to go through
this therapeutic process...
00:58:19.960 --> 00:58:21.837
- Yes.
- ...together, as a couple.
00:58:22.400 --> 00:58:24.231
Um... Fine, fine, fine.
00:58:24.400 --> 00:58:25.879
Sit down. Thank you.
00:58:26.040 --> 00:58:27.075
Fine.
00:58:27.240 --> 00:58:30.994
Okay, guys. Why don't we start off
with a little bit of word association?
00:58:31.160 --> 00:58:32.195
Okay.
00:58:32.400 --> 00:58:33.400
This is exciting.
00:58:33.560 --> 00:58:35.516
I've heard this can
really open a couple up.
00:58:36.280 --> 00:58:39.636
Uh, Maggie, I'm going
to offer you a word,
00:58:39.800 --> 00:58:43.679
and you respond
however you're moved to from here.
00:58:43.840 --> 00:58:44.875
Okay.
00:58:45.080 --> 00:58:46.308
- Black.
- White.
00:58:46.480 --> 00:58:47.959
- Water.
- Ocean.
00:58:48.120 --> 00:58:50.350
- Sunshine.
- Happy.
00:58:51.000 --> 00:58:53.468
- I'm very impressed, Maggie.
- Really?
00:58:53.640 --> 00:58:54.914
You're very in tune.
00:58:55.480 --> 00:58:56.879
I'm very in tune.
00:58:57.040 --> 00:58:59.110
Calvin, you're next.
00:58:59.280 --> 00:59:00.952
I do not want to do this.
00:59:01.280 --> 00:59:03.794
Relax, Calvin. There are no wrong answers.
00:59:03.960 --> 00:59:04.960
Up.
00:59:06.640 --> 00:59:07.675
Down.
00:59:08.280 --> 00:59:09.280
Mmm.
00:59:10.200 --> 00:59:11.394
"Mmm." What is that?
00:59:11.760 --> 00:59:12.776
What're you writing in your book?
00:59:12.800 --> 00:59:14.296
- It's fine. Don't freak out.
- Nobody's freaking out.
00:59:14.320 --> 00:59:16.096
I just don't understand
the rules to the game.
00:59:16.120 --> 00:59:17.314
Freaking out.
00:59:18.280 --> 00:59:20.191
Let's switch gears for a second, okay?
00:59:21.640 --> 00:59:23.312
Maggie, during lovemaking,
00:59:24.920 --> 00:59:27.992
have you ever placed anything
inside of Calvin's anus?
00:59:28.160 --> 00:59:29.479
What the hell did you just say?
00:59:29.640 --> 00:59:31.517
Well, yeah, there was this one time.
00:59:31.680 --> 00:59:34.016
- You remember? Game of Thrones finale.
- What are you talking about?
00:59:34.040 --> 00:59:36.076
I was Khaleesi, you were Littlefinger...
00:59:36.240 --> 00:59:38.879
- Okay, all right, stop. That's enough.
- Please, please, please.
00:59:39.240 --> 00:59:42.516
Why don't we try a simple
role-playing exercise?
00:59:42.720 --> 00:59:44.517
Calvin, you be Calvin
00:59:44.720 --> 00:59:47.109
and I will become Maggie.
00:59:47.440 --> 00:59:48.793
Mmm.
00:59:49.520 --> 00:59:50.839
I'm confused.
00:59:55.520 --> 00:59:57.192
It's called "soul gazing."
00:59:57.400 --> 01:00:00.995
Stare into my soul
and I'll stare into yours.
01:00:01.720 --> 01:00:03.597
- Maggie, this...
- Hey. Shh.
01:00:03.760 --> 01:00:05.830
There's no talking, and don't look away.
01:00:06.000 --> 01:00:07.353
Stare into my soul.
01:00:07.880 --> 01:00:08.995
You are not my...
01:00:09.160 --> 01:00:10.195
Shh. There's no talking.
01:00:10.680 --> 01:00:12.238
Babe, I'm not staring...
01:00:12.680 --> 01:00:15.672
Me and you.
Stay with me. I'm your wife.
01:00:15.880 --> 01:00:17.520
You are not my wife.
01:00:20.040 --> 01:00:21.393
How could you hit your wife?
01:00:22.000 --> 01:00:23.228
How can I... How can I what?
01:00:23.400 --> 01:00:24.992
- You hit your wife!
- No...
01:00:25.160 --> 01:00:26.160
- He hit me!
- Okay.
01:00:26.320 --> 01:00:27.320
- He hit you!
- Okay.
01:00:27.480 --> 01:00:28.754
You hit us!
01:00:33.400 --> 01:00:35.216
- I'm swaddling you.
- I know what you're doing.
01:00:35.240 --> 01:00:36.776
- I'm swaddling you.
- I know what you're...
01:00:36.800 --> 01:00:37.800
Come here.
01:00:38.360 --> 01:00:39.509
Oh, my God!
01:00:39.960 --> 01:00:40.960
You...
01:00:42.080 --> 01:00:44.514
You know what? We're leaving! Let's go!
01:00:45.000 --> 01:00:46.638
This is not real.
01:00:46.800 --> 01:00:48.358
It's real to me.
01:00:48.520 --> 01:00:49.714
You know what, Calvin?
01:00:49.880 --> 01:00:52.030
If you can't commit
to working on our marriage,
01:00:52.200 --> 01:00:53.792
then you need to let me know.
01:00:54.000 --> 01:00:55.319
Maggie, you...
01:00:57.600 --> 01:00:59.238
- What!
- Oh, my God!
01:00:59.400 --> 01:01:00.680
You're... Something's not right.
01:01:00.760 --> 01:01:03.718
Come on, Jet, listen.
Come on, come on, Jet!
01:01:03.880 --> 01:01:05.976
Now, I know things got
a little rough there at the end.
01:01:06.000 --> 01:01:08.376
But the truth is, with all the heat
that you have coming down on you,
01:01:08.400 --> 01:01:10.311
Maggie is definitely safer without you.
01:01:11.400 --> 01:01:13.675
And, trust me,
when this whole thing is said and done
01:01:13.840 --> 01:01:15.536
and you basically
save the entire free world,
01:01:15.560 --> 01:01:17.949
she's going to forgive you.
It'll all work itself out.
01:01:18.120 --> 01:01:19.553
It'll all work itself out?
01:01:20.360 --> 01:01:22.416
Okay, Bob, you know,
I'm sick of playing games with you.
01:01:22.440 --> 01:01:23.839
Where's the real Dr. Dan?
01:01:24.600 --> 01:01:25.669
What-what?
01:01:25.840 --> 01:01:28.752
Oh, my... Dr. Dan,
I had nothing to do with this.
01:01:28.920 --> 01:01:30.376
He's fine. I'll get you some water
in a little bit.
01:01:30.400 --> 01:01:32.630
- Thanks, doc.
- You know...
01:01:32.880 --> 01:01:34.791
That's it. That is it.
01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:36.638
That is it.
01:01:38.040 --> 01:01:39.075
All right, Jet.
01:01:39.240 --> 01:01:41.231
I see that Harris has given you
a button to push.
01:01:42.200 --> 01:01:44.840
Relax, I would've taken the same deal,
too, if I was in your shoes.
01:01:44.960 --> 01:01:47.269
Otherwise, she wouldn't
let you out of her sight, right?
01:01:47.440 --> 01:01:48.873
It makes perfect sense.
01:01:50.080 --> 01:01:51.960
But you're not going to
press the button, right?
01:01:53.120 --> 01:01:55.156
You got the top-secret satellite codes?
01:01:55.720 --> 01:01:56.948
Yes or no?
01:01:57.120 --> 01:01:58.917
This ain't the time to bullshit me.
01:01:59.080 --> 01:02:00.798
Okay, my ass is sweating.
01:02:00.960 --> 01:02:02.200
I'm nervous. Don't bullshit me!
01:02:02.400 --> 01:02:04.470
Of course not, dude. Hey, hey, come on!
01:02:04.640 --> 01:02:05.960
Of course I don't have the codes.
01:02:06.120 --> 01:02:07.736
Why would I go through
all this trouble, then?
01:02:07.760 --> 01:02:09.990
I need your skill set, Jet, to help me get
01:02:10.200 --> 01:02:12.270
the bank transaction numbers
to the winning bid.
01:02:12.440 --> 01:02:14.112
We already know it's going down tonight
01:02:14.280 --> 01:02:15.720
from the countdown on your computer.
01:02:15.800 --> 01:02:17.279
Now, all we need is the "where."
01:02:17.720 --> 01:02:20.001
And the bank transaction numbers
will give us the "where."
01:02:20.080 --> 01:02:21.274
That's why I need you.
01:02:21.440 --> 01:02:22.793
Your job gives you access to
01:02:22.960 --> 01:02:24.678
exactly that kind of information.
01:02:24.880 --> 01:02:26.950
Then we can get The Badger,
we can get the buyer
01:02:27.120 --> 01:02:28.189
in one fell swoop.
01:02:28.360 --> 01:02:30.078
And it'll all be over tonight.
01:02:30.280 --> 01:02:31.474
Please, I swear.
01:02:31.680 --> 01:02:33.113
You gotta believe me.
01:02:43.000 --> 01:02:45.070
Can't you just get us
the transaction number?
01:02:45.480 --> 01:02:47.755
Not when the money
originates from an offshore account.
01:02:47.920 --> 01:02:48.920
When that happens,
01:02:49.080 --> 01:02:51.416
then only a certified international
banking official can access it.
01:02:51.440 --> 01:02:53.520
But, it shouldn't be a problem.
We just give this guy
01:02:53.680 --> 01:02:55.480
the offshore account numbers
that you gave me,
01:02:55.600 --> 01:02:57.216
then he can give us the transaction number
01:02:57.240 --> 01:02:59.536
without knowing that
he's committing treason when he does it.
01:02:59.560 --> 01:03:00.754
Sound familiar?
01:03:00.960 --> 01:03:02.996
Ouch! Low blow, CJ.
01:03:03.160 --> 01:03:05.071
Hey, besides,
it's only treason if we're wrong.
01:03:05.240 --> 01:03:06.559
Who's this mystery man?
01:03:07.960 --> 01:03:08.960
It's Trevor.
01:03:13.680 --> 01:03:14.795
Trevor.
01:03:17.600 --> 01:03:19.320
This week
just keeps getting better.
01:03:19.440 --> 01:03:20.634
You know, I mean,
01:03:20.960 --> 01:03:24.316
Robbie Wheirdicht and Calvin
"The Golden Jet" Joyner in my office.
01:03:24.480 --> 01:03:26.436
Who would've thunk it? Not me.
01:03:26.600 --> 01:03:28.431
This is great, huh?
01:03:28.600 --> 01:03:30.591
Talk about caterpillar to the butterfly...
01:03:30.760 --> 01:03:32.671
What is this? P90X?
01:03:32.840 --> 01:03:35.718
More like "P1,000,000X," huh?
01:03:35.880 --> 01:03:37.438
Congratulations.
01:03:37.880 --> 01:03:39.359
Hey, I, um...
01:03:39.520 --> 01:03:41.000
I really appreciate the help, Trevor.
01:03:41.120 --> 01:03:43.440
My client's all on me
to get this stuff handled right away.
01:03:43.520 --> 01:03:44.669
So, you know, if we could...
01:03:44.880 --> 01:03:46.791
Say no more.
It's my pleasure. I've been there.
01:03:46.960 --> 01:03:48.576
These international accounts
can be very, very tricky
01:03:48.600 --> 01:03:49.816
if you don't have the right clearances.
01:03:49.840 --> 01:03:51.592
You can get a bunch of digital red tape.
01:03:52.000 --> 01:03:53.956
I'm happy to help, you know?
01:03:54.120 --> 01:03:55.155
Robbie.
01:03:55.320 --> 01:03:57.117
You're such a blast from the past, buddy.
01:03:57.280 --> 01:03:58.416
How long has it been since I saw you?
01:03:58.440 --> 01:03:59.475
Was it high school?
01:04:02.480 --> 01:04:03.480
What's that?
01:04:03.640 --> 01:04:06.080
Um... How we doing
with those account access codes?
01:04:06.240 --> 01:04:07.416
- Are they coming?
- It's coming.
01:04:07.440 --> 01:04:08.800
- Everything's good?
- It's coming.
01:04:08.840 --> 01:04:11.416
I'm going as fast as I can. I know
you guys are in a rush. I'm so sorry.
01:04:11.440 --> 01:04:13.476
Anything for a couple of fellow Centaurs.
01:04:13.640 --> 01:04:16.393
Speaking of which, you guys are going
to the reunion tonight, right?
01:04:18.440 --> 01:04:20.158
No, I don't think so.
01:04:20.320 --> 01:04:21.616
You're both going.
01:04:21.640 --> 01:04:23.358
Here it is.
Here's your transaction number.
01:04:23.520 --> 01:04:25.256
You're both going
because you want to know what?
01:04:25.280 --> 01:04:26.560
Stinky Pete's going to be there.
01:04:26.680 --> 01:04:29.592
And Jimmy Longballs called me.
He's going to be hanging.
01:04:30.360 --> 01:04:33.272
Carlos Nagasaki, the Mexican eggroll.
He's going to be there.
01:04:33.800 --> 01:04:35.791
You guys will be missing out on a big one.
01:04:35.960 --> 01:04:37.256
Plus you know what they're going to do?
01:04:37.280 --> 01:04:39.416
They're going to vote on
homecoming king and queen again.
01:04:39.440 --> 01:04:41.200
Maybe you and Maggie
can make it two for two.
01:04:41.360 --> 01:04:43.510
Now, before you go,
stay seated one second.
01:04:43.680 --> 01:04:45.352
Give me two minutes, sit down.
01:04:46.040 --> 01:04:47.632
Men,
01:04:48.160 --> 01:04:49.479
a few years ago...
01:04:50.680 --> 01:04:52.636
I found the Lord Almighty.
01:04:52.800 --> 01:04:53.800
And, ever since then,
01:04:53.960 --> 01:04:56.793
my life has been
completely different. Okay?
01:04:56.960 --> 01:04:59.315
He's got a plan for
each and every one of us
01:04:59.480 --> 01:05:01.357
and, in his infinite wisdom,
01:05:01.520 --> 01:05:03.750
he makes no mistakes. Hmm?
01:05:04.320 --> 01:05:05.639
You're right about that.
01:05:05.800 --> 01:05:07.136
I think the Lord put you here because
01:05:07.160 --> 01:05:08.656
he wants me to get something off my chest.
01:05:08.680 --> 01:05:10.040
He wants me to clear my conscience
01:05:10.160 --> 01:05:11.720
and he wants me to ask for forgiveness.
01:05:11.880 --> 01:05:12.880
Robert.
01:05:13.080 --> 01:05:15.514
What I did to you
at that rally in senior year
01:05:15.720 --> 01:05:17.153
was a cowardly act.
01:05:17.320 --> 01:05:19.675
It's something that
I've regretted every single day.
01:05:19.840 --> 01:05:22.832
Yeah. I mean,
bullying is a national crisis.
01:05:23.000 --> 01:05:27.357
It can leave people
with a lifetime of pain.
01:05:27.520 --> 01:05:30.956
And I just have no excuse
for what I did to you.
01:05:31.120 --> 01:05:33.536
I mean, I did grow up in a house
with a father who was physical,
01:05:33.560 --> 01:05:35.960
but that doesn't give me
the right to take it out on somebody
01:05:36.040 --> 01:05:38.508
who at the time
was weaker, you know? So...
01:05:38.880 --> 01:05:41.997
Calvin, with this particular
transgression,
01:05:42.160 --> 01:05:45.675
I not only embarrassed him
but I also ruined your final speech.
01:05:45.840 --> 01:05:47.478
- No, no.
- Yes, I did.
01:05:47.640 --> 01:05:50.096
- It's okay. No, it's okay.
- No, really, I stole your thunder.
01:05:50.120 --> 01:05:52.656
And it's another thing that
I've had to live with every single day.
01:05:52.680 --> 01:05:55.513
And I work through it
in individual therapy as well as group,
01:05:55.720 --> 01:05:57.392
and I pray about it.
01:05:59.200 --> 01:06:00.315
So...
01:06:03.720 --> 01:06:07.918
I just want to say how truly sorry I am
01:06:08.080 --> 01:06:10.594
for what happened, you know.
01:06:10.760 --> 01:06:12.193
Or for what I did.
01:06:12.400 --> 01:06:13.680
It didn't just happen. I did it.
01:06:13.840 --> 01:06:16.559
I did it, and I wish to God
that I had not done it.
01:06:17.080 --> 01:06:20.197
So, I'm hoping that
you can find it in your heart
01:06:21.400 --> 01:06:23.277
to forgive me.
01:06:25.080 --> 01:06:27.196
I wasn't expecting this at all.
01:06:27.360 --> 01:06:29.032
Don't I know it. I know it.
01:06:30.240 --> 01:06:31.719
I'm just so happy.
01:06:32.840 --> 01:06:34.398
I don't know what to say.
01:06:35.160 --> 01:06:36.752
How about you say...
01:06:38.240 --> 01:06:42.199
"The Oscar goes to Trevor Olson."
01:06:45.640 --> 01:06:47.232
What do you mean?
01:06:55.400 --> 01:06:56.674
Weird Dick!
01:06:56.840 --> 01:06:58.432
You stupid ass!
01:06:58.600 --> 01:07:00.272
Good God, you're dumb!
01:07:00.440 --> 01:07:02.351
Dumber than ever, I guess!
01:07:02.520 --> 01:07:04.272
And you, too, Calvin!
01:07:04.440 --> 01:07:07.079
Look at that stupid look
on those two faces.
01:07:07.240 --> 01:07:10.073
"The Lord taught me to care."
Unbelievable.
01:07:10.240 --> 01:07:13.516
I'm a Scientologist. Okay, that's "A."
01:07:13.680 --> 01:07:15.955
And thetan-free since 2003.
01:07:16.120 --> 01:07:17.120
Clear as shit.
01:07:17.280 --> 01:07:18.520
And "I'm sorry for what I did"?
01:07:18.720 --> 01:07:20.056
Let me tell you what I'm sorry about.
01:07:20.080 --> 01:07:22.616
I'm sorry I didn't toss your naked ass
out there three more times.
01:07:22.640 --> 01:07:24.000
It was the best senior prank ever.
01:07:24.120 --> 01:07:25.599
I still get emails about it.
01:07:25.840 --> 01:07:27.680
And if I'd had
one of these bad boys back then,
01:07:27.840 --> 01:07:29.200
I would have shot it, uploaded it,
01:07:29.320 --> 01:07:31.754
and it would have gone crazy viral,
a zillion hits.
01:07:31.920 --> 01:07:32.955
Know what?
01:07:33.120 --> 01:07:34.856
You're going to regret
you ever opened your mouth.
01:07:34.880 --> 01:07:37.269
- You hear me, Trevor?
- Yeah? How come, Calvin?
01:07:37.440 --> 01:07:39.056
Because he's about to
whoop your ass, that's why.
01:07:39.080 --> 01:07:40.080
Who is?
01:07:40.280 --> 01:07:41.456
Bob, get up and whoop his ass.
01:07:41.480 --> 01:07:43.550
Here she comes!
Let me tell you something...
01:07:43.720 --> 01:07:46.598
Weird Dick can't chug
a bunch of fucking steroids and elk urine
01:07:46.760 --> 01:07:48.637
and suddenly be able to kick my ass.
01:07:48.800 --> 01:07:50.791
Fuck that! It ain't gonna happen.
01:07:51.160 --> 01:07:52.434
'Cause here's why.
01:07:53.840 --> 01:07:57.355
Once a fat kid, always a fat kid.
01:07:57.880 --> 01:07:58.995
Huh? Prove me wrong.
01:07:59.160 --> 01:08:00.800
Bob, come on. Do what you did in the bar.
01:08:11.640 --> 01:08:13.710
Come on, hit me!
01:08:13.880 --> 01:08:16.155
And I'll sue your ass,
and take your fanny pack away.
01:08:18.280 --> 01:08:19.713
You got to make poopies?
01:08:20.080 --> 01:08:21.080
What's wrong, Bob?
01:08:21.280 --> 01:08:22.315
We got a john here.
01:08:22.840 --> 01:08:24.671
Or you got to change your rag?
01:08:25.400 --> 01:08:26.400
Maybe that's it.
01:08:26.760 --> 01:08:28.512
Jenny, you got an extra rag?
01:08:29.720 --> 01:08:31.711
- What's the matter with you?
- I just want to go.
01:08:31.880 --> 01:08:33.154
She wants to go.
01:08:33.880 --> 01:08:35.871
Go ahead. There you go.
01:08:36.480 --> 01:08:37.549
No, it's a push.
01:08:37.720 --> 01:08:39.915
Boy, 50-50 shot. You missed that.
01:08:40.080 --> 01:08:41.399
At least you found the handle.
01:08:41.560 --> 01:08:44.028
Boy, he's still a scared little bitch.
01:08:44.200 --> 01:08:45.560
You know, you're still an asshole.
01:08:45.720 --> 01:08:47.756
Yeah, well, you're still
shorter than my cat.
01:08:48.560 --> 01:08:49.800
Here's your transaction number.
01:08:50.080 --> 01:08:51.559
Hit it, dick licker.
01:08:53.200 --> 01:08:55.156
- Thank you, Trevor.
- Yup.
01:08:56.120 --> 01:08:57.838
Glad to see you haven't changed a bit.
01:08:58.000 --> 01:08:59.000
Bye-bye now.
01:08:59.160 --> 01:09:00.560
- Was it push or pull?
- Clean push.
01:09:00.600 --> 01:09:02.296
- Which one is it?
- You want me to do it for you?
01:09:02.320 --> 01:09:03.320
Which one is it?
01:09:04.560 --> 01:09:07.120
Hey, hey, hey! Goddamn it, Joyner!
01:09:07.280 --> 01:09:08.429
Jenny!
01:09:08.600 --> 01:09:11.478
Jenny, get the Windex!
And security for this one.
01:09:11.640 --> 01:09:13.915
Get your asshole off my door! That's it!
01:09:15.480 --> 01:09:17.357
Bob! Bob!
01:09:17.680 --> 01:09:19.511
Bob! Bob! Bob!
01:09:26.640 --> 01:09:28.835
Mr. Joyner. Guess who
we're about to arrest
01:09:29.000 --> 01:09:30.956
for conspiracy to commit treason.
01:09:33.720 --> 01:09:36.188
That's right. Your lovely wife.
01:09:36.400 --> 01:09:38.152
So, here's what you're going to do.
01:09:38.360 --> 01:09:40.874
You're going to tell us
exactly where you and Bob are.
01:09:41.040 --> 01:09:43.496
Then you're going to go outside
and you're going to keep Bob on-site
01:09:43.520 --> 01:09:44.555
until we arrive.
01:09:44.800 --> 01:09:46.995
And if he leaves, you lose.
01:09:47.760 --> 01:09:49.318
Is that clear?
01:09:54.840 --> 01:09:55.840
Oh, hey.
01:09:56.040 --> 01:09:57.416
I don't know what happened in there,
01:09:57.440 --> 01:09:58.589
and I just froze up.
01:09:58.760 --> 01:10:00.432
I locked up. I'm sorry.
01:10:01.000 --> 01:10:02.035
Look, Bob, I...
01:10:02.200 --> 01:10:04.555
No, I gotta tell you something,
CJ, listen.
01:10:04.760 --> 01:10:06.600
You're the only one
who's ever been nice to me,
01:10:06.760 --> 01:10:08.637
the only one who's never laughed at me.
01:10:08.800 --> 01:10:11.917
And you're the only one
in this whole world that I trust.
01:10:12.080 --> 01:10:14.036
And I know you have a lot of friends,
01:10:16.600 --> 01:10:17.635
but I don't.
01:10:19.440 --> 01:10:20.793
You're my only friend, Calvin.
01:10:21.480 --> 01:10:24.074
And I will never
let you down again, I promise.
01:10:25.840 --> 01:10:27.398
I'm sorry, man.
01:10:31.080 --> 01:10:32.195
Sorry for what?
01:10:32.360 --> 01:10:34.032
I told Harris where we are.
01:10:35.080 --> 01:10:36.638
They were going to hurt Maggie.
01:10:36.800 --> 01:10:38.756
I had to. I didn't have a choice.
01:10:39.280 --> 01:10:40.395
I'm sorry.
01:10:45.480 --> 01:10:47.391
Freeze, Bob! Hands on your head!
01:10:47.560 --> 01:10:48.560
Do it now!
01:11:19.120 --> 01:11:20.633
I know you know how this goes,
01:11:20.800 --> 01:11:22.313
so I'll spare you the dramatics.
01:11:22.480 --> 01:11:24.550
I'll ask you just once.
01:11:24.720 --> 01:11:26.950
Where are the satellite encryption codes?
01:11:29.080 --> 01:11:31.116
Aw. What's the matter, Bob?
01:11:31.840 --> 01:11:34.991
Are you upset that
your friend turned you in?
01:11:35.560 --> 01:11:37.198
I don't have any friends.
01:11:37.360 --> 01:11:39.032
Okay, I don't want to watch this, guys.
01:11:39.200 --> 01:11:40.599
Don't worry, it'll be over quick.
01:11:40.760 --> 01:11:42.318
She always gets them to break.
01:11:42.520 --> 01:11:44.875
Okay. You have it your way.
01:11:45.040 --> 01:11:46.632
We're going to do this old-school.
01:11:54.680 --> 01:11:56.591
Get the extraction tools.
01:11:58.360 --> 01:12:00.316
The extraction tools?
01:12:00.680 --> 01:12:02.636
If you don't have the stomach for it,
you can go.
01:12:03.440 --> 01:12:04.919
Come on.
01:12:07.560 --> 01:12:08.595
Stop recording.
01:12:18.800 --> 01:12:20.920
Why am I coming here?
I was told I'd be able to leave.
01:12:20.960 --> 01:12:22.029
You can leave,
01:12:22.200 --> 01:12:23.680
when Agent Harris says you can leave,
01:12:23.800 --> 01:12:24.869
which might be never.
01:12:25.080 --> 01:12:26.433
I gotta watch this.
01:12:34.800 --> 01:12:36.313
I'm sorry, Bob.
01:12:36.800 --> 01:12:38.074
I'm sorry, man.
01:12:51.280 --> 01:12:52.395
Oh, Jesus!
01:13:00.240 --> 01:13:01.240
What the hell?
01:13:02.800 --> 01:13:04.472
Hey! Hey!
01:13:06.040 --> 01:13:07.040
Don't move!
01:13:07.200 --> 01:13:09.634
You get your hands off!
Get them off the keyboard!
01:13:09.800 --> 01:13:11.880
- What are you doing, Calvin?
- Give me your keycard!
01:13:12.080 --> 01:13:13.593
Give me your keycard!
01:13:14.200 --> 01:13:15.200
Give it to me.
01:13:15.640 --> 01:13:16.675
- Okay...
- Go sit down.
01:13:16.840 --> 01:13:18.432
Okay. Yeah.
01:13:18.600 --> 01:13:19.919
Sorry. I'm sorry.
01:13:20.120 --> 01:13:22.111
- Sit down! Sit down!
- Okay, okay, okay.
01:13:24.360 --> 01:13:25.360
You know, Bob?
01:13:25.520 --> 01:13:28.159
This is actually
my favorite part of the job.
01:13:28.320 --> 01:13:30.550
Thank you for being so uncooperative.
01:13:30.720 --> 01:13:32.336
What do you think
your little buddy, Joyner,
01:13:32.360 --> 01:13:33.960
would say if he could see you like this?
01:13:34.120 --> 01:13:35.120
Two words.
01:13:35.280 --> 01:13:36.315
I'm in.
01:13:37.320 --> 01:13:39.151
What-what?
01:13:39.480 --> 01:13:41.835
You're making a big mistake, Mr. Joyner.
01:13:42.000 --> 01:13:43.956
That's only if I'm wrong.
01:13:45.800 --> 01:13:47.313
Come on, Bob. Let's go!
01:13:47.520 --> 01:13:49.351
What're you doing? Come on, man!
01:13:50.800 --> 01:13:52.995
Okay, listen to me. Bob, I'm sorry.
01:13:53.160 --> 01:13:55.116
I'm sorry I double-crossed you.
You hear me?
01:13:55.320 --> 01:13:57.496
I should've believed you,
I should've trusted you, and I didn't.
01:13:57.520 --> 01:13:58.520
I'm sorry for that.
01:13:58.680 --> 01:14:01.240
Listen to me. Bob,
we don't have time for this, man!
01:14:01.400 --> 01:14:03.516
I need you to tap into
that super-spy stuff
01:14:03.680 --> 01:14:06.592
and I need you to get us the hell
out of here right now. Do you hear me?
01:14:06.840 --> 01:14:08.592
I'm not a super spy, Calvin.
01:14:09.680 --> 01:14:11.796
I'm Robbie Wheirdicht, super tool.
01:14:11.960 --> 01:14:14.030
No, stop. You're not a super tool.
01:14:14.200 --> 01:14:16.589
You're not even Robbie Wheirdicht.
You're Bob Stone!
01:14:17.200 --> 01:14:18.920
- I made that name up.
- So what?
01:14:19.040 --> 01:14:21.400
- It's not real.
- What does that mean? What does that mean?
01:14:21.440 --> 01:14:25.194
You think Mr. T and Sting
were born with those names?
01:14:26.920 --> 01:14:28.896
How do you think I got
the name "Golden Jet" at high school?
01:14:28.920 --> 01:14:31.832
- 'Cause you're awesome.
- No, that's not how.
01:14:32.720 --> 01:14:35.359
In the eighth grade, I ran track.
It was my first race.
01:14:35.520 --> 01:14:38.398
Okay, the race came down
to me and this other kid.
01:14:38.560 --> 01:14:40.039
I wanted to win the race so damn bad
01:14:40.240 --> 01:14:42.390
that I ended up peeing in my pants
at the finish line.
01:14:42.640 --> 01:14:44.392
That's how I got the name "Golden Jet."
01:14:45.120 --> 01:14:48.160
So, take it from a guy who's literally
pissed his pants in front of everybody
01:14:48.200 --> 01:14:49.553
just to win a race.
01:14:49.800 --> 01:14:51.711
You are who you decide to be.
01:14:52.240 --> 01:14:54.993
And you chose to be
an international CIA spy.
01:14:55.360 --> 01:14:57.320
Come on, man.
You get to kill people for a living.
01:14:57.760 --> 01:14:58.760
How cool is that?
01:15:00.920 --> 01:15:03.115
I don't know.
01:15:03.400 --> 01:15:04.400
Kinda cool I guess.
01:15:05.000 --> 01:15:07.116
What do you mean "kinda cool"?
Ain't no kinda cool.
01:15:07.480 --> 01:15:09.436
Stop it! It's awesome.
01:15:09.760 --> 01:15:11.079
Now, come on, man. We boys?
01:15:12.760 --> 01:15:13.760
- We're boys.
- Oh!
01:15:15.440 --> 01:15:16.440
Sorry, Jet.
01:15:16.920 --> 01:15:18.592
Oh, God!
01:15:19.520 --> 01:15:20.520
Oh, God!
01:15:20.920 --> 01:15:22.512
See? Good as new.
01:15:23.800 --> 01:15:25.631
Wow. Sorry, man.
01:15:29.560 --> 01:15:30.595
Go, go!
01:15:31.120 --> 01:15:32.296
Get me out!
01:15:32.320 --> 01:15:34.197
He got the jump on us. Give me the key.
01:15:37.600 --> 01:15:39.040
Look out, Bob!
01:15:39.760 --> 01:15:41.876
Here, Jet! Get him!
01:15:42.040 --> 01:15:43.439
Watch out!
01:15:52.120 --> 01:15:53.473
Did you see that, Bob?
01:15:53.640 --> 01:15:55.710
I did the thing! I did the thing, Bob!
01:15:55.880 --> 01:15:56.880
Yeah!
01:15:57.040 --> 01:15:58.951
Yeah! Yeah!
01:15:59.240 --> 01:16:00.640
- Come on! Follow me!
- Let's do it!
01:16:00.760 --> 01:16:03.320
No! What the fuck am I doing?
Here! You get the gun.
01:16:03.480 --> 01:16:05.118
- I'm behind you. Go.
- All right.
01:16:09.680 --> 01:16:11.511
Oh, my God. There's two of them.
01:16:11.680 --> 01:16:14.114
Yeah, I'll distract them
and you open the door, okay?
01:16:14.280 --> 01:16:15.679
- What? No!
- Let's roll.
01:16:15.880 --> 01:16:16.915
No, no.
01:16:18.880 --> 01:16:20.154
Go, go!
01:16:20.880 --> 01:16:23.030
- Close in!
- Moving out!
01:16:23.200 --> 01:16:25.111
- Freeze, Bob!
- Sorry about this, guys.
01:16:28.280 --> 01:16:29.838
Nope, come here.
01:16:39.920 --> 01:16:41.194
Come on.
01:16:41.360 --> 01:16:43.590
Wrong keycard, pal. Turn around.
01:16:45.680 --> 01:16:46.829
You needed this one.
01:16:47.000 --> 01:16:48.228
On the ground, now.
01:16:48.400 --> 01:16:49.674
Can I say something first?
01:16:49.840 --> 01:16:51.398
- What?
- This is going to hurt.
01:16:54.280 --> 01:16:56.600
- Hey, get the keycard! Let's roll.
- All right, all right.
01:16:59.200 --> 01:17:00.474
Which car are we taking?
01:17:02.520 --> 01:17:03.555
Not that one.
01:17:03.760 --> 01:17:05.352
Oh, my God.
01:17:05.920 --> 01:17:07.717
Oh, God. Oh, sh...
01:17:08.640 --> 01:17:09.640
Oh.
01:17:09.960 --> 01:17:11.154
Here we go, Jet.
01:17:13.280 --> 01:17:15.720
- Bob, they are shooting at us!
- It's okay, it's bulletproof.
01:17:15.880 --> 01:17:16.880
Drive, drive!
01:17:28.760 --> 01:17:29.954
Here you go, Jet.
01:17:30.680 --> 01:17:31.680
What's this?
01:17:31.840 --> 01:17:33.876
Bug-out bag, courtesy of the CIA.
01:17:34.080 --> 01:17:35.536
Go ahead and grab that
encrypted phone in there.
01:17:35.560 --> 01:17:36.560
For what?
01:17:36.720 --> 01:17:38.360
You still have the bank transaction code?
01:17:38.520 --> 01:17:41.440
How are transaction numbers gonna help us
find out where the bad guys are?
01:17:41.600 --> 01:17:44.200
Well, it's not bank transaction
numbers or codes, it's actually...
01:17:44.280 --> 01:17:45.793
Longitude and latitude.
01:17:47.200 --> 01:17:50.909
Look at the spy brain
on the Jet! What-what!
01:17:51.240 --> 01:17:53.470
You're like a chocolate Google.
01:17:53.640 --> 01:17:55.676
Bob, don't do that. Stop it. Stop it.
01:17:55.840 --> 01:17:57.056
You're getting good at this, man.
01:17:57.080 --> 01:17:59.056
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
It's longitude and latitude.
01:17:59.080 --> 01:18:02.516
All you gotta do is plug those
digits into the GPS, and boom!
01:18:02.720 --> 01:18:05.280
We're gonna catch the buyer
and The Badger, just like that.
01:18:07.440 --> 01:18:09.112
Boston.
01:18:12.640 --> 01:18:14.312
We're gonna need a plane.
01:18:27.720 --> 01:18:28.994
You ever steal a plane before?
01:18:29.160 --> 01:18:31.435
- I stole some Starbursts one time.
- Mmm-hmm.
01:18:31.880 --> 01:18:33.950
So I don't know
if that compares or anything,
01:18:34.120 --> 01:18:35.553
but I wasn't successful with that.
01:18:35.720 --> 01:18:36.920
On the way out, I dropped 'em.
01:18:37.000 --> 01:18:38.376
Dropped the whole bag. The guy caught me.
01:18:38.400 --> 01:18:40.136
"What's that? " I just said, "A Starburst."
01:18:40.160 --> 01:18:42.151
Told him myself. It was a mess.
01:18:44.960 --> 01:18:47.394
Check it out. The universe provides.
01:18:49.920 --> 01:18:50.920
Oh.
01:18:52.880 --> 01:18:53.880
Golden Jet.
01:18:54.120 --> 01:18:55.519
- Golden Jet.
- Golden Jet.
01:18:59.440 --> 01:19:01.317
- It's just one guard in there.
- All right.
01:19:01.480 --> 01:19:03.118
90% of spy work is distraction.
01:19:03.280 --> 01:19:04.456
You get in there and distract that guard,
01:19:04.480 --> 01:19:05.549
I'm gonna get us a plane.
01:19:06.280 --> 01:19:07.315
What?
01:19:09.160 --> 01:19:10.760
I don't know what the hell you expect...
01:19:13.080 --> 01:19:14.080
Bob!
01:19:14.880 --> 01:19:15.880
Bob!
01:19:16.520 --> 01:19:17.555
Fuck!
01:19:18.160 --> 01:19:19.229
Fuck you, Bob!
01:19:20.640 --> 01:19:21.640
Damn it!
01:19:29.720 --> 01:19:32.029
Hey, I need a plane.
01:19:32.240 --> 01:19:35.152
Sir, you cannot be in here.
This is a private airfield.
01:19:35.320 --> 01:19:37.834
I understand that but I have an organ
in this cooler right now
01:19:38.040 --> 01:19:40.031
that needs to get transported ASAP.
01:19:40.720 --> 01:19:41.720
Really?
01:19:41.920 --> 01:19:44.912
Because my sister-in-law
had a heart transplant last year
01:19:45.080 --> 01:19:47.913
and they did not bring it
in a Playmate lunch cooler.
01:19:48.080 --> 01:19:49.877
I hate to break it to you,
01:19:50.040 --> 01:19:51.758
but this is not a...
01:19:53.000 --> 01:19:54.640
- This is not a heart.
- It's not a heart?
01:19:55.360 --> 01:19:56.395
No, it's not.
01:19:56.600 --> 01:19:57.794
Hmm. What is it then?
01:19:58.880 --> 01:20:01.030
- It's a dick.
- Okay.
01:20:02.600 --> 01:20:04.477
I am made of questions right now.
01:20:04.640 --> 01:20:05.914
Well, you don't have to ask.
01:20:06.080 --> 01:20:07.877
Last night, lady got into it with a man.
01:20:08.040 --> 01:20:09.712
She ended up cutting his pecker off.
01:20:09.880 --> 01:20:11.757
She left with it, got in a car, drove,
01:20:11.920 --> 01:20:13.876
got on 95, threw it out the window.
01:20:14.240 --> 01:20:17.073
The second largest penis hunt
in the state history.
01:20:17.240 --> 01:20:18.696
The man was Korean, so you better believe
01:20:18.720 --> 01:20:19.994
it took a long time to find.
01:20:20.600 --> 01:20:22.477
You're stereotyping Korean dicks.
01:20:22.640 --> 01:20:23.709
That's racist.
01:20:23.920 --> 01:20:25.638
I've seen Korean dicks bigger than you.
01:20:25.840 --> 01:20:28.354
Okay, after finding it,
the guy brought it to me,
01:20:28.520 --> 01:20:31.496
and he said, "Do your due diligence in
getting this dick where it's got to go."
01:20:31.520 --> 01:20:32.794
That's what I do.
01:20:32.960 --> 01:20:35.269
I'm a dick deliverer specialist.
01:20:35.720 --> 01:20:36.720
Oh, DDS?
01:20:36.960 --> 01:20:38.552
Like a dentist but for dicks.
01:20:39.320 --> 01:20:40.320
Uh...
01:20:41.000 --> 01:20:43.798
So, people are like,
"Here's a dick. Find a plane."
01:20:44.640 --> 01:20:46.710
That's how you do it?
You're like an Uber for dicks?
01:20:47.000 --> 01:20:48.680
Where do you get these jobs?
On Craigslist?
01:20:48.840 --> 01:20:50.840
Okay, sir, we don't need
to demean each other here.
01:20:50.920 --> 01:20:52.400
I don't believe a word you're saying.
01:20:52.920 --> 01:20:54.194
Let me see it.
01:20:54.800 --> 01:20:56.552
I have no problem showing you this.
01:20:56.720 --> 01:20:59.154
So if you wanna see it
then get ready to see.
01:20:59.520 --> 01:21:01.431
- Here I go.
- Go for it.
01:21:02.760 --> 01:21:05.593
Oh, shit! Oh, shit.
01:21:05.760 --> 01:21:08.194
I'm just kidding. This is my friend.
01:21:08.560 --> 01:21:10.232
- Oh!
- It's my buddy.
01:21:10.480 --> 01:21:12.277
His name's Snake Gyllenhaal.
01:21:12.480 --> 01:21:14.471
- He guards my lunch.
- Okay, that's enough.
01:21:38.200 --> 01:21:39.599
It's gotta be Harris, right?
01:21:40.880 --> 01:21:41.915
What do you mean?
01:21:42.120 --> 01:21:43.720
I mean, she's gotta be The Black Badger.
01:21:43.800 --> 01:21:45.096
It's the only thing that makes sense.
01:21:45.120 --> 01:21:47.000
I mean, she's had access
to the encryption codes
01:21:47.040 --> 01:21:49.720
and she's so hot and bothered about
pinning this whole thing on you.
01:21:49.880 --> 01:21:50.949
It's gotta be her!
01:21:51.120 --> 01:21:52.633
I don't know, Jet.
01:21:52.840 --> 01:21:54.720
I'm pretty sure she thinks
I'm The Black Badger.
01:21:54.880 --> 01:21:57.056
She worked me over pretty good
in that interrogation room.
01:21:57.080 --> 01:21:59.496
Hold on, wait, wait... What's going on?
01:21:59.520 --> 01:22:01.954
What's that?
What's going on right now, Bob?
01:22:02.120 --> 01:22:04.401
No biggie. We're completely outta gas.
01:22:04.480 --> 01:22:05.959
Oh, my... Oh!
01:22:07.920 --> 01:22:10.195
We're going down, Jet!
There's nothing I can do!
01:22:10.400 --> 01:22:12.994
- Oh, shit!
- Really quickly...
01:22:13.160 --> 01:22:16.755
What's the one thing
you wish you'd done in your life?
01:22:16.920 --> 01:22:19.416
The one thing I wish I hadn't done
is not get in a plane with a guy
01:22:19.440 --> 01:22:21.351
who didn't check the goddamned fuel!
01:22:21.520 --> 01:22:24.478
- Why wouldn't you check the fuel?
- No, something that's real.
01:22:24.640 --> 01:22:27.074
What's the one thing
you regret not doing for you?
01:22:27.240 --> 01:22:29.390
Oh, my God! I think we're gonna die!
01:22:34.120 --> 01:22:36.076
Not having a kid, man!
01:22:36.600 --> 01:22:37.794
Not being a father!
01:22:37.960 --> 01:22:40.315
I regret not being a father!
01:22:40.480 --> 01:22:42.357
Maggie, I should've gave you a kid!
01:22:42.560 --> 01:22:44.994
I should've gave you my seed, Maggie!
01:22:45.160 --> 01:22:46.559
I should've!
01:22:46.720 --> 01:22:48.073
I'm so selfish!
01:22:49.480 --> 01:22:51.471
I'm sorry, Maggie!
01:22:55.640 --> 01:22:57.915
- That wasn't so hard, right?
- What?
01:22:58.080 --> 01:22:59.798
Hey, just for the record,
01:22:59.960 --> 01:23:01.632
I think you'd make a great dad.
01:23:02.280 --> 01:23:04.077
Did you just fake this whole thing?
01:23:04.760 --> 01:23:05.760
Yeah, kinda.
01:23:05.920 --> 01:23:07.558
You gotta be shitting me glory!
01:23:07.720 --> 01:23:09.199
No, not at all.
01:23:09.360 --> 01:23:11.576
I just thought that maybe a
facing-your-own-death situation
01:23:11.600 --> 01:23:14.672
might help motivate you
to clarify some of your goals in life.
01:23:14.880 --> 01:23:16.393
And, hey, between me and you,
01:23:16.880 --> 01:23:18.560
I know you've been struggling
a little bit.
01:23:19.000 --> 01:23:21.195
You know what I'm struggling with
right now, Bob?
01:23:21.360 --> 01:23:22.839
Not whooping your ass.
01:23:23.000 --> 01:23:25.216
Okay, Jet.
Hey, you're really cute when you cry.
01:23:25.240 --> 01:23:27.151
Stop it! Enough!
01:23:40.800 --> 01:23:41.994
I don't get it.
01:23:42.200 --> 01:23:43.376
I mean, if these coordinates are correct,
01:23:43.400 --> 01:23:45.470
we should be standing right on top of it.
01:23:45.640 --> 01:23:48.518
The deal doesn't go down
for another 30 minutes, Jet,
01:23:48.680 --> 01:23:51.194
- so we're kinda early.
- No!
01:23:51.360 --> 01:23:52.896
Why would you do it
out in the open like this?
01:23:52.920 --> 01:23:54.433
Why would you take that risk?
01:23:54.600 --> 01:23:56.272
Just doesn't make any sense, man.
01:23:57.600 --> 01:23:59.272
Shit! Come on.
01:24:01.320 --> 01:24:02.355
Wait.
01:24:04.040 --> 01:24:05.917
Oh, wait.
It's not happening up here.
01:24:07.720 --> 01:24:09.119
No, it's not. It's...
01:24:12.000 --> 01:24:14.560
Oh, it's happening beneath us. Look.
01:24:14.720 --> 01:24:16.597
It's an underground parking garage.
01:24:17.520 --> 01:24:18.953
Yeah, that's a good eye, Jet.
01:24:19.480 --> 01:24:21.710
Why don't you stay up here?
Keep overwatch.
01:24:21.880 --> 01:24:23.480
I'll go down there and check things out.
01:24:23.520 --> 01:24:25.351
Wait, what? No, I'm going with you.
01:24:25.520 --> 01:24:28.273
You can't go with me.
The smarter play is if we split up.
01:24:28.440 --> 01:24:29.634
Smarter play for who?
01:24:30.080 --> 01:24:31.896
Do you know what happens
when people split up, Bob?
01:24:31.920 --> 01:24:32.955
Somebody dies!
01:24:33.120 --> 01:24:34.560
I'd be the one to die. You know why?
01:24:34.680 --> 01:24:37.160
Because I don't have a bulletproof vest
and I don't have a gun!
01:24:37.240 --> 01:24:39.000
Which means that you
are my bulletproof vest!
01:24:39.040 --> 01:24:41.576
My little black ass is gonna stay
behind you, you're not leaving me!
01:24:41.600 --> 01:24:43.477
That's exactly why
you should stay up here.
01:24:43.680 --> 01:24:46.136
Look, if you went down
in that garage and you got shot to death,
01:24:46.160 --> 01:24:47.320
you know how hurt I would be?
01:24:47.480 --> 01:24:49.160
I'd be super bummed out!
I don't want that.
01:24:49.280 --> 01:24:50.872
It's safer for you up here.
01:24:51.040 --> 01:24:53.056
If something happened up here,
what am I supposed to do, Bob?
01:24:53.080 --> 01:24:55.196
How do I get your attention?
Make a bird call?
01:24:57.520 --> 01:24:59.590
Does that sound like a bird to you? Huh?
01:24:59.760 --> 01:25:01.776
That's my biggest weakness!
I can't make bird noises.
01:25:01.800 --> 01:25:02.835
I never could.
01:25:03.000 --> 01:25:04.752
So if that's what
I gotta depend on to live,
01:25:04.920 --> 01:25:07.753
it means I'm gonna die!
I'mma die up here, by myself
01:25:07.920 --> 01:25:10.229
sounding like a dead-ass pigeon.
01:25:12.000 --> 01:25:14.594
- I have no idea what a pigeon...
- Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet!
01:25:14.760 --> 01:25:16.432
You don't have to make bird noises.
01:25:16.600 --> 01:25:17.736
You don't have to sound like a pigeon.
01:25:17.760 --> 01:25:20.593
All you gotta do
is call me on the encrypted phone
01:25:20.800 --> 01:25:22.597
that's in your hand.
01:25:27.200 --> 01:25:28.553
- Okay?
- Okay, yeah.
01:25:29.040 --> 01:25:30.393
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
01:25:30.600 --> 01:25:31.749
All right?
01:25:32.000 --> 01:25:33.194
Oh, Jet.
01:25:34.720 --> 01:25:36.392
I'll see you on the other side.
01:25:37.240 --> 01:25:38.240
Yeah.
01:25:38.560 --> 01:25:39.560
Yeah.
01:26:05.720 --> 01:26:06.789
You're early.
01:26:07.480 --> 01:26:09.072
So are you.
01:26:11.720 --> 01:26:13.073
Come on.
01:26:23.760 --> 01:26:25.079
Oh, my God!
01:26:28.920 --> 01:26:30.797
Oh, my God.
01:26:31.640 --> 01:26:32.640
I knew it.
01:26:32.800 --> 01:26:35.155
I knew it. I knew
she was The Black Badger!
01:26:35.320 --> 01:26:36.958
Oh, my God!
01:26:37.480 --> 01:26:39.600
Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone.
01:26:39.760 --> 01:26:40.760
Yello?
01:26:40.960 --> 01:26:43.554
Bob, Harris is The Black Badger!
01:26:43.760 --> 01:26:44.760
Hello?
01:26:45.120 --> 01:26:46.519
Harris is The Black Badger!
01:26:46.720 --> 01:26:47.755
I can't hear you.
01:26:47.920 --> 01:26:49.751
Harris is The Black Badger!
01:26:51.120 --> 01:26:53.634
Just kidding! I'm not here.
Leave a message at the beep.
01:26:53.800 --> 01:26:54.920
What?
01:27:05.120 --> 01:27:06.633
Oh. Harris is
The Black Badger!
01:27:06.800 --> 01:27:08.438
Harris is The Black Badger!
01:27:08.600 --> 01:27:10.909
I knew it. I knew it.
Harris is The Black Badger!
01:27:12.120 --> 01:27:14.236
Bob! Harris is The...
01:27:15.720 --> 01:27:16.720
Who is he?
01:27:17.160 --> 01:27:18.160
That's my partner.
01:27:32.040 --> 01:27:33.598
I don't like splitting my fees.
01:27:35.280 --> 01:27:38.431
The package. Please.
01:27:39.600 --> 01:27:41.238
Thought you'd never ask.
01:27:41.480 --> 01:27:44.870
Wait! You're making a mistake.
01:27:46.440 --> 01:27:48.112
Hello, Bob.
01:27:49.800 --> 01:27:51.392
But you're dead.
01:27:51.560 --> 01:27:53.596
Not as much as people think.
01:27:54.360 --> 01:27:57.113
Look, he's not The Black Badger...
01:27:57.800 --> 01:27:58.800
I am.
01:27:59.000 --> 01:28:01.116
And those aren't the encryption codes,
01:28:01.280 --> 01:28:02.599
these are.
01:28:02.760 --> 01:28:03.875
He's lying to you.
01:28:04.040 --> 01:28:05.519
This man is a CIA agent,
01:28:05.880 --> 01:28:07.480
and he's trying to sell you bogus plans.
01:28:14.720 --> 01:28:15.755
Damn.
01:28:17.720 --> 01:28:19.039
Ow, ow.
01:28:22.640 --> 01:28:23.709
He shot me.
01:28:27.640 --> 01:28:29.790
These are the real codes
01:28:30.640 --> 01:28:32.232
and I am the real Black Badger.
01:28:36.360 --> 01:28:37.839
Bob is The Black Badger.
01:28:39.520 --> 01:28:40.816
Bob is The Black Badger.
01:28:40.840 --> 01:28:42.910
I am The Black Badger.
01:28:43.400 --> 01:28:44.594
Phil?
01:28:45.840 --> 01:28:48.400
No, I'm The Black Badger.
01:28:48.560 --> 01:28:51.552
I'm starting to think
I might be The Black Badger.
01:28:53.800 --> 01:28:55.438
Here's the thing.
01:28:55.640 --> 01:28:58.712
I have no idea
who is the real Black Badger.
01:28:59.760 --> 01:29:01.273
And I don't care.
01:29:01.480 --> 01:29:02.959
'Cause I'm The Honey Badger.
01:29:03.120 --> 01:29:05.031
And The Honey Badger doesn't give a shit.
01:29:05.200 --> 01:29:06.792
The Honey Badger's nasty.
01:29:06.960 --> 01:29:09.633
He's so nasty, he'll take them both.
01:29:10.160 --> 01:29:11.480
Hand them over.
01:29:11.720 --> 01:29:13.915
Phil, when this thing is over,
01:29:14.080 --> 01:29:18.119
I'm going to rip your throat out
like Patrick Swayze in Road House.
01:29:18.280 --> 01:29:19.760
Oh, my God. You and Road House.
01:29:19.800 --> 01:29:20.835
Get over that movie.
01:29:21.040 --> 01:29:22.758
It sucked then, it sucks now.
01:29:23.280 --> 01:29:24.599
Fuck Patrick Swayze!
01:29:25.600 --> 01:29:26.715
How dare you!
01:29:32.040 --> 01:29:33.439
Drop your weapons!
01:29:39.200 --> 01:29:40.235
Oh! Oh, shit!
01:29:52.560 --> 01:29:53.709
The codes.
01:29:54.120 --> 01:29:55.235
Don't do it.
01:29:55.880 --> 01:29:56.949
Stupid.
01:29:59.400 --> 01:30:00.400
Okay.
01:30:00.960 --> 01:30:01.995
One,
01:30:03.040 --> 01:30:04.040
two,
01:30:05.400 --> 01:30:06.400
three! Shit!
01:30:11.720 --> 01:30:13.392
Uh-oh! Oh!
01:30:13.920 --> 01:30:14.920
No!
01:30:15.400 --> 01:30:16.515
He's got the codes!
01:30:51.520 --> 01:30:52.520
Whoo!
01:30:52.960 --> 01:30:54.598
I mean, this is crazy, right?
01:30:54.960 --> 01:30:56.256
You stay the hell away from me, Bob!
01:30:56.280 --> 01:30:57.554
You shot me in the neck!
01:31:00.600 --> 01:31:01.600
Jet!
01:31:22.880 --> 01:31:23.915
Okay.
01:31:28.320 --> 01:31:30.470
Golden Jet for the win!
01:31:32.120 --> 01:31:33.633
No. Shit!
01:31:33.840 --> 01:31:35.193
Drop your weapon, Bob.
01:31:36.400 --> 01:31:37.400
Oh, shit!
01:31:37.560 --> 01:31:39.118
Get behind me, Mr. Joyner.
01:31:39.560 --> 01:31:40.913
Ah, you don't wanna do that, Jet.
01:31:41.160 --> 01:31:42.434
It's obvious he's the bad guy.
01:31:42.640 --> 01:31:44.216
I'm the good guy. You wanna get behind me.
01:31:44.240 --> 01:31:46.071
Agent Harris had me go dark
01:31:46.240 --> 01:31:49.312
to get Bob to reveal himself
as The Black Badger.
01:31:49.520 --> 01:31:51.256
You don't seriously
believe this guy, do you?
01:31:51.280 --> 01:31:52.440
You wanna get behind me, Jet.
01:31:52.600 --> 01:31:54.318
You betrayed your nation, Bob.
01:31:54.680 --> 01:31:56.989
You betrayed your partner, Phil.
01:31:57.160 --> 01:32:00.516
Okay, no, wait! Everybody just stop!
01:32:00.680 --> 01:32:01.715
Cut the shit!
01:32:02.280 --> 01:32:03.918
I'mma cut the line right now!
01:32:04.120 --> 01:32:05.473
I cut the shit!
01:32:05.640 --> 01:32:07.517
Hear me? Now I don't care
who betrayed who.
01:32:07.680 --> 01:32:09.113
Okay? I just don't wanna get hurt!
01:32:09.560 --> 01:32:12.074
So there ain't gonna be no... Shit!
01:32:20.960 --> 01:32:21.960
Come on.
01:32:37.840 --> 01:32:38.840
Shi...
01:32:43.520 --> 01:32:44.520
Shit.
01:33:03.240 --> 01:33:05.310
Smart move, Mr. Joyner.
01:33:05.480 --> 01:33:07.755
You've done your country a great service.
01:33:07.920 --> 01:33:10.115
Now, hand me the firearm
01:33:10.280 --> 01:33:13.511
and we'll turn over
the satellite codes together.
01:33:13.920 --> 01:33:17.515
Stay right there, man.
Don't you take another step.
01:33:17.760 --> 01:33:20.069
Just because I shot him
does not mean I trust you.
01:33:20.480 --> 01:33:21.629
We don't have time for this.
01:33:21.840 --> 01:33:24.593
Stop! I said, "Stop."
01:33:25.360 --> 01:33:27.112
Aw, whoopsie.
01:33:31.320 --> 01:33:33.356
Nice throw, bitch.
01:33:38.080 --> 01:33:42.596
You wanna know why your pal Bob
could never have been The Black Badger?
01:33:43.760 --> 01:33:45.876
It's because he's too weak.
01:33:46.040 --> 01:33:48.349
And if I had to hear
another goddamned story
01:33:48.520 --> 01:33:51.717
about Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner
01:33:51.880 --> 01:33:54.030
and how awesome you were in high school
01:33:54.200 --> 01:33:56.794
and how you were
this big idiot's best friend,
01:33:56.960 --> 01:33:58.473
I was just gonna lose it.
01:33:59.760 --> 01:34:03.070
Looking at you right now,
you don't seem so cool.
01:34:03.280 --> 01:34:06.716
You just seem like a regular guy.
01:34:07.160 --> 01:34:08.593
An everyday Joe.
01:34:09.480 --> 01:34:13.075
You know, faking my own death
was the easy part.
01:34:13.960 --> 01:34:17.236
But dealing with Bob, day after day,
was the hard part.
01:34:17.400 --> 01:34:18.400
Hey, Phil.
01:34:18.560 --> 01:34:19.629
What, Bob?
01:34:20.560 --> 01:34:22.391
I'll see you on the other side.
01:34:23.080 --> 01:34:25.389
No, I hope we don't. All right?
01:34:25.560 --> 01:34:27.118
Just, no. Bye, bye, bye.
01:34:27.280 --> 01:34:28.280
Just go.
01:34:28.440 --> 01:34:31.159
I made up the Black Badger,
rigged up a blood bag
01:34:31.320 --> 01:34:32.480
and that big dummy bought it.
01:34:32.640 --> 01:34:33.789
Bob!
01:34:34.000 --> 01:34:35.911
No, no! Hang on, buddy.
01:34:36.520 --> 01:34:38.040
No, there's some sort of bomb in here.
01:34:38.080 --> 01:34:39.957
You're pushing it closed, I think.
01:34:40.120 --> 01:34:42.190
- No, no, no. Sorry.
- No, don't give up!
01:34:42.400 --> 01:34:43.400
Bye, Bob.
01:34:44.440 --> 01:34:46.749
I'm getting away with
a half a billion dollars.
01:34:46.920 --> 01:34:50.356
And Boy Scout Bob is gonna
spend his life in prison.
01:34:50.520 --> 01:34:52.112
Ain't America great?
01:34:52.920 --> 01:34:57.436
So now you're gonna be
the second partner of Bob's to die.
01:34:57.600 --> 01:34:58.600
Just relax.
01:34:58.760 --> 01:35:01.354
On your knees, Golden Jet.
01:35:11.080 --> 01:35:12.274
What the hell was that?
01:35:14.120 --> 01:35:15.758
Golden Jet flip.
01:35:16.280 --> 01:35:19.192
Yeah? Well, you really suck at it.
01:35:19.400 --> 01:35:20.628
I know.
01:35:20.800 --> 01:35:22.472
Then why'd you do it?
01:35:22.640 --> 01:35:23.640
Distraction.
01:35:27.680 --> 01:35:29.080
Oh, you just pulled his throat out!
01:35:31.480 --> 01:35:33.198
I'll see you on the other side.
01:35:38.320 --> 01:35:40.056
Jet, come here.
Give me your hand, old buddy.
01:35:40.080 --> 01:35:41.798
Oh, shit! Get that away from me!
01:35:42.000 --> 01:35:43.149
Sorry, Jet.
01:35:44.200 --> 01:35:46.475
Come here, Jet.
That was a trachea.
01:35:46.640 --> 01:35:48.153
Great distraction, man!
01:35:48.320 --> 01:35:49.753
Sorry I had to shoot you, Jet.
01:35:49.920 --> 01:35:51.638
It was the only way
I could save your life.
01:35:51.800 --> 01:35:53.995
But when you shot me
to get Phil to confess
01:35:54.160 --> 01:35:55.479
that he was The Black Badger,
01:35:55.680 --> 01:35:57.636
that was some next-level-type shit!
01:35:57.800 --> 01:36:01.554
Yeah, no.
I'm glad you see it the way I saw it.
01:36:01.720 --> 01:36:03.676
That was my plan the whole time. So...
01:36:03.840 --> 01:36:05.512
You are a natural for this line of work.
01:36:05.680 --> 01:36:07.176
I mean, you're smart,
you got the skill set,
01:36:07.200 --> 01:36:08.235
you're a people person
01:36:08.400 --> 01:36:11.676
and you already got a dope-ass code name,
"The Golden Jet!" What?
01:36:11.840 --> 01:36:13.736
But in the meantime,
we gotta get those encryption codes
01:36:13.760 --> 01:36:15.680
over to Harris right away
or we're gonna be late.
01:36:15.840 --> 01:36:18.195
What are you talking about? Late for what?
01:36:20.200 --> 01:36:25.115
The reunion, dude. What-what!
This shit's on!
01:36:27.080 --> 01:36:29.036
Bob. Damn it.
01:36:52.560 --> 01:36:53.560
Bob!
01:36:53.720 --> 01:36:54.720
One more thing.
01:36:54.880 --> 01:36:56.480
Thanks for securing the satellite codes.
01:36:56.640 --> 01:36:58.153
You really saved my ass.
01:36:58.320 --> 01:36:59.389
Your country thanks you.
01:37:00.000 --> 01:37:01.000
Just doing my job.
01:37:01.040 --> 01:37:03.918
I'm really sorry about your hand.
I hope you know that wasn't personal.
01:37:04.080 --> 01:37:05.800
Oh, no hard feelings at all, Pam.
01:37:06.200 --> 01:37:07.679
Besides, everybody makes mistakes.
01:37:07.880 --> 01:37:09.871
Calvin, here, thought
you were The Black Badger.
01:37:11.840 --> 01:37:13.080
I don't... No, I don't think...
01:37:13.120 --> 01:37:15.616
When we were in the plane,
you said, "Hey, Harris is the Black..."
01:37:15.640 --> 01:37:17.520
I think you should... Maybe I...
01:37:17.800 --> 01:37:20.553
Mr. Joyner, it was a pleasure
working with you.
01:37:20.720 --> 01:37:23.439
If you ever want a career change,
you give me a call.
01:37:24.160 --> 01:37:26.496
If I were to give you a call,
how would I get in touch with you?
01:37:26.520 --> 01:37:28.351
Just pick up any phone in your house.
01:37:28.520 --> 01:37:29.635
They're all bugged.
01:37:31.320 --> 01:37:33.038
You're crazy. Hey, you're crazy!
01:37:33.600 --> 01:37:35.511
That's a good one.
01:37:35.680 --> 01:37:38.114
Calvin! I got your text
and came right over.
01:37:38.280 --> 01:37:41.397
Where the hell have you been?
Why did you get out of a helicopter?
01:37:41.840 --> 01:37:43.398
Hey, uh, Maggie.
01:37:43.560 --> 01:37:44.675
Uh, hi!
01:37:45.120 --> 01:37:46.712
Babe, why is Dr. Dan with you?
01:37:47.120 --> 01:37:48.155
Well... Uh...
01:37:48.520 --> 01:37:49.873
That's not Dr. Dan.
01:37:50.040 --> 01:37:52.315
Allow me to properly introduce myself.
01:37:52.480 --> 01:37:53.629
My name is Bob Stone,
01:37:54.200 --> 01:37:56.873
the artist formerly known as
Robbie Wheirdicht.
01:37:57.040 --> 01:37:58.075
I work for the CIA.
01:37:58.240 --> 01:38:00.376
I roped your husband
into helping me track down a traitor,
01:38:00.400 --> 01:38:03.198
who was gonna sell
military state secrets to a terrorist.
01:38:03.360 --> 01:38:04.918
We did all that, we stopped them,
01:38:05.080 --> 01:38:07.196
we saved the free world, and here we are.
01:38:09.040 --> 01:38:10.393
What the hell is going on?
01:38:10.560 --> 01:38:12.198
Okay, listen, listen.
01:38:12.400 --> 01:38:14.391
I've been a fool. All right?
01:38:14.560 --> 01:38:16.551
I thought that my life was a failure.
01:38:16.720 --> 01:38:19.029
I thought that it wasn't special.
But it is special.
01:38:19.240 --> 01:38:21.071
It's special because I have you in it.
01:38:21.240 --> 01:38:24.391
You are my world.
You are what makes me special!
01:38:24.960 --> 01:38:27.110
You're everything to me, Mags.
01:38:27.280 --> 01:38:28.554
I love you.
01:38:29.240 --> 01:38:30.389
I love you.
01:38:35.080 --> 01:38:36.080
Okay.
01:38:37.240 --> 01:38:39.071
Here come the waterworks.
01:38:39.240 --> 01:38:41.231
I promised myself I wouldn't do this.
01:38:43.920 --> 01:38:45.751
- Come on, come on.
- Okay.
01:38:48.720 --> 01:38:50.438
- That's Robbie Wheirdicht?
- Yeah.
01:39:12.800 --> 01:39:13.994
- Hi, Brian.
- Hi, Gail.
01:39:14.160 --> 01:39:16.276
Guys, this isn't a good idea.
You know what?
01:39:16.440 --> 01:39:18.749
I'll just meet you later.
I shouldn't have come.
01:39:18.920 --> 01:39:19.920
Wait, wait, wait.
01:39:20.080 --> 01:39:23.117
Bob, calm down, okay? Listen to me.
01:39:23.280 --> 01:39:25.776
Tonight is not gonna be
how high school was for you 20 years ago.
01:39:25.800 --> 01:39:26.994
I promise.
01:39:27.160 --> 01:39:29.628
Attention, por favor.
01:39:29.840 --> 01:39:30.989
And now,
01:39:31.160 --> 01:39:33.799
for the moment
you've all been waiting for,
01:39:33.960 --> 01:39:38.511
tonight's vote for the reunion
homecoming king and queen!
01:39:38.680 --> 01:39:40.352
We'll announce the queen in one moment.
01:39:40.520 --> 01:39:42.954
But first, without further ado...
01:39:43.480 --> 01:39:45.311
The new homecoming king
01:39:45.480 --> 01:39:49.155
for the Central High School Centaurs,
Class of 1996 is...
01:39:49.480 --> 01:39:50.674
I really gotta pee, Jet.
01:39:50.840 --> 01:39:52.319
Bob Stone!
01:39:54.840 --> 01:39:56.398
Do we have a Bob Stone?
01:39:56.560 --> 01:39:58.869
Here he is, Bob Stone, huh!
01:39:59.600 --> 01:40:00.760
Yeah!
01:40:01.920 --> 01:40:03.876
Go on, get your rock-hard ass up there.
01:40:04.600 --> 01:40:05.600
For reals?
01:40:05.760 --> 01:40:07.910
For reals, for reals. Go ahead, man.
01:40:08.520 --> 01:40:09.520
Whoo!
01:40:09.760 --> 01:40:11.273
You did it, big guy!
01:40:17.280 --> 01:40:20.352
How did Bob Stone win homecoming king?
01:40:20.640 --> 01:40:22.915
I hacked into the votes on the flight in.
01:40:23.120 --> 01:40:26.078
Calvin Joyner, forensic accountant,
at your service.
01:40:27.440 --> 01:40:29.749
I had no idea you could do that.
01:40:30.520 --> 01:40:33.637
There's a lot of things
that you don't know about me, Maggie.
01:40:34.240 --> 01:40:35.400
No, scratch that I said that.
01:40:35.560 --> 01:40:37.256
It was supposed to
come out cool. It didn't.
01:40:37.280 --> 01:40:38.656
It was something I thought of,
it was like a...
01:40:38.680 --> 01:40:39.715
Forget it.
01:40:41.120 --> 01:40:42.951
Well, well, let's hear it for him!
01:40:43.120 --> 01:40:44.599
Fat Robbie made good.
01:40:44.760 --> 01:40:48.036
King Robbie Weird Dick, our naked mascot.
01:40:48.680 --> 01:40:50.376
Why don't you just
get out of the way, Trevor?
01:40:50.400 --> 01:40:51.719
Or what, Golden Jet?
01:40:51.880 --> 01:40:53.256
You're gonna hop up here
and punch me in the belt?
01:40:53.280 --> 01:40:54.395
Simmer down, Ant-Man.
01:40:54.560 --> 01:40:56.790
- You know what? That's it. That's it.
- It's okay.
01:40:56.960 --> 01:40:58.136
- It's all right.
- No, I've had it!
01:40:58.160 --> 01:40:59.752
- I got it, Jet. It's okay.
- It's okay.
01:40:59.920 --> 01:41:01.035
I'll handle it.
01:41:01.320 --> 01:41:05.233
Whoa, whoa! Hang on. I'm not buying
this whole transformation
01:41:05.400 --> 01:41:06.992
from ugly duckling into swan.
01:41:07.200 --> 01:41:08.200
No one in here is.
01:41:08.360 --> 01:41:11.796
You can fly in, in a bunch of helicopters
and dress up in a thousand suits,
01:41:12.000 --> 01:41:15.595
but to everybody, including me,
you'll always just be the fat kid.
01:41:18.880 --> 01:41:20.600
I've been thinking
about this a lot, Trevor.
01:41:21.520 --> 01:41:23.112
And the only thing I want to say to you
01:41:23.760 --> 01:41:24.760
is I forgive you.
01:41:25.320 --> 01:41:27.834
You forgive me! Oh, boy! For what?
01:41:28.000 --> 01:41:29.513
For being rad as shit.
01:41:29.680 --> 01:41:30.874
Fuck you, fat boy.
01:41:31.080 --> 01:41:32.560
Still a scared little bitch.
01:41:36.800 --> 01:41:37.994
I don't like bullies.
01:41:41.800 --> 01:41:44.030
And the name is Bob Stone, bitch!
01:41:44.360 --> 01:41:45.360
Whoo-whoo!
01:41:46.000 --> 01:41:47.399
Come on, baby. Step over.
01:41:51.360 --> 01:41:52.509
Hi, everybody!
01:41:53.480 --> 01:41:56.950
Most of you knew me back in high school as
01:41:57.920 --> 01:41:59.399
Robbie Wheirdicht.
01:41:59.600 --> 01:42:01.511
- That's Robbie Wheirdicht?
- No way!
01:42:01.680 --> 01:42:03.716
I wore prescription pants every day.
01:42:05.800 --> 01:42:08.030
Twenty years ago, in this gym,
01:42:09.240 --> 01:42:11.196
I stood in front of you all
01:42:12.040 --> 01:42:13.155
naked
01:42:13.880 --> 01:42:15.279
and embarrassed.
01:42:16.240 --> 01:42:18.151
Some of you might remember that day.
01:42:19.360 --> 01:42:21.476
A lot of you probably even laughed.
01:42:22.480 --> 01:42:24.118
But that's okay.
01:42:25.240 --> 01:42:27.834
Tonight's gonna be different because
01:42:28.000 --> 01:42:31.072
my best friend is here with me.
01:42:33.240 --> 01:42:38.394
And he taught me what it means
to be the hero of your own story.
01:42:41.160 --> 01:42:42.560
Would you hold this for me, please?
01:42:44.240 --> 01:42:46.151
Being the hero of your own story
01:42:46.320 --> 01:42:50.677
isn't about stopping bad guys
or climbing mountains.
01:42:50.840 --> 01:42:53.957
It's about overcoming bullies
in your life,
01:42:54.120 --> 01:42:57.032
whatever or whomever they may be.
01:42:58.000 --> 01:43:00.673
It's about putting it all out there
01:43:01.360 --> 01:43:02.395
for everyone
01:43:03.760 --> 01:43:04.909
to see.
01:43:05.760 --> 01:43:07.591
And it's realizing that, in life,
01:43:07.760 --> 01:43:10.115
the most important thing that you can be
01:43:11.240 --> 01:43:12.309
is yourself.
01:43:13.080 --> 01:43:17.392
So, Central High, Class of 1996,
01:43:18.360 --> 01:43:21.238
this is me, Robbie Wheirdicht.
01:43:32.520 --> 01:43:35.114
Oh, my God! Bob just went commando!
01:43:36.960 --> 01:43:38.552
Yes! Yes!
01:43:43.000 --> 01:43:44.592
Way to go, Bob!
01:43:45.480 --> 01:43:46.708
Be you!
01:43:47.240 --> 01:43:49.310
Robbie!
Robbie! Robbie!
01:43:49.480 --> 01:43:52.472
Robbie! Robbie! Robbie!
01:43:58.000 --> 01:43:59.149
Hey, man!
01:43:59.320 --> 01:44:01.515
Dude, this is amazing!
I'm so happy for you!
01:44:01.680 --> 01:44:03.398
Thank you, Jet! I feel so free!
01:44:03.920 --> 01:44:04.955
- Come here.
- No, no, no.
01:44:05.120 --> 01:44:06.872
Your junk is out.
01:44:07.240 --> 01:44:09.800
- Oh. Sorry, Jet.
- Excuse me.
01:44:12.240 --> 01:44:13.593
Hi, Robbie.
01:44:14.680 --> 01:44:16.750
- You probably don't remember me.
- Darla.
01:44:18.000 --> 01:44:20.036
- Is that Darla McGuckian?
- Yeah.
01:44:20.200 --> 01:44:22.475
Wow! She looks great!
01:44:22.840 --> 01:44:24.240
Didn't she used to have a lazy eye?
01:44:24.400 --> 01:44:25.719
- Two of them.
- Wow.
01:44:25.880 --> 01:44:27.950
I can't believe you remember me.
01:44:28.120 --> 01:44:29.599
Remember you?
01:44:29.760 --> 01:44:31.318
How could I forget you?
01:44:32.000 --> 01:44:35.788
You still have the same sweet smile,
the same sweet face.
01:44:36.360 --> 01:44:39.193
But your hair's changed.
You used to wear it curlier.
01:44:39.360 --> 01:44:40.588
I like it though.
01:44:41.040 --> 01:44:42.678
You haven't changed at all.
01:44:42.880 --> 01:44:44.393
Oh, I don't know.
01:44:50.520 --> 01:44:52.351
You're still as beautiful as ever.
01:44:52.680 --> 01:44:53.680
Oh.
01:45:03.040 --> 01:45:04.758
- Yeah, Bob!
- Go, Bob!
01:45:05.760 --> 01:45:07.239
No, no, no.
01:45:14.480 --> 01:45:16.550
Oh, I got spinny.
01:45:16.760 --> 01:45:18.557
Super spinny.
01:45:21.160 --> 01:45:22.957
Yeah, that's nice.
01:45:23.640 --> 01:45:26.393
- Can I take you to get ice-cream...
- Yes.
01:45:27.240 --> 01:45:29.231
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
01:45:29.840 --> 01:45:32.832
Super lactose intolerant, but that's okay.
Let's roll the dice.
01:45:35.840 --> 01:45:36.840
That's my jam!
01:45:37.000 --> 01:45:38.040
Go show them what you got.
01:45:38.240 --> 01:45:40.071
- All right, Darla.
- Okay.
01:45:40.400 --> 01:45:42.391
Darla, hi. Calvin.
01:45:42.600 --> 01:45:44.238
Hi, Colin. Nice to meet you.
01:45:44.840 --> 01:45:46.751
- Calvin.
- And Maggie.
01:45:46.920 --> 01:45:48.592
Maggie, hi!
01:45:48.760 --> 01:45:51.069
Hi. You look so good.
01:45:51.280 --> 01:45:53.589
- My gosh, you look the same.
- You do too.
01:45:53.760 --> 01:45:54.760
Oh, I don't know.
01:45:54.920 --> 01:45:57.036
You probably remember me
as The Golden Jet.
01:45:57.240 --> 01:45:59.834
Your name's Golden Jeff? Hi, Jeff.
01:46:00.600 --> 01:46:02.272
It's okay. Good to see you.
01:46:05.680 --> 01:46:08.114
- Good going, Bob!
- Come on, Bob!
01:46:23.840 --> 01:46:25.353
- All right.
- Good luck!
01:46:25.560 --> 01:46:26.788
- Love you.
- I love you.
01:46:26.960 --> 01:46:28.837
I love you, too, little Golden Jet!
01:46:31.520 --> 01:46:32.520
Mmm...
01:46:32.680 --> 01:46:33.749
Okay. Uh...
01:46:34.840 --> 01:46:36.398
How long do you think he's been there?
01:46:37.160 --> 01:46:38.957
Hmm, probably since last night.
01:46:39.560 --> 01:46:41.000
All right, babe, I'll see you later.
01:46:41.160 --> 01:46:42.878
Have fun with your friend!
01:46:48.480 --> 01:46:49.480
Who, me?
01:46:49.640 --> 01:46:50.914
Yes, you.
01:47:00.120 --> 01:47:01.439
Wow, Jet!
01:47:01.640 --> 01:47:03.312
You look amazing!
01:47:03.520 --> 01:47:05.272
- Do you think?
- Oh, what? Yes!
01:47:05.480 --> 01:47:07.311
I just didn't know
the kind of look to go for
01:47:07.520 --> 01:47:08.656
on my first day at the agency.
01:47:08.680 --> 01:47:10.716
You look like a black Will Smith,
or something.
01:47:10.920 --> 01:47:12.600
Okay, I'm not sure
if that's racist or not,
01:47:12.760 --> 01:47:13.936
but I'll take it as a compliment.
01:47:13.960 --> 01:47:15.359
All right, cool. Yeah, come on!
01:47:15.520 --> 01:47:16.669
Okay.
01:47:17.320 --> 01:47:18.514
All right. Don't be nervous.
01:47:18.680 --> 01:47:20.520
You are gonna do great.
They're gonna love you!
01:47:20.600 --> 01:47:21.999
Oh, Jet, Jet, Jet!
01:47:22.200 --> 01:47:23.320
Um, before we go, man, uh...
01:47:24.760 --> 01:47:25.875
I got a surprise for you.
01:47:27.120 --> 01:47:29.031
Okay. What's the surprise?
01:47:29.200 --> 01:47:31.839
Well, you gotta close your eyes first.
01:47:33.520 --> 01:47:34.669
Eyes are closed.
01:47:34.880 --> 01:47:35.880
No peeking.
01:47:41.360 --> 01:47:42.509
Open your eyes.
01:47:46.840 --> 01:47:49.195
Is that my... Is that my jacket?
01:47:49.360 --> 01:47:50.395
Yes!
01:47:50.560 --> 01:47:52.551
- Bob, is that my jacket?
- Yes!
01:47:52.720 --> 01:47:54.153
- No, wait a minute.
- Yes!
01:47:54.360 --> 01:47:56.032
Oh, my God!
01:47:56.400 --> 01:47:57.656
Dude, where'd you get this from?
01:47:57.680 --> 01:48:01.309
Well, I sleep in it most nights,
but it's clean now, totally good. Yeah!
01:48:01.480 --> 01:48:04.074
Man! You are the man! Yes!
01:48:04.240 --> 01:48:07.118
- Family hug! What?
- Ooh. Okay.
01:48:09.200 --> 01:48:10.315
All right, let's go!
01:48:10.480 --> 01:48:11.799
- Okay.
- All right.
01:48:26.200 --> 01:48:28.156
You still ride?
01:48:28.680 --> 01:48:30.910
Cut! The fire department's here.
01:48:31.200 --> 01:48:33.589
All right. That's our cue, guys!
01:48:34.520 --> 01:48:36.400
Here we are
shooting Central Intelligence.
01:48:36.440 --> 01:48:38.351
They shut us down.
The fire trucks are out here.
01:48:38.520 --> 01:48:40.336
- Shut the fuck up!
- Will you get the fuck out of my video?
01:48:40.360 --> 01:48:41.496
I'mma slap the dogshit out of you.
01:48:41.520 --> 01:48:42.656
Why do you do your video behind me?
01:48:42.680 --> 01:48:44.016
- I'm trying to do my video!
- This is my video!
01:48:44.040 --> 01:48:45.656
- You're in my fucking video!
- I'm pissed off.
01:48:45.680 --> 01:48:47.296
Watch your mouth,
I'll slap the shit out of you.
01:48:47.320 --> 01:48:48.320
Fuck you!
01:48:49.280 --> 01:48:51.794
Okay. You have it your way.
01:48:52.760 --> 01:48:54.751
You leave me no choice.
01:48:56.040 --> 01:48:57.040
Pam...
01:48:58.360 --> 01:48:59.360
Tickler! Tickler!
01:48:59.520 --> 01:49:02.034
Where are the codes? Where are the codes?
01:49:03.040 --> 01:49:04.519
It's just nice.
01:49:06.200 --> 01:49:08.760
In here and it's kind of all...
01:49:10.280 --> 01:49:11.679
- Oh, my God.
- Sorry.
01:49:16.280 --> 01:49:17.633
- Can you do both?
- Yeah.
01:49:18.000 --> 01:49:19.115
Oh, my God!
01:49:22.360 --> 01:49:24.157
It's called "soul gazing."
01:49:24.320 --> 01:49:27.869
Stare into my soul
and I'll stare into yours.
01:49:28.080 --> 01:49:29.520
- Come in. Shh.
- You're not my wife!
01:49:29.680 --> 01:49:31.079
Oh, that's it.
01:49:32.960 --> 01:49:34.359
- Bob, I'm gonna...
- Shh.
01:49:35.480 --> 01:49:37.240
I promise you'll never...
01:49:38.160 --> 01:49:39.832
Let's keep on, keep on.
01:49:40.000 --> 01:49:41.400
Okay, for real this time.
01:49:42.160 --> 01:49:44.151
It's for real.
This is for real, guys, yeah.
01:49:44.680 --> 01:49:45.795
- That's it!
- Oh.
01:49:45.960 --> 01:49:47.473
One more. Come on.
01:49:47.680 --> 01:49:48.936
- I can't do this, I'm not...
- Shh.
01:49:48.960 --> 01:49:51.633
Oh, my God. I've fucking had it.
01:49:51.800 --> 01:49:52.936
Lock it! We're professionals.
01:49:52.960 --> 01:49:54.880
- This is what we do. You ready?
- Come on, baby!
01:49:54.920 --> 01:49:56.638
I'm gonna hit you. I told you!
01:49:56.800 --> 01:49:57.994
Fuck!
01:49:59.960 --> 01:50:00.960
Are you not a super tool?
01:50:01.120 --> 01:50:03.395
You're not even Robbie Wheirdicht.
You're Bob Stone!
01:50:04.120 --> 01:50:05.776
- I made that name up.
- So what?
01:50:05.800 --> 01:50:07.320
- It's not real.
- What does that mean?
01:50:07.440 --> 01:50:11.319
What, you think Mr. T and Sting
01:50:11.480 --> 01:50:12.708
and The Rock...
01:50:12.880 --> 01:50:14.359
You think those guys are real?
01:50:14.520 --> 01:50:17.512
That's a bunch of dumbass nicknames
by a bunch of dumbass people.
01:56:02.720 --> 01:56:03.994
Fanny!